Friday, August 31, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Wait, Adam Was A Time Lord?!?!?

Strap yourselves in kiddies, because the latest Kid Eternity text piece takes us...



 Some thoughts after page 1:

A) Now, this story is in the exact same story as the tale we covered last time--Kid Eternity tangling with prehistoric creatures and cavemen.

Granted, this one is easily distinguishable, as it involves time travel, and not shepherding a dumb explorer. Still, at the very least this is an editing failure, right? Why not run this piece in another issue, or in the Kid Eternity comic? Perhaps a sign that the text pieces were more of an afterthought than anything else...?

B) After my kvetching about it taking forever for Kid to get involved in these text pieces, BOOM--Kid and Keeper are right there in the first paragraph.

But in keeping with the apparent limitations of the format, there's little time for developing guest stars, or Kid interacting much with any human cast. Heck, it takes a full half page just to get to the "hey, let's do this" stage.

C) Of course if you were a kid with powers over time and space, you'd want to travel back to prehistoric times!! It's pretty obvious!!

And bonus points to the story for being less scientifically illiterate than other of the genre. No cavemen cavorting with dinosaurs here!! And I really wish this story were illustrated, just to see Kid getting treed by an elephant-sized ground sloth!!

On to page 2, were things get very, very weird:


Wait, wait, wait.

Let's start with the minor thing--Kid shouldn't be that awed by our primitive ancestors, as he's summoned cavemen twice before.

Nice descriptions of the "strange man-like creatures," though.

And then came the part that rocks the series to its theological foundations!

Adam!! Yes, THAT Adam!!

So, wait...Adam "regenerates"?? He's a Time Lord?!?!

Doctor Who jokes aside, what the hell does that even mean? "I have gone through many regenerations, as all mankind has..."

Does that mean Adam used to look like these cavemen? But now he "looks modern"?? Does he "change" whenever humanity does? In, say 4258, would Adam have a big head and atrophied limbs? Could Kid have summoned a different version of Adam?!?!

All of which is just dancing around the big question: is this story actually embracing both the Genesis story of creation and evolution?!? Is it actually saying that when man was created, they were "man-like troglodytes?" Or did God (or whoever is in charge of this Eternity business) pull a Celestials, and elevate a pre-existing race of creatures ("the forerunners of the human race") into "modern" homo sapiens?

And if Adam is "modern," why do the cavemen listen to him, or recognize him? Why don't they treat him like they did Kid Eternity?

Man, that's a lot of heavy thought for a throwaway two-pager!!

Staggering theological implications aside, this was the 53rd Kid Eternity story, and the standings are:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 2
de Bergerac, Cyrano 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 3
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 1
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Mercury 4
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 2
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Steinmetz, Charles 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 2
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--The only good reporter is a DEAD reporter!!

From Hit Comics #51 (1948)

No comments: