The Dangerous Lifestyle Of Comic Book Creators!!

There are some comic books that blow up your brains.

And then there's this one:

W.
T.
F?

Now, you may want to dismiss this as a "symbolic" cover, or a joke cover.

No, no, no. This is Bob Haney, folks. And this is an honest-to-God comic story about how criminals try to force Jim Aparo to draw a scene where Batman dies so he'll really die and they'll get away with their crimes.

Prepare to go the rabbit hole, kids...

Our plot, such as it is, involves Sgt. Rock teaming up with Batman to find a hijacked shipment of "M-76" rifles, which a group of masked whackos called The Thousand are using for random terror attacks to spread fear and discord.

Say what you will about Haney, but he threw out more ideas in one story than most writers come up with in a year.

Detective works leads our heroes to a locker at the bus station...

Oops, time for the artist to take a break before drawing the next panel!

You read that right: these nutters stole Haney's script, and replaced it with one where Rock and Batman died--and now they're trying to force Jim Aparo to draw it, so it will really happen!!

Fortunately, comics artists are smooth customers!

Well, there is one exit--a tiny air vent that Aparo is just small enough to fit through!!

Then...

What...? Huh?!?! Who the hell lived in an "abandoned reconditioned lighthouse"?!?!??!

But is Aparo in time to save Batman?

YES!!!

Yup, it's time for Bob Haney himself to turn up!!

That's editor Murray Boltinoff, by the way...

So, let's take a second to think about how these cosmic mechanics work. Jim Aparo draws something, and it effects Batman and Rock? But the script doesn't, not until Aparo actually draws it?!? Does that mean Aparo is God or something?? Or is only effecting stuff in Batman's comic book universe?!? But, if that's the case, then why do the Thousand in the "real" world care what happens in the comic book universe?!? But....but....but...

[Editor's Note: snell had to go get some alcohol to finish this post.]

Anyway...

Aparo keeps drawing ridiculous twists and coincidences that allow Batman and Rock to survive attacks by the Thousand:

And...

Meanwhile, prepare for your head to hurt again!

This story...this story...WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!

This is like Duck Amuck except terrorists are forcing Bugs Bunny to kill Daffy so they can....

Anyway, Boltinoff and Haney continue to talk Aparo through how to draw Batman and Rock winning...

 But then the Thousand find out where Aparo is!

So Haney tells Aparo to draw Batman and Rock rescuing him in an exciting helicopter/boat chase!

All's well that ends well!

And this explains why sometimes comics are late. Because terrorists try to make them kill their characters. Or something like that...

From The Brave And The Bold #124 (1976)