In celebration of my 100th post, I thought I'd share with you, the reader, some of the highlights of this blog's most excellent history. Sadly, various moves and server crashes over the decades have wiped out some of the original posts, so I can't link directly to them, but I do have many of them saved on my hard drive. So let's revisit history, shall we?
One of my very first posts was back in November of 1939...let's see how accurate I was in hindsight:
Oh, just wonderful. This scene, from the just published Detective Comics #33, has completely ruined the character of Batman for me. We had the perfect hero, an avenger of the night, a dark force to take on evil. And now they had to go and give him an origin (why??)--and they made him a whiny scared little boy!! Way to go, DC publications!! Now, whenever I see the Caped Crusader, I'll just be thinking of a scared little boy! I'm certain you've turned off a majority of your readers with this little stunt to "humanize" your hero. Bah!!
Well, maybe I'm being just a little bit harsh. It's not as if they suddenly had you adopt some orphan and make him a junior crime-fighter, after all....
Hmmm, maybe I wasn't so accurate with that one...let's jump forward a few years, to November 1961, and my take on a newcomer to the comics field:
OK, I'm not sure what I just read here. Apparently, monster comic publisher Timely wants to join the big leagues. Well, they're clearly not ready.
I mean, look at this mess!! They have a superhero "team"...and no costumes? They fight with each other all the time? The girl--who is certainly no Wonder Woman!!--has the power to turn invisible?!?! Ooh, scary. The big dumb guy--he was a test pilot?? Really??--is made out of rocks and keeps trying to beat up his best friend? The "Human Torch" is a rip-off off the greatest character ever, who fought the Nazis and flew to Jupiter and back once...they stole his name and powers and gave them to a Snapper Carr clone, for heaven's sake!!
And--get this--they try to make the villain seem sympathetic!! Hello, he's a villain!! He's evil!! Who needs to give him "motivation"--what is this, "Method comic writing?" How they snuck this by the Comic Code I'll never understand.
As loathe as I am to be negative, or leap to snap judgements, but I think I can safely say we've seen enough. I'd advise all my readers not to invest their hard-earned dimes on this thing, as it will never be valuable. If this is the best this "Stan Lee" and "Jack Kirby" have to offer, than it's obvious that DC will continue to dominate the Silver Age market. Go back to Groot and Fin Fang Foom, Timely!!
I think history has proven me right on that one...Let's leap forward a couple of more years, to April 1964. This post provoked a minor firestorm on the Internet...
You know, you really have to give "Marvel" some credit for trying new things, but sometimes that credit isn't enough to overcome a real piece of dreck. Like the cover above.
Now, is that, or is that not, the worst cover of all time? I mean really. I'm sure my friend Mark at Comic Coverage will be featuring it soon on his blog. It really is just terrible. Only a blind man could have drawn something so hideous...
Not as terrible as the hero's costume, though. Sheesh. How much uglier can it be? Answer: not much.
It's like Marvel doesn't get it--you only have 1 shot at a first issue!! It's not like you can later give the character a new costume, or restart the series with a new issue #1!! These things are locked in stone, and now you're stuck with a dumb character in a hideous costume with a terrible cover.
Did I say dumb character? C'mon, Stan Lee--everybody knows a blind person can't be a superhero. Why not? BECAUSE HE'S BLIND. Duh. What next, you'll get him a super-powered guide dog? Team him with Helen Keller?
Here's how lame the "hero" is. This is who he fights the first issue:
Oooh, good job, blind hero!! Way to take down that "beefy, overweight" guy--they had to give you a villain who couldn't even run away from you without having a freakin' heart attack!! Then again, who else could a blind person catch? What's next--having him hunt down cripples and mental defectives??
I never thought I'd say this--but I guarantee you that Ant-Man will have a longer career than Daredevil!!
OK, you've got to admit, I was right about the cover and the costume, eh?
Well, I'll save more flashbacks for future anniversary posts. I'll just leave you a couple of links to surviving blog entries:
*The funniest joke I ever did, even though no one laughed.
*The best panel ever, featuring the most grievous misuse of Jimmy Olsen's signal watch EVER.
*The BEST response in a letter column EVER.
*The sexiest picture of Superman, ever.
So one and all, thank you for your support, and I'll try to be entertaining and opinionated and annoying for a few hundred posts more. Goodnight, everybody!!
3 comments:
Gratz on hitting a hunnert, Monstro.
What did you think of the way DC totally betrayed their Super-Man character's background by giving him the power to fly instead of leap? Gah, so betray-ey.
"Now, is that, or is that not, the worst cover of all time? I mean really. I'm sure my friend Mark at Comic Coverage will be featuring it soon on his blog. "
Gaahhh! I'll definitely be featuring it one of these days! I'd always been aware of the cover, but had never realized how insanely bad the layout was until you pointed it out. Yick!
Congratulations on reaching 100 posts! You're definitely one of the most entertaining comic blogs out there!
Congratulations on hitting 100 posts! Now I have to come up with a new title for my 100th post, coming in a few days! (Actually, I just realized I was about to hit 100, too.)
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