Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Bruce Wayne--G Rated Playboy!!

OK, now that Bruce Wayne is back, it's time to make a very important point:

He's not a very good playboy.

At least not in the hand of modern writers. Take, for example, this conversation between jilted lovers girlfriends of Bruce's, from last week's Batman And Robin #18, complaining about his behavior in "relationships":

"Not before marriage"????? "That's ALWAYS the Bruce Wayne Story""??

Are you telling me, that out of all those models and actresses and debutantes and hot hot women he's dated, Bruce hasn't...ahem...finished the deal with any of them??

Of course, that's just scuttlebutt between a couple of jilted exes. But on the other hand, that's what Bruce's actual reputation is--the ladies are complaining that he's a saint instead of a sinner.

That's what a playboy is? Just dinners and maybe dancing while he looks for someone to propose to?

Man, I remember the good old days, when Bruce actually cared about his secret identity, and so made himself appear the drunken gadabout, the womanizer, the profligate. All the more to make it less likely that anyone will suspect that he is Batman.

Now? He's heading up international crime-fighting initiatives, and he's a "very principled" wait-until-after-we're-married-dear gentleman. Hell, I'll bet he doesn't even pretend to get drunk in public anymore.

And, if we're to believe Paul Cornell's story, the ladies get pretty ticked when you don't give them a "loving commitment" and become super-villains.

So get to work there, Bruce--it's your duty!!


Perplexio said...

Dick acts like more of a Playboy than Bruce-- Babs/Oracle, Starfire, Mirage (posing as Starfire without Dick realizing it), and there have been a few others over the years too. Maybe Bruce should take some "billionaire Playboy" lessons from Dick.

Matt said...

I thought it was cannon that Batman doesn't have sex. You know, it clouds the mind and all that.

Except, of course, for certain exceptions when said activities would involve black leather or daughters of would-be mentors.

Regardless, Bruce is all about the appearance of a playboy, that doesn't mean he's really living the lifestyle. Besdies, them hoes would probably sell off his deepest secrets to TMZ in a heartbeat if they thought they could garner some fame and maybe a reality show off it.

Siskoid said...

The bat-condoms would give him away.