There may be some question of whether
Kid Eternity is
actually a super-hero.
After all, theoretically
everything that he does,
Mr. Keeper actually does
for him. We've seen that when Keeper feels that the Kid needs to be taken down a peg or two, he'll withdraw the powers, and stop fulfilling Kid's wishes.
Is Kid just, essentially,
a boy with a genie? Is he
helpless without his guardian angel's help? This story will start t answer that question.
First...
See, the caption tells us that the Kid is still
"changes into character" rather than
"summons character to do his bidding." But beware--the story isn't even consistent with
itself...or is it?!?
We begin, as we usually do, with our heroes lolling about doing nothing whatsoever.
Dude--
you ended his life 75 years early--I think you deserve to be worked a little hard, you know? You owe the guy!
Anyway, this issue's plot:
A fairly trite story with a gangster trying to force a lovely ingenue to sing in his club when she wants to strike out on her own. Kind of trivial, but no problem is too trivial for...Kid Eternity!!
Mr. Keeper,
jackass.
Well, even though it isn't supposed to work, Kid tries the secret word...
Yup. Somehow, instead of
D'artagnan, we get
Don Quixote! At least you're in the right area of the alphabet!!
Wait...Don Quixote
didn't know that he was attacking windmills! I call foul!!
Anyway, without Keeper's support, Kid is just a normal youth. He can dish it out...
...
but he can't take it!
We should note that, despite our opening caption, that Kid has
not become Quixote...they're clearly
separate!
Quixote isn't much help...but eventually Keeper relents:
And then we meet:
My favorite character of all time--the hat check girl so blase that she's nonplussed by a Spanish knight on horseback riding through!! Get that gal her own comic!!
Anyhoo, Kid confronts the bad guy with...
Good stuff. But please note that, suddenly...
...we're very clearly back to "
Kid becomes that character." Good gravy, where were the editors?!?!?!
And now it's time to get mythological again:
Prepare, dear reader, to witness feats of super-speed, and
super-near-nudity!!
Gaze upon
Mercury's ass!!
Gaze upon his ass!!
GAZE UPON HIS ASS, MORTALS!!
The Greek gods invented thongs. Now you know...
So everything is back to normal?
Not so fast!
OK, maybe, just
maybe, we're getting some glimmer of workable canon here. The Kid is learning to use the magic word without Keeper's help! His summons was outside "
regular channels"--that's why he got the wrong hero, and why he materialized separately from Kid!! Finally, it all makes sense!!
It won't last.
The tally after 7 stories?
| Achilles |
1 |
| Antony, Marc |
1 |
| Barry's father |
1 |
| Blackhawk |
1 |
| Columbus |
1 |
| Corbett, Jim |
1 |
| Don Quixote |
1 |
| Hercules |
1 |
| Hickok, Wild Bill |
1 |
| Holmes, Sherlock |
1 |
| Houdini |
1 |
| Jeffries, Jim |
1 |
| Leander |
1 |
| Mercury |
1 |
| Napoleon |
1 |
| Noah |
1 |
| Nobody |
1 |
| Pheidippides |
1 |
| Robin Hood |
1 |
| Samson |
1 |
| Solomon |
1 |
| Sullivan, John L. |
1 |
| Vercingetorix |
1 |
| Zbyzko, Stanislaus |
1 |
Next time: Kid summons another comic book hero, and
Merlin was a douchebag!!
From Hit Comics #31 (1944)
4 comments:
"Wh-What's happening?" Ratto's response to Mercury is pretty much my own, too.
Wait... Mercury wears a THONG?
"GAZE UPON HIS ASS, MORTALS!!"
I get so much joy from this website! And this line is up there with the tops of that joy!
It's just a shame this wasn't drawn by Gil Kane.
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