Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Daleks Were Right!!!

OK, we're going to get hyper-nerdy now (editors note: "now"?) (snell's note: shut up).

One of the more famous Doctor Who stories was...

The Dalek Invasion Of Earth. It's well known because a) many eerie scenes of Daleks marching through an abandoned London; b) The "what if the Nazis had won WWII" allegory; c) it's the first time one of the Doctor's companions left; d) it was remade into a theatrical movie starring Peter Cushing.

But it's also equally well known for it's naff science. As my friend Siskoid describes the Dalek's plot:

The Daleks' plan is revealed and it is, of course, very much absurd. They mean to empty the Earth's core, disrupt its magnetic and gravitational fields, and replace with a power source to turn the planet into a great, big (gas-guzzling) spaceship.

(BTW, Siskoid is doing a daily Doctor Who review, each episode in chronological order. Go read it, every day!)

Anyway, this is the part where I rise to the Daleks' defense, because the plan was so brilliant, it was actually implemented in the past...er, the future...er, it get confusing.

The Doctor Who story, aired in 1964, was set in 2164 (or, 2150, if you prefer the theatrical version). But let's travel backwards, to a 1952 comic book story, and go forward to the 25th century!! (Oh, my head...)

The Solar System's Space Guard has been alerted to an unusual threat:

After landing to investigate, rescuing a bikini-clad "space article writer," fighting monsters who were really holograms, and finding secret entrances, the discover:

"Outer Spacians"????? Man, this political correctness has gone way too far!!

Upon further exploration...

The world hollowed out?? Can you touch the sky?

Hollowed out the world, installed motors in it, and drove it around the cosmos, and planned to use it to conquer other planets?!?!?

In other words, 12 years before Dalek Invasion of Earth (or 3 centuries after...oh, my head), the Outer Spacians had the exact same plan!!!

The Daleks are vindicated!! The Daleks are vindicated!! We have to stop making fun of their "ridiculous" plan!! They could have used it to conquer the cosmos!! Nothing could have stopped them had they hollowed out the Erath!! Nothing!!!...


Never mind.

From Fantastic Worlds #6 (1952).

Space Epilogue:


Siskoid said...

A story I want to see: A huge engine right in the middle of Skartaris.

SallyP said...

My God, she's perky.

Lazarus Lupin said...

In defense of the daleks it's not a bad plan in someways. The problems of space travel such as radiation, gravity and supplies are neatly solved by the mass of a planet. The problem is getting that mass moving. Of course you'd probably want to relocate underground or perhaps on the rear end of your new ship. The front is going to get hit with a space junk at significant speeds. Also the defenses against radiation and such would probably be less on that side. Definitely it's a plan that needs tinkering .

Lazarus Lupin

Siskoid said...

Hey it worked for the Cybermen on Mondas.

And the Pirate Planet.