I Promise To Make No Prince Fielder Jokes This Post

You what we all need to learn more about?

Special athletic undergarments for fat kids, that's what we need to learn about!

Tubby not only looks funny, he's also apparently unfamiliar with the concept of sliding!

But Tubby is feeling the effects of being...well, tubby:

Fortunately, his unnamed teammate has some swell advice:


"Action-ized "?? Well, it rhymes with "slenderize," so I guess it make sense!

And so...

Chicks dig thin guys!! And yes, little known fact: wearing a girdle can make you run faster!

"Detachable crotch piece"??? "Detachable crotch piece"?!?!?!?!?!?!

So...someone in the returns department has to process all of these athletic girdles that fat kids have been sweating up for 10 days? Ewwwwwwwww.......

Of course, for all that talk of "send no money" and "on approval," the actual mail-in form tells a very different story:
Ahh, so now it's "I pay $1.98 up front, and then have to wait for a refund"? I smell a false advertising lawsuit here.

But at least I can order EXTRA detachable crotch pieces!! 3 for $2?? Who could pass that up???

Of course, this ad is pointless today, because modern medicine and nutrition have completely eliminated any ballplayers who might be considered "tubby"...

Damn it!! OK, I almost made it all the way through without a Prince Fielder joke...maybe next time.

Ad from Tim Tyler Cowboy #17 (1950).