Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Island Of Annoying Sidekicks

The dedication inside the front cover of this week's Bulletproof Coffin: Disinterred ...

Oh, Doctor Smith...it is, of course, a mark of my age that I frequently wander around work moaning, "Oh, William, the pain," and none of the young punks know what the hell I'm talking about.

Of course, Zachary Smith was an incredibly obnoxious whiney useless pain in the ass--even child snell saw that, and wondered why they didn't throw the schlub out the airlock. (The real answer, of course, is that the lazy writers had no other way to generate action/conflict when all of the other characters were the noble do-gooders that the Robinsons were...)

Of course, Smith was hardly the only useless character who existed only to get the level-headed leads into trouble (there's never a shortage of lazy writers...) In my more masochistic moments, I like to imagine a series where Dr. Smith, C-3PO, Angel from the Rockford Files, and Gilligan are trapped on a deserted planetoid. Just picture the whining...

You are, of course, allowed to make further nominations to populate this sad, sad moon...

6 comments:

Stephen said...

Jan Brady. Mr. Slate. Diane Chambers. The annoying lady who lived next to Samantha and Darren. George Jetson. Frank Burns. George Jefferson. And a Predator.

I actually dig George Jefferson. But seeing Dr. Smith team up with George Jefferson to defeat a Predator out in the suburbs of the Negative Zone...that is cross-dimensional comedic gold.

ShadowWing Tronix said...

Have you learned nothing from the LAST time Gilligan was on a deserted planetoid with a bunch of other people? Never goes well. (To anyone who doesn't know, this cartoon was made.)

notintheface said...

Can we incorporate time travel and include Max from Batman Beyond in this group?

Mitchell Craig said...

My contribution to the Island of Annoying Sidekicks would include the following:
Cousin Pearl and her hermaphrodite "daughter" Jethrine. Pavel Chekhov. Wesley Crusher. Eddie Haskell. All the kids who hung out with Gamera. Mr. Spaceley. Danny Partridge. Serpentor.
Hilarity shall ensue.
THIS! I COMMAND!!

tom said...

Does anyone remember the butler, Max (?) from Hart to Hart. Definitely should be left on that planetoid...

Phillip Russell said...

I'd throw in Buddy Lembeck, Ralph Malph and *shudder* "Jeffster."

Oh, and Elmyra from Tiny Toons. *@#%ing Elmyra...