Rhyme? No Reason

A humble request to all DC editors/writers:

Can we PLEASE stop having Etrigan talk in verse??

When Alan Moore first made Etrigan speak in rhyme in Swamp Thing, it was because he had been promoted to the rank of Rhymer. The implication, obviously, that it was not a permanent condition.

But people seem to have forgotten about that. Despite the fact that Etrigan has been raised (and lowered) from that rank many, many times since, writers still have him speak in verse. They've made a trait that was intrinsic to the rank instead intrinsic to the character, no matter what rank he holds.

In other words, they've taken a cute, one-off idea and turned it into a permanent character trait, even though that no longer makes sense.

(Aside: if we really want to explore the idea, we could find out that other ranks in Hell include Punster, Spoonerism Guy, and Alliterationer. Of course, the question of why demons should signify themselves by speaking exclusively in certain English language literary devices is still unexplained...go ask Alan Moore)

The most important reason, though, to stop having Etrigan speak in verse, not to put too delicate a point on it, is that...

MOST OF YOUR WRITERS ARE SIMPLY NOT VERY GOOD AT WRITING VERSE.

There, I said it. I'm not naming names or pointing fingers. But the vast, vast majority of the Demon's dialogue in the past 30 years has been painful to read. The crappy doggerel that passes for Etrigan's verse is distracting as you wait for the other shoe of the rhyme to drop, it usually ruins the flow of the comic, and, well, just it plain sucks.

I can't count the number of times I've been reading a DC comic, Etrigan shows up, and I sigh deeply and have to steel myself to continue, to will myself through the turgid, tortured and terrible word balloons to follow.

So please, DC, stop. Etrigan is potentially great character in the right hands, if only you'd stop forcing writers to slavishly follow one sentence from a 30-year-old comic book that no longer applies.

Thank you for your attention.