Monday, December 27, 2010

Manic Monday--This One's From The Ladies

I've made no secret of my belief that Doctor Druid was clearly THE WORST AVENGER EVER!!

But I'm apparently not the only one who feels that way. There's a back-up feature in Avengers West Coast Annual #4 (1989) by Mark Gruenwald and Amanda Connor (!!), where-in The Wasp and She-Hulk "rate the hunkiness" of every male Avenger ever (up to that point, of course) on a 1 to 10 scale.

Yes, seriously.

Anyway, when they get to Anthony Druid, well, they're pretty darn harsh:

That's worth blowing up. Janet says:

And Jennifer adds:

Ouch. Harsh, ladies!

So, proof positive: Doctor Druid was the worst Avenger ever. Case closed.

Oh, since you're no doubt curious, here's their rankings of the other Avengers, with the Wasp's opinion denoted by a W and She-Hulk's by an S:

Thor: W 10, S 10 (Jan: "Godhunk of Thunder")
Iron Man: W 9, S 7 (but Jan knows what he looks like under the mask, Jennifer doesn't...)
Captain America: W 10, S 8 (Jan: "Human beings can't get any yummier than him")
Quicksilver: W 6, S 4 (Jan: "A real Sean Penn type")
Hawkeye: W 8, S 6 (She-Hulk: "He's got a cute tush")
Hercules: W 7, S 10 (She-Hulk: "Herc is even hunkier than Thor, and he really knows how to party!")
Black Panther: W 9, S 8 (Jan: "Talk about animal magnetism!")
Vision: W 3, S 1 (She-Hulk: "Toasters are fine, but who'd ever want to marry one?")
Black Knight: W 7, S 5 (She-Hulk: "A bit of a stiff.")
Falcon: W 7, S 5 (Jan: "He's got a subtle coolness.")
Wonder Man: W 8, S 7 (She-Hulk: "Those eyes of his really turn me off!")
Starfox: W 8, S 6 (She-Hulk: "You never know if you like him as much as you think you do, or if he's manipulating you.")
Namor: W 6, S 8 (She-Hulk: "I wish the rest of the Avengers had his taste in costumes!")
Reed Richards: W 9, S 4 (Wasp: "I've always had a thing for brainy older men who smoke pipes")
Gilgamesh: W 7, S 7 (Wasp: "He has to do something about that silly name and his taste in clothes.")
U.S. Agent: W 3, S 5 (Wasp: "There's something off about him...")
Quasar: W 6, S 6 (She-Hulk: "Younger guys may be Cher's cup of tea, but not mine.")

They don't rate the Swordsman because he's dead...they don't do Hank Pym because Jan would feel weird rating him, and ditto for Jennifer not rating her cousin the Hulk. That's everybody, so...

Hey, wait a minute!! Where the hell is Hank McCoy?? Where is the Beast!?! What, you ladies can't rate his hunkiness? Why not? What's going on here?!? Nobody better let Bully know about this egregious oversight!! (And please, no furries jokes.)

They also skip Moon Knight, but, you know, meh, I've got no problem with that...


Dan said...

As always Jan is an incorigible slut rating nearly everyone a 7 or above which, as we all know, is the sexual tipping point.

snell said...

It is interesting, because whereas Jan always has had wandering eyes, Jennifer has usually been portrayed as lustier, with many, many more actual conquests.

Sina said...

Hey, show some respect...Dr. Druid is the first official 'Marvel' superhero!

He debuted in the first publication to bear the "Marvel" logo: 'Amazing Adventures #3' in August, 1961...a full year before Spider-Man did so in the August #15 issue of the same title (after it changed its name to 'Amazing Fantasy') & three months before the Fantastic Four debuted in their own title in November of 1961 (who themselves hedged their bets with elements of science-fiction & mysticism, etc)!

Disregarding any "in-universe" timelines that establish predecessors in the comics prior to this (like WWII Black Widow or Wolverine, the ancient Eternals or Inhumans, or time-travellers, etc) as well as any other additions from previous publications (like Captain America, Namor, Human Torch from Atlas or Timely, etc), then Dr. Druid is actually Marvel Comics' very first super-hero!

He was even trained by the same guy who taught Dr. Strange!

Sina said...

Oop, I forgot to mention that his name upon first appearing was actually "Dr. Droom" 🙂 but otherwise 😁