Friday, July 31, 2015

Worst. Genealogists. Ever.

We know that Smallville is a, well, small town (unless you're Scott Snyder, and think Smallville had a population of 36,000).

So you've got to work kind of hard to amuse yourself, especially in ye olden days.

So one group has a keen idea:

Smallville has a genealogy society?

Anyway, their unique way to honor Superboy?


OK.

Needless to say, genealogists, even small town genealogists, can't trace your "future family tree."

First of all, they have no idea of whom Superboy might marry.

Secondly, they don't even know if he can breed with humans. I'm not getting all "Woman Of Kleenex" here--but seriously, different species, guys. It probably shouldn't bet aken as a given, right?

Third, really, should you presume that there will always be a male offspring, and that male offspring will always choose to a super-hero named Superman? Seriously, what if one wants to become a librarian, or a taxidermist?!? What's if there's only a female child? What if he decides that Superman is a lame name, and wants to call himself Hyperdude?

But the most egregious thing is the extreme care taken to portray the pictures of the future descendants of Kal-El:

And another look at the banner:

Come on, they're all going to look alike?!?! For heaven's sake, Smallville genealogists, don't just cut and paste the same picture for every generation--try using a teeny bit of imagination! Why not a blond Superman? One with no cleft chin?

Well, the citizens of Smallville seem to be having a good time:

I guess it beats another barn-raising or square dance...

From Superboy #120 (1965)

4 comments:

Sina said...

RE: "different species"...again, my own personal opinion is officially "just because they're Kryptonian, doesn't mean they're not Human" :) mostly because i've always liked n' preferred Supes as a down-home, corn-fed country boy hick who prefers to be a champion of good for people everywhere as taught by his ma & pa, rather than any other more "alien" interpretation :D

Arynne said...

Totally. I remember a couple comics where somebody mentions Superman's an alien and the other person refuses to believe it, shouting "No way!" or "Are you kidding me? The man's as American as mayonnaise on white bread!" I love the idea that most people have no idea about the alien part, because he's so obviously One of Us.

Martin Gray said...

Gosh, all those Superman lookalikes - perhaps they're getting Krypton confused with that place White Witch studied?

Jon Hendry said...

"Smallville has a genealogy society?"

Smallville's handful of Mormons?