Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Captain John Albert Hopalong Peter Marmaduke Sylvester Marvel

So, we're not supposed to call him Captain Marvel anymore. Nope, just "Shazam!" Even though DC's own cartoon series continue to refer to him as Captain Marvel.

But before we retire the Captain Marvel moniker, we should ask ourselves a very important question--what's his full name? I mean, Captain is rank, and if Marvel is his surname...well, what's the rest?

Silly question? Not according to Whiz Comics #612 (1945). Scummy insurance salesman Victor Vulcher is accosting The Big Red Cheese, trying to sell him life insurance...(advance apologies for the poor quality of the scans)

But surprisingly, Vulcher isn't alone in his curiosity, as some lawyers for the estate of recently deceased gazillionaire Winstead Marvel are seeking out his heirs...and since the Captain has the surname Marvel, they've got to check...and Vulcher sees his chance to leap in and claim his percentage of the bundle:

Marvin Milton Marvel?!?

When word gets out of "his" inheritance, Marvel is besieged by folks looking for a handout. Well, this must stop, right?

Uhh...Captain...if you don't plan on actually adopting that name, it IS a lie. Still, Captain MacGillicudy Jefferson Timothy Marvel does have a nice ring to it...

And in probate court the next day:

Captain John Albert Hopalong Peter Marmaduke Sylvester Marvel?!? I LOVE it. And that was in court, so it must count, right??

After the shenanigan, Marvel unveils the real heir, Henry Greenleaf Marvel, an impoverished rustic recluse with 16 kids (who promptly has another one after getting the money, and names him Marvin Milton Marvel)!!

So, DC, before we finally close the door on calling him Captain Marvel, can we please, just once, in continuity, refer to him as Captain John Albert Hopalong Peter Marmaduke Sylvester Marvel? Please?

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