Thursday, June 5, 2008

Tales From the Quarter Bin--NasCubs!!

Some days, the quarter bin is like a trip to all your nightmares. Case in point:

Must..resist...gag...reflex!Ladies and gentlemen, please take a closer look at NasCubs #1 (1991):

I've never heard of these clowns before...'offical?'
And closer still:

Putting Richard Petty in here is like putting Wolverine in a marvel book...instant sales!!Well, the cover certainly doesn't lie, as we follow the incredibly cute NasCub plans to become the official mascots of Nascar by stalking Richard Petty:

Annoyingly calm in the face of Satan's minionsSo, let's meet the NasCubs!!

Safety?? I guess he should have had a talk with Dale Earnhardt Sr...
Physical fitness by driving in circles for 6 hours...
Nasacar without trash???
OK, guys, you'ree getting away from our key demographic, here...
No, drugs, just lots and lots of moonshine!!Will Richard Petty fall for the sepia-toned propaganda of cute animals who drive dangerous cars?

Apparently, Nascar uses Ye Olde Times scrolls for officail announcementsDamn, he fell for it! oh, wait, I'm supposed to be rooting FOR these demonic creatures...

Diabetics just went into comas...Watch in terror, as Nascar is assimilated by cuteness!!

No one slames a door like Richard Petty!!
Now, off to our orgy at Wonerland Ranch!Let's take one more look at those cuties!!

The abyss gazes alsoJust for the record, someone at the comic shop made a reference to the quality of the lettering in this fine title, and suggested that it tied in somehow with the alleged literacy levels of Nascar fans. But not me...I didn't say that...

2 comments:

Siskoid said...

Marketing gas fumes to the kiddies!

artrull said...

I was the artist for this comic,... haha Man, what memories this brings back... LOTS of stories. and yes they were the official mascots for one year