Our story starts like it usually does...with our heroes
sitting on their butts doing nothing!
But even in heaven, there's no escaping your duties...
See, apparently, one of the perks of being in the afterlife is that you get to ask
Kid Eternity to go to Earth and do favors for you! A concierge hero!!
It's good to know your ancestors care about you, isn't it?
It turns out that renowned actress
Rita Rowley is a spoiled rhymes-with-witch:
Well, Kid decides that producing a little competition for her job will make make Rita straighten up and flight right. So...
Sarah Bernhardt?!?
I wonder how many "
dishonest" parts she was offered...
Don't worry, Rita's not completely cured yet. We have 11 pages left!!
Meanwhile, in a
completely unrelated scene, a grizzled prospector is being tortured for the location of his new gold strike!
I'll spare you the pre-
Code torture sequence...
But when they go to the mine's location...
...they find out that it's where the
movie's location is!! What a remarkable coincidence!
But the prospector gets away!
Meanwhile, back in the real world, Rita still kind of a
jerk!
Again, I fully support more characters exclaiming "
Bah!"Especially 1940s actresses!
So Kid contrives to teach her another lesson, by getting them lost...
So they need the help of...
Buffalo Bill!!
Thanks, Bill!
But then Kid and
Keeper find the tortured prospector...
And because this story hasn't had nearly enough coincidences yet...
WHAT?!?!?!?
..and she's cured. The end.
No, not yet. Because meanwhile, our crooks have shanghaied the actors portraying the Native Americans in the movie...
...and are wreaking havoc, trying to drive the movie production away!
Fortunately, Kid has a cure!
Oh dear...
Obviously,
George Armstrong Custer is a figure of some controversy today, given his role in the
American Indian Wars and the disastrous "
last stand" at
Little Bighorn. Often forgotten is his status as a highly decorated and successful fighter for the
Union in the
Civil War...and he's more than enough to take out a bunch of crooks.
Uh...what
is happening? Is Custer taking prisoners, or...?
No, it's not. You beat a bunch of yahoos.
I think it's fairly safe to say that this scene wouldn't be presented today, at least not this way.
And of course, our poor director realizes:
Oh, dear...
This tale got pretty overstuffed, so they had to drop an exposition bomb near the end...
"All of our plot threads are resolved off screen!!"
And they all live happily ever after! Let's go quickly!!
Meanwhile, we haven't checked in with
Her Highness and
Silk for awhile...
Don't ever change, ladies!
After this, the
10th Kid Eternity tale, our standings are...
| Achilles |
1 |
| Antony, Marc |
1 |
| Barry's father |
1 |
| Bernhardt, Sarah |
1 |
| Blackhawk |
1 |
| Cody, “Buffalo” Bill |
1 |
| Columbus |
1 |
| Corbett, Jim |
1 |
| Custer, George Armstrong |
1 |
| Don Quixote |
1 |
| Griffiths, Albert |
1 |
| Hercules |
1 |
| Hickok, Wild Bill |
1 |
| Holmes, Sherlock |
1 |
| Houdini |
1 |
| Hyer, Tom |
1 |
| Jeffries, Jim |
1 |
| King Arthur |
1 |
| Leander |
1 |
| Mercury |
2 |
| Murphy, Charles |
1 |
| Napoleon |
1 |
| Noah |
1 |
| Nobody |
1 |
| Pheidippides |
1 |
| Plastic Man |
1 |
| Robin Hood |
1 |
| Samson |
2 |
| Solomon |
1 |
| Sullivan, John L. |
1 |
| Thurston, Howard |
1 |
| Vercingetorix |
1 |
| Washington, George |
1 |
| Zbyzko, Stanislaus |
1 |
Join us next time, as Kid Eternity goes to court!!
From Hit Comics #34 (1944)
No comments:
Post a Comment