Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Worth A Thousand Pictures?

Well, I warned you this was coming:


As we've discussed before, back in the day postal regulations required comics to have at least two pages of editorial (i.e. non-advertising) text per issue, in order to qualify for favorable mailing rates for subscription purposes. It was later lowered to one, and then more or less eliminated.

It always seemed silly to me, a bit of requiring "Voltaire on the flyleaf" to give comic books enough "literary merit" so the Post Office would deign to ship the grubby things.

Still, publishers must have sold enough subscriptions, even in the early days, to justify the practice, because almost every Golden Age comic had those text pages. And why not? Subscriptions meant getting money in advance for comics that hadn't been created yet, no doubt a big help to the cash flow of some publishers.

Of course, eventually publication figured out that letters pages and/or company news would pass muster, and require considerably less work. But before then, they all had someone actually writing one or two page stories to print in their comics books.

The vast majority of these are uncredited, and given the quality, they almost always seemed like afterthoughts. Some were surely done by regular writers, but given the...ahem...poor quality of a lot of them, many were likely assigned to gofers or interns or the publisher's nephew or someone who walked in off the street at the last minute.

Not all were anonymous...most famously, Stan Lee's first published work was the text story in Captain America Comics #3--it was the first story that had Cap throwing his shield as a weapon!! And not all were terrible. I've always thought someone with more time or attention span than I should go through all the old public domain comics and print up a collection of hidden gems of these comic book text pieces/ Hello, Fantagraphics or IDW/Yoe books--are you listening?

As to this particular Kid Eternity story...it's not too bad. The lack of pictures makes it pretty apparent that it's written for a lower reading level, something the excitement of pictures might hide. And do we really need 5 paragraphs recapping Kid's origin/situation/powers?

But Paul Bunyan is actually presented in a fairly exciting manner, and his stunts are fun. It's certainly not the worst Kid Eternity story out there.

That leaves the question--should it be considered "canonical?"

To which my response is, why not? It's not, for example, a separate publication, like many a super-hero novel. It's right here, in a comic titled Kid Eternity. The title of the piece, "Paul Bunyan Returns," can surely be taken to refer to the previous times Kid has summoned the big lumberjack. And there's nothing here that can be said to contradict anything that Kid did in a story with pictures. It's not like Kid's creators were careful with consistency or continuity in those days, anyway.

So, yeah, these text stories "count."

Paul Bunyan is our only summons in this story, and it is his third appearance, moving him into a tie for second place. There's a lot of that going around lately.

This was the 48th Kid Eternity story, and our standings are thus:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Antony, Marc 2
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 2
de Bergerac, Cyrano 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 1
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 3
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houdini 2
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 1
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Mercury 4
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 2
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 2
Rogers' Rangers 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 1
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT: The body count continues to grow!!

From Kid Eternity #8 (1947)

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