Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Comic That Declared That it Didn't Exist?!?

The Perfect Crime, on the surface, may seem like just another 1950s crime comic:

Ahh, but the heat was on publishers to prove that their comics weren't inciting the non-existent massive crime wave and massive non-existent flood of juvenile delinquency. So...

But that wasn't nearly enough. At the top of every single story page, there was a little banner with an anti-crime motto...often in couplets!

But wait? If it was the perfect crime, would the police even know about it? That's how perfect it was!!

Wait...does that mean the that the police will kill all criminals? Even shoplifters?!?

Unless, of course, it's white collar crime!

But wait!! I'm reading The Perfect Crime right now!! If "there is NO perfect crime," then how could I be reading this? Wait...

Always is a pretty big word...

Again...does this mean the police will kill criminals?!?!?!?!

BUT I'M READING THE PERFECT CRIME!! HOW CAN THERE BE NO PERFECT CRIME IF I'M READING IT RIGHT NOW!?!?!?

But what if the crooks PLAN it to be imperfect, on purpose?!? Wouldn't the crime then be perfectly imperfect?!?!?

(...unless you're a white collar criminal)

Well of course, he erred in choosing crime!

BUT THIS IS THE PERFECT CRIME #27 (1952)!!!! HOW CAN YOU SAY THERE IS NO PERFECT CRIME WHEN YOU PUBLISH A COMIC CALLED THE PERFECT CRIME?!?! WHY--I--SPUTTER---BOOOOOOM!

[Editor's note--snell's head just exploded like a 1960s Star Trek computer. The end]

2 comments:

Siskoid said...

There we have it: Matt Kindt's inspiration for Mind MGMT.

Smurfswacker said...

These slogans remind me of Korean propaganda slogans. "Together We March with Supreme Leader Kim Jung-Un Toward Elimination of Perfect Crime!"