Cough, cough...what the
hell was that? That was some kinda explosion. Where am I?
Oh, look, the smoke is clearing. What's that ahead??
Hey, that's
not a
Marvel comic, and it's
definitely not
1981!!
Looks like the
Wayback Machine had a
little hiccup, and left me stranded back in
1941, 70 years ago, in the early days of the
Golden Age!!
Well, it looks like I'm going to be stuck here for awhile, so we might as well make do, and declare this
Fawcett 1941 Week!! At least until I can get the damned Wayback Machine fixed...
A couple of comments about the cover of
Whiz Comics #19 (1941)--while that is indeed a
great cover, it is one of the
lyingist covers ever.
Captain Marvel does
not fight a shark, and is
never underwater. There is
no underwater jungle girl. Hell, not a
single scene in any of the stories in this book take place underwater!! Lies, lies and lies!! Still, it
is a pretty cool cover.
Let's start with the lead story in this book, starring the
Big Red Cheese himself!!
This was pretty typical of
Fawcett in the day--no full page splash pages to lead off stories, just half page panels to (re)introduce the story's concept. And in Captain Marvel stories, we usually got an inset of
Billy Batson giving us the story's moral in advance. Thank, Billy.
We start with Billy, in mid-sentence, on the air:
WHIZ--
the radio station that puts a ten-year old on the air to editorialize about black magic to a nationwide radio audience!!! Golden Age, folks!!
Of course, given that Billy's
own powers are derived from magic and given to him
by a wizard, maybe he shouldn't be so damn
cavalier in dismissing black magic. And I'm not the only one a bit nonplussed by this broadcast:
"
Live almost as they did 300 years ago," except for the radio and electricity and organized crime and...
Anyway, the back hills
Black Magician and his son
Nip (
?) decide to teach Billy a lesson:
Yes, putting him in a bag and throwing him in the river will teach him that black magic exists.
Huh???
As you see, Billy says his magic word, and he makes short work of the rustics. But they're not giving up, and the dad uses a magic potion to make:
He has the power to
magically create money--and decides to use it to
hire goons to beat up Billy Batson. Oh, my brain...
Well, that plan doesn't work, either, so while dad putters around with some more spells, Nip decides to spy on Billy, using his...his...
Somehow, the terror of a flying stick doesn't deter Captain Marvel:
"
Dried-up package of rat poison"???
So, Billy reveals his secret identity to Nip, just because Nip taunted him for being a bully?? No wisdom of
Solomon there, guys.
Meanwhile, dad has found a
helpful spell:
Yes, a spell to make a voodoo doll--
we already knew Satan specialized in those! And how do you use that to keep Billy from shouting
Shazam?
Cheese? Well,
it works!
Fortunately, the Back Hills Black Magician learns a lesson that all wizards must learn:
don't trust cats!!
But somethings different, because when Billy yells his magic word...
Mini-Marvel?!?!?
Yup, the magic spell worked too well, so now there's a regular Marvel
and a voodoo doll Marvel, both ready to kick some ass!
Sadly, when Marvel throws the spell book in the fire...
Damn!! I had a whole spin-off series ready to go for the
Tiny Red Cheese!!
But wait--the rubes
know your secret identity!! And they can use
magic to escape from jail!!
Oh, don't worry:
Nice to know that Fawcett's own
Arkham has a
convenient drop-off door: no legal process, no psychiatric evaluation--just drop 'em off and we'll lock 'em up for you, no questions asked!!
And back at WHIZ, the station too cheap to buy chairs for the on air talent:
Wait a minute, Billy...just yesterday you were assuring your audience there was no black magic, and now you're relating "real" stories about it?!? Do you have any idea about what you're doing to the credibility of the press??
We'll take a little break here, because, damn, these Golden Age comics were
LONG!!! We're only 11 pages in to 64 pages of madness!! Tune in later today for more from Whiz Comics #19!!
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