Manic Monday--Lose Weight The Bond Villain Way!!

You know what we need?

Another comic book ad pitching weight loss!!

Then again, this guy looks pretty trustworthy:

Come on, people...he has a clipboard!! He must be a reputable scientist with a foolproof way to tighten up your figure!! CLIPBOARD!

So, what's our key to thinness?

"Trimsometric"?? Trimsometric?? Oh, come on now...they're just taking a term in popular usage--isometrics--and stuck "trim" in front of it!!

Still, maybe there's something to this "Swedish Sauna Creme"??

Well, there you go...that makes all the difference!!

OK, then, let's take a look at these trimsometic spa suits:

Holy Hannah!! That looks like something Dr. Evil would make a captured super-spy wear!

Anyway, I should note--if you looked like those models and could fit into those suits, you wouldn't need them. Allow me to also note, if you peruse the order form below, there's nowhere to specify size or gender, so I suspect that the actual trimsometric suit ain't gonna look quite like that drawing.

Also, "firm bust" and "derriere?" You're allowed to say that in a 1970s Code-approved book?

Anyhoo, this suit is, apparently, the absolute height of affordable luxury:

As to how to use the suit and sauna creme? Well, the directions seem shockingly loose and non-specific:

"If you like?" "Whenever and wherever you like?" "It's up to you!"??? I begin to doubt the science behind this concept...

Still it must have worked, because by the end of 1973, obesity became a thing of the past...

From Haunted Love #1 (1973)