Hi, everybody....GAARD!!! here.
I know this Snell guy has been mocking me pretty relentlessly, and I've just got to defend myself. I certainly am NOT the lamest character ever in the Marvel Universe, and I'm doubly certain that I do not have the worst name ever.
Take, for example, Amadeus Cho. He's been getting a lot of good press lately, and GAARD!! just wants to make two points.
First of all, when a teenager keeps telling you how smart he is, he's usually not. 7th smartest person in the world?? Yeah, right.
Secondly, laugh at GARRD!! as you will, one fact is indisputable: Mastermind Excello is the STUPIDEST name for anyone, hero or villain, ever. It sounds like a new type of squeegee mop. Really. Mastermind Excello. If he really were so smart, he'd find a way to make people stop calling him that. Mastermind Excello. Snort.
And by the way, it's not a hockey stick--it's a COSMIC SCEPTRE!! Show some respect!
GAARD!! is from the inimitable Fantastic Four #163. Picture of *snort* Mastermind Excello *guffaw* is from Hulk #110.
3 comments:
Yeah, "Amadeus" has always smacked of good-old fashioned and misguided pandering to a potential new market...in this case, mostly likely the youthful anime/manga influence of the early-mid 2000's, but almost definitely some type of Asian angle.
Plus, he's such a mishmash of half-baked ideas, topical trends and over-blown "god-he's-so-amazing" idiocy that he's almost certainly a blatant avatar for whichever author or creator cooked him up.
I mean, a coyote (aww, look, he's got a puppy...he's so cute and cuddly and sensitive, I just wanna be attracted to him *right now*, *awwwwwwwwwww*. Fuck off.) named after a three-headed dog-beast from Greek mythology cutesified into a reference to comics legend Jack Kirby ("Kerberos-Kirby")? His Wikipedia picture and character design? If you're gonna run with heroes, put on a *COSTUME* for chrissakes! The Vespa scooter? Pfft, a handful of years earlier and it would've been a Segway.
And the blatant "selling" of this new talent by everyone from Mr. Fantastic to Hercules (wait, Hercules? That guy who, in Marvel lore, is portrayed as a raucous idiot and bestows the "gift of battle" upon you? *He's* telling us how amazing Mr. Excello's intelligence is?) Can you say "Hipsters are better than everyone else" as well as Amadeus and his creators can?
Even the "Amadeus" moniker is meant to call to mind the fact that Mozart was a precocious wunderkind who played concert halls at age 4 and wrote symphonies at age 6, etc. nevermind that the only ones that people *listen to* and are considered any *good* are his last three, which he virtually wrote on his deathbead, lol.
I can only hope that Mr. Excello here (why did he name himself after the soap company that "discovered" him, and whose owner subsequently killed his family and burned his house down and sent him on the run? I smell evil-genius-of-the-future in the making at work here...) will follow his namesake Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (get it? "Wolf gang"? A pack of wolves? That's why he picked up a stray wolf...I mean, "coyote"? Ahh, the mishmash of ideas is endless) and die *well* before his time, probably just before he starts to actually become, y'know...good.
Plus, is he too far removed for the "Asians are good at math" stereotype to be applied here? Or is that part of the joke? :P
Blimey, I never realised AC was meant to be Asian-American.
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