Tony Stark, that's who I don't like!Seriously. I know that the events of Civil War brought it to a head for most people. But more and more I find that, as I look back at any era, Tony Stark in just a smug, unlikable bastard. He can take storylines that Peter Parker can make work just fine, and ruin them with his preening ego and self-indulgent self-pity. Take this story, for example:
OK, we're coming in on the the middle of something here. This is the denouement of a story featuring Iron Man, Daredevil (?), Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D., and Madame Masque, versus Zodiac and Spymaster and the Brotherhood Of The Ankh. The story ran through the last couple of issues of Iron Man and Daredevil, and you might be asking, why Daredevil?
Because Gerry Conway was writing both Iron Man and Daredevil at the time, that's why!Anyway, all the heroes and villains have been returned home from some mysterious dimension, with no possibility of actually accomplishing anything. So, there's no use in doing anything except:
Nope, it's time for a long, gratuitous fight scene!! Most of which I've omitted for you, with the exception of...
...Nick Fury's hip lingo!! Wahoo!!Meanwhile, Spymaster is getting away, something that doesn't sit well with Iron Man, since the master of espionage put Jasper Sitwell in a coma.
But Shellhead is easily distracted by threats to civilians, so:
And the Spymaster skulks away...
You know, Conway obviously had some plans for Spymaster's secret identity, but nothing ever came of it...when he "died" 16 years later, his identity had still hadn't to be revealed. And when we learned that he had merely "faked his death" (yeah, as if) during Dark Reign, we still never learned his alter ego...and then he faked his death again!!Now that the battle is over, Madame Masque (who doesn't know at this point that Iron Man is Tony Stark) turns the the Golden Avenger for some relationship advice:
Sadly, the fact there is a woman in the world who doesn't want him sends Tony spinning off into a ridiculous existential crisis:
And now, it's time for the grand Stark declaration:
"The new, improved playboy-industrialist"??? "Tony Stark comes alive"?? Oh, dear whatever could that be?Well, the first thing he does is take a leave of absence as Stark CEO. He's going to enjoys the fruits of his wealth!
Yes, running a Fortune 500 company and being a super-hero was adolescent, while quitting your job to live a life of luxury and sloth is apparently all grown up. Oh, Tony, you douche...Still, there's one good reason to get back into the swinging lifestyle:
Because Don Heck can draw the ladies!!Ah, but Tony's new, mature lifestyle of the rich and selfish is destined to be short-lived, because arriving from the depths of space:
Ramrod is dormar spelled backwards. I just wanted to note that.Well, as Ramrod sets about leveling New York and killing cops, poor poor Tony broods about how unfair his life is:
Oh, shut the hell up!! You're making the Silver Surfer look stoic!!But wait, there's more!
Man oh man, and I thought Peter Parker could whine about his lot. But, apparently, the life of a billionaire is just unendurable angst.Now, you'd think that an invasion from space would interrupt Stark's pity party (which, by the way, would be a GREAT name for a band--Stark's Pity Party!). And you'd be right...
...for all of two panels. Because as Tony sets about placing explosives all over Ramrod, he can't even focus on the task at hand--he still has to devote every single thought balloon to his poor-little-rich-boy concerns:
But maybe Iron man should have been focusing more on the task at hand, because:
For a full 15 minutes they're trapped underground, buried by tons and tons and tons of rubble. But...
Hold that thought!
Now, remember how, in the early days, every single damned story would have Tony Stark's poor damaged heart threatening to quit at least once? Supposedly, this new transplanted heart was supposed to end that.What, and give up such a keen, infinitely reusable plot device? I think not!
And Ramrod gives us perhaps the perfect epitaph for Tony Stark"
"His lips were wont of control." Priceless!!
Spoiler alert: Iron Man survives. And no, it's not that Wrecking Crew in the next issue.So, Tony Stark: a self-pitying, whiny, arrogant jerk in any era. God, I hate that guy.
ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:
Speaking of Gerry Conway writing stories with Nick Fury in them:
Even though he was only 18, Conway was the regular writer on Iron Man and Daredevil, and he was doing many a guest stints like this one. And, as I mentioned elsewhere, within a couple of years he'd be writing Thor, Amazing Spider-Man and Fantastic Four.You know, my guidance counselor never told me I could be writing comic books right out of high school...
4 comments:
Ramrod vs. Ironman sounds like 1972 Greenwich Village. So does a lot of the dialog in that comic. Man, that's a lot of subtext.
Yeah, Tony was a bit of a jerk...but that's one of the reasons I love Marvel Comics of that era. Marvel's whole schtick was heroes with hang-ups...which entailed both outside factors (money problems, jerky family/friends/teammates, negative public opinion, etc) and internal problems (lack of confidence, guilt, arrogance, self-pity, etc)....regardless of their abilities or social station.
Sure, Tony could have been flawless good-guy....but then a "DC Comics" logo would've appeared on each issue's cover instead of the "Marvel Comics Group" banner. Everyone at every level worries about stuff...and I think it's kinda cool that Tony Stark, despite all his money, influence, and power (in many senses of that word), was still brought down by various problems and personality flaws.
Did they go a little crazy on the melodramatic dialogue? Oh, absolutely....but at the same time, Marvel's tendency to marinade in emotion was immensely more entertaining than DC's rather emotionally inert stuff of that era. Then again, one could make the case that Denny O'Neil's whine-soaked early-70's run on Green Lantern made the kvetching heroes of Marvel look like bastions of emotional stability.
Mark, I'm with you, but Tony Stark was a bridge to far for me. (Then again, given how I criticized Conway for the excessive amount of mopiness he injected Peter Parker with during his Spider-Man run, I'll concede that maybe it's just as much an aversion to young Conway's style as to Stark in general).
I never wanted Tony to be a flawless good guy...I just wanted him to stop whining for 5 seconds. Honestly, if I had reprinted the entire story, you would see that literally every single panel Stark was in was filled with his self-pity and self-pathos, to the point where he couldn't even really pay attention the the villain he was fighting.
See, here's the thing...
If your high school guidance counselor had to tell you - you couldn't.
Sucks, huh?
Post a Comment