Friday, February 17, 2012

J Jonah Jameson Obviously Read This Story

A fancy new crook, Dapper Don Dolan, has come to Keystone City, looking to drain these yokels dry.

But what about the Flash, you ask? Well, Dapper Don has a plan...

Well, Dapper is a little ahead of his time, what with his negative campaigning scheme. But since he can't blanket the airwaves with attack ads, how will he get his message out?

"A certain restaurant"?? Hey, Gardner Fox, since this is a fictional restaurant in a fictional city, why be so coy about the name? It's not like they're going to sue you!! Just make up a name...

So, only one single person stands between my favorite print magazine and the mob suborning its whole contents AND shipping it out? If I had known breaking into publishing was that easy, I might not be blogging right now.

And what, exactly, did Dapper Don send out to the teeming masses? Why, it's a J. Jonah Jameson special!!

Clamor magazine? Isn't that the one that got George Costanza into trouble?

Well, girlfriend Joan brings Jay Garrick the magazine, but...

Too busy to read. Oh, I mourn for our sad culture.

Anyway, Joan narrates the calumny:





Well, that was...special. And it does have all the credibility of a Daily Bugle editorial. The good citizens of Keystone aren't fooled for a nanosecond:

So...Dapper Don's plan is a complete failure, right? Uh, no...because Jay Garrick is no Peter Parker!



Yes, it's true...the Golden Age Flash is so thin-skinned, one unfavorable press piece is enough to make him quit in a huff...


J. Jonah Jameson is soooo jealous...

Given the public reception of super-heroes in the nu52, I guess it's just as well Jay Garrick didn't get translated over to the new continuity, because he would get more than one negative review there, let me tell you...

But at least he has a new hobby:


Awww, they're kinda cute.

Don't worry, kiddies...it only took 32 more pages, a mysterious new mystery man who was really 3 different people, an evil genie, super-hypnotism, 12 unlikely coincidences, 3 cases of villains framing heroes, and an official apology...but Jay Garrick resumed the Flash mantle!! What a hero!

From All-Flash #13 (1944), as reprinted in 100-Page Super Spectacular #22 (1973)

4 comments:

Dougie said...

I bought that issue on ebay last winter (over thirty years after originally owning it) and I STILL can't tell you what happens in that story. I did notice how contemporary the theme is as an adult but lordy, the execution is dull!

Steve Does Comics said...

Hooray! I had that 100 page spectacular when I was a kid. I've not read it since, but maintain fond memories of it.

SallyP said...

I have to admit that Jay is my favorite Flash, but he is being just a tad overwrought here. On the other hand, maybe he just wanted to whittle, and couldn't think of a reasonable explanation?

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