Marvel 2005 Week--Amazing Spider-Man #523!!

So what, exactly, do you do between two widely-disliked story arcs?

A wall-to-wall action issue, that's what:

(And apparently, you also run a series of ridiculously generic covers. In 2005, the editorial mandate seemed to be, "Draw generic covers for every issue of Spider-Man, with no relation to what was going on inside")

Shortly after the much-reviled Sins Past, and immediately before the head-scratching The Other, JMS gave us several issues on Spider-Man's new life as an Avenger: hunting Hydra, moving into Avengers tower, Aunt May and Jarvis--ahem--growing "closer," yada yada. (Hey, wait a minute...so Aunt May was getting it on with a Skrull?!?!?!?!?!?) Which, for the most part, were pretty good stories.

By the way, I've never had as big a problem with Spider-Man being an Avenger as some (at least in concept). Marvel had already invested nearly 200 issues in various mags to the concept that Spider-Man teaming up with other heroes was cool, so really, was this that different?

In this issue, Spidey has infiltrated a secret Hydra base, and discovered that they're about to launch a SCUD missile filled with anthrax AND plague germs into the Ogallala aquifer (which JMS constantly misspells--shh!), rendering the middle of the U.S. pretty uninhabitable. Two types or virulent germs--because Hydra never does anything half-assed!!

Sadly, Peter Parker is discovered, and when he attempts to find cover while awaiting the Avengers cavalry, he runs into:

These goombas have been "technologically" (or "genetically," depending on which issue you read) altered to mimic the Avengers. They've been vexing Spidey and the Avengers for the past few issues, and now Parker has to face them alone. Oops.

Our creators:

It's interesting to note that JMS apparently had a Get Out Of Jail Free card when it came to the House Of M. Whereas many other series were running tie-ins in the regular books, his titles, Fantastic Four and Amazing, completely ignored the event, while the characters dealt with House Of M in spin-off miniseries handled by other hands. That wouldn't be the situation during Civil War, when JMS would have both series wallowing deeply in the events of that "event."

Anyway, this issue is all action...no Spider out of costume, no Mary Jane or Aunt May or Jarvis or Daily Bugle. So let's hit the ground running. Peter plays keep-away from the Avengers wannabes while cataloging his advantages:



So Spider-Man runs circles around them while quipping, and that's one thing I've got to say about JMS' Spider-Man in the Avengers versus Bendis' version--JMS' quipping is actually funny, most of the time.

And not to pick on Mike Deodato here...

...but what the hell is the deal with faux-Thor's nose in that panel? (Probably just a result of the "technological augmentation"...)

Not only is faux-Thor's nose really, really askew, but he's kinda dumb:



But faux-Cap gets them to work together, while simultaneously Spidey stops fighting. Wha??




Lots o' fighting ensues, much of which doesn't involve Spider-Man, so we'll skim by it, except for a good Cap moment:


Meanwhile, Spider-Man has Iron Man give him a lift as they try to stop the missile, while squeezing in some exposition:

Peter tries to hack the missile's computer. Now, I know, Peter's good at science. But wouldn't it have made more sense for Iron Man to do that, because, you know, bio-science degree versus computer genius? Result: epic fail:



Now Cap gets a cute flashback here...


...but apparently our creators never read the original story, because Bucky and a rocket? Not so much:

(Panel from flashback in the sames month's Captain America #10) From Lee/Kirby on, it's been "an experimental drone" plane, not a freaking ICBM. Oh, what the hell, it's a nice moment, let's give 'em the creative license, right?

Anyway, while travelling really high and really fast, Peter has to somehow knock out the missile's guidance systems, diverting it over the ocean...because apparently it's OK to put anthrax and plague there...screw the fish!! (Please, no science nit-picks--I know, I know, I'm just sayin')






BOOM!! The end!!

Next issue Iron Man swoops in to save him, and Parker somehow didn't become infected by the face full of death germs, but then he begins...THE OTHER.

This was a bit of an atypical issue for this section of JMS' run, an all-out action finale. Usually his issues in this era were much more "this is Peter Parker's life," and actually did a fairly good job of showing what Peter's life was like now that he's on the Avengers. That doesn't excuse Sins Past, though, and doesn't make The Other make any more sense...

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Here's what I don't get:

Now, I've got nothing against Spider-Girl. In fairness, I have really virtually zero of Tom DeFalco's MC2 stories, which is mainly a choice I've made not to invest a lot of time in a What If? series, because I have enough problems keeping one freakin' continuity in my head these days.

And I fully respect the run of, counting back-ups, over 150 issues in various incarnations. That's impressive, and full props.

No, what I want to know is--does DeFalco have blackmail photos of Joe Quesada, or what?

In an era where Marvel seems as impatient as the FOX network to cancel new series, when Atlas is announced as cancelled after only two issues, when critically well-received series like Captain Britain And MI-13 can't get saved, when Marvel invests an entire Avengers storyline in making Brother Voodoo the new Sorcerer Supreme and yet he still gets cancelled almost immediately...how did Spider-Girl hang on so long and keep coming back again and again?

Again, nothing against the series, as I'm sure it was good, and its fans seemed to really love it. But why couldn't Marvel show the same care and attention to preserving other low-selling series? At least giving them fair trials? Maybe take a loss leader on a series just because it's critically acclaimed? It's not like Marvel can't afford it...What did Spider-Girl have that they didn't?? (Aside from trademark preservation, of course...)