Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Female Heroes Have A Special Responsi---OOOH, That Dress Is Adorable!!

Some days, I'm stumped for what to blog about...I have to search and hunt and stay up late & end up being tardy for work. Oh, comics never let me down, but sometimes I really have to work for it.

And then there are the times that something just falls in my lap:

A story so perfect, it almost literally writes itself:

Of course, that puts even more pressure on me...if it's such a perfect topic, well, than any deficiencies in the post are entirely due to me.

So I've got to suck it up, reach down deep, put on my lucky blogging shirt, and try to do justice to:

Fasten your seatbelts, kids...

Supergirl has just rescued the two most famous movie stars in the world from a disastrous on-set accident. But she's not the one getting all the attention...

Oh, Kara...such jealousy ill becomes you...

Supergirl no more?

Kal-El hears of this, and give Kara the "with great power comes great responsibility" speech:

But she's having none of it!! Plus, she calls out Clark's sexuality!!

"Why...uh...ulp..I--I'm very fond of girls...I...uh..." Holy crap, Superman!! Now we know why you hang around Batman and Robin so much in this era...

So you tell your parents you're dropping out of school, and they pay to send you to Europe for a year?!? Girl, you don't know how lucky you are!!

And I like the way farmboy Kent refers to "P-Paris" like it's Mos Eisley.

Well, Superman runs off to Wonder Woman for help...and Diana is ticked off, too:

Man, Haney is sure writing Supes as a tongue-tied dufus here...

So Wonder Woman flies off to Paris to give Kara the "female psychology" version of the "great power/great responsibility" speech. But what does she find?

Supergirl...a supermodel?!?

And surrounded by the men-folk!!

And Wonder Woman really needs to learn how to knock...

"Glamorpuss playgirl"?!? Gigolo?!? (You can say gigolo in a Code-approved book??)

And thus beginneth the lecture:

Ah, but wait for it...

"But--your powers...they make you different--they...OOOH!...That dress--it's adorable! Where'd you get it?"

Announcement: I really, really hope this line of dialogue is in Superman Vs. Batman.

Please, let's continue to make Princess Diana an air-headed fool:

OMG...Now THAT is the dialogue I hope they save for the Diana's solo movie!

Now, let me assure you, dear readers--the is no "out" for this situation. This is not a dream, not a hoax, not an imaginary story. There is no kryptonite involved. There is no magic spell, no Mxyzptlk, no gods of love, no enchanted centaurs. There is no emotional control--no Dr. Psycho or Psycho-Pirate or Psycho-Man. No shapeshifters or body doubles or body switching or characters wearing masks. No love potions. Nothing. No outside influence or "clever" plan to fool a villain or ANYTHING.

No, what you see here is exactly what you get: Put Wonder Woman in an adorable dress and have her kissed by a pushy Frenchman, and boom--she's swept off her feet, and gives up being Wonder Woman.

I suppose we must ask the question--"Steve Trevor never kissed me like that!"?? Does that mean Steve was a poor kisser? That would explain an awful lot, actually. Or is Count Andre that much better a kisser?? Is that the first time Diana has received a French kiss? (Sorry).

So now we've reached the point where both Supergirl and Wonder Woman have given up super-heroics in order to pursue glamor and romance...and we're not even 1/3 of the way into the issue yet!!

Well, long story short, both couples independently decide to go for a lovestruck vacation to the Ile D'Amour. Unfortunately, that's where the single worst villain in the history of ever--Multi-Face--has his secret base, and he is ready to launch "Operation Armageddon." Which consists of hijacking "rocket freighters," which are carrying gold "at super-speed from country to country," with a giant magnet. Not very Armageddon-like.

Look, I told you he was lame. Let us never speak of him again!!

Anyhoo, after a never-ending series of crises threatening their beaus, the ladies stop the villain...but they realize:

So DC's rule against super-hero romances (excepting, of course, Superman/Wonder Woman) is nothing new!! The women both tell us that being a super-heroine and romance don't mix!!

Oh, Bob Haney, the lessons you teach us!

And Steve Trevor--learn how to kiss, man!!

The Brave And The Bold #63 is from 1965


George Chambers said...

I also remember this as the story where Supergirl blocks Kryptonite radiation with gold, rather than lead - something which never happens again, because, well, you know, Bob Haney...

SallyP said...


Why those silly silly wimmens!