Yeah, Zuul only knows how making this my "first" comic would have changed things. Yes, your eyes don't deceive you...that's the Thing, in hyper space, fighting a hockey goalie named "Gaard." Dressed in a bright red and yellow uniform that would have embarrassed even a WHA player. And, SPOILER ALERT: Gaard is really Johnny Storm...the Johnny Storm of Earth-A (yup, the Earth A recently so important in She-Hulk #21, were Reed Richards is the Thing, and that world's only super-being).
And in virtually every way that FF#170 was great (to me, at least), #163 was awful. Aside from the ridiculousness of Gaard (man, it's painful to type that), we have:
*an incredibly convoluted wrap-up to a ridiculously convoluted arc, involving Arkon trying to cause nuclear war on three different dimensional worlds so the resultant energy would somehow power his own. With everybody jumping between worlds and the goofiest pseudo-science imaginable, this is the type of issue that is incomprehensible not just to newcomers. After 32 years *I* can't make sense of it.
*Rich Buckler's pencils are flat and unimpressive, rescued somewhat by Joe Sinnot's inks.
*Unlike Power Man and Puppet Master, Arkon and Gaard make a particularly unimpressive villain combo.
*They're playing HOCKEY in HYPERSPACE!!!
Thus are the whims of fate. If this were the first issue of the FF I picked up, I likely wouldn't have been hooked. Maybe I wouldn't have even gotten hooked on comics in general.
Or maybe i would have become a hockey fan...GAARD!!!!!!!
Staggeringly lame cover from Fantastic Four #163. Let the word go out...from now on GAARD shall always appear in all caps and boldface. GAARD!!!!!!!!! Did I mention he was a hockey goalie in hyper-space???
No comments:
Post a Comment