Sunday, May 31, 2009

Golden Age Idol--Golden Arrow!

I know what you're going to say...there are already too damn many bow & arrow characters--why should we revive yet another one? Marvel has Hawkeye (along with faux-Hawkeye Bullseye) and the Squadron Supreme's Golden Archer. DC has Green Arrow and two Speedy's and Merlyn and The Spider and heaven knows who else. And Image has Shaft. And don't forget Robin Hood, and William Tell.

Damn, there are a lot of archers out there. Why do we find them so fascinating?

Anyway, you're now saying, it's clear that we don't need yet another bow & arrow character. So why should we revive a really obscure one from the Golden Age that nobody remembers??

First of all, as near as I can tell, Golden Arrow was the very first comic book archer hero, debuting in Whiz Comics #2 (really #1...don't ask) back in February 1940. He beat Green Arrow by a year and a half. He beat the Spider by six months (and why, exactly, you have a characters whose main skill is archery call himself the Spider is beyond me). He beat Hawkeye by 20 some years. Golden Arrow is the pioneer of the genre, but he's sadly forgotten today.

The second reason is--Golden Arrow has the greatest damn origin story of any of them. Hands down. No "stranded on a desert island and had to learn archery." No "I was a carny." Nope, we've got an honest-to-gosh, actual nutsy Golden Age origin.

So sit back, relax, and see why the world needs:

Theme song by ABCIt starts, as it always does, with Golden Age Science:

Non-inflammable is technically correct, actuallyAnd the best part of Golden Age Science, as always, are the controlled experiments:

The beginning of the military industrial complexAnd not only has he developed fizzy lifting drinks, but conveniently:

SPOILER ALERT--we never find out what the secret maneuvering device is. Sorry.Ah, yes, the secret steering device. Of course.

Famous last words:

Nothing could possibly go wrong!!Seriously, what could be the risk of a highly publicized outdoors test of a secret formula worth millions??

Dude, I seriously question that appraisal...That's a lot of detail for one small caption. "Outlaw ex-munitions maker?" "$3,000,000, ranch house?!?" Maybe he needs to evil, to pay off the mortgage on that place...

Oh, and PRO-TIP: don't carry the secret formula with you during the experiment, because...

Science rustlers!!Of course, the parents die...but not baby Roger!

Protected by the power of cuteBut he's far from safe, as he immediately launches into his second-season-24-Kim Bauer impression:

Someday, his descendant will menace Kim Bauer
A dingo took the baby!!Fortunately, we've got a grizzled old prospector nearby, dagnabit!

Claim-jumper!!
Uh...he doesn't look dead...
I can write off his expenses against my gold find!! Yippee!!So, Nugget Ned of course decides to raise the tyke for his own. And of course, we soon discover the secret to rearing children--let 'em play with wildlife, unsupervised!!

Now exposed to swine flu, bird flu, deer flu, bear flu, lyme disease, and trichinosisOh, and he gets really good at the bow, too.

Kaa!! Noooooooooooo!
World's stupidest prospector"Nugget Ned has little need for the gold he finds?!?!?!" What, this is a hobby for him?? This is a world where gold has no value?? What the hell??

Also...gold would make a fairly lousy arrow head. I'm just sayin'...

And, if that weren't already cool enough, Roger finds and tames the greatest stallion in the West.

The horse names him 'Shooter of expensive arrows'Well, we get the inevitable deathbed confession...

There is another...And Roger takes off for revenge, just as Braddock is about to hand off the formula to his twin sons:

So he didn't sell it for twenty years because?!?Bronk and Brute?!? BRONK and BRUTE?!?! What the...?

I show you this next panel, for one reason only:

Coolest villain hidden switch ever--COWBOY HENCHMEN?!?How cool is it to have a secret button to summon cowboy henchmen?!?

Sadly for said henchmen, there is a reason why chaps are a bad idea at a superhero rumble:

Ah, clown cowboy henchmen!Golden Arrow retrieves the formula, gets away without killing anybody (!), rides off into the sunset (seriously), and anonymously donates the formula to the U.S. government:

Shouldn't the sub-headline be 'Derigibles useless against the Luftwaffe'???Of course, the development of the modern air force made your pappy's invention completely obsolete, but thanks anyway...

So what do we have here? A crazy mash-up of comic origin cliches...except this was early 1940, so they weren't cliches yet!! The murdered parents, the grizzled prospector, the deathbed revelation of his true parentage, the evil millionaire, the secret scientific formula, the hangin' out with animals...it's a delightful fully-stuffed origin, isn't it?

There's also the question of time-period. Some dialogue clearly places the story between WWI & WWII...but he's gallivanting around an Old West with Indians and prospectors, with no sign of electricity and telephones, and a press that's still amazed by dirigible technology. Things are further confused by a later team-up with Captain Marvel and Spy Smasher...Let's just say it takes place in its own special era, shall we?

Bill Parker's script is richer than many in the day, more complex and fuller, chock full of little details that many contemporary writers would never have thought to put in. A prospector with little need for gold? Wild...Greg Duncan's art, while cruder and more rushed than what we're used to today, was pretty impressive for the times...he's great on faces, and is almost impressionistic in some of the backgrounds and scenery.

Golden Arrow hung around in Whiz Comics for more than 13 years, and even had his own book for about 5 seconds. Yet even since the DC Borg Collective assimilated the Fawcett characters, there hasn't been a single sighting of Golden Arrow. Not a background appearance in an All-Star Squadron luncheon, not a glimpse during an Earth-S crossover, nothing. And let's face it--if you were a WWII-era hero and Roy Thomas didn't find a way to use you for even a cameo, that's serious comic book limbo.

So here's the pitch. This dude was orphaned, kidnapped by a mountain lion, raised by a playboy prospector, rides around on the best horse ever and shoots arrows made of gold (take that, Hal Jordan!), is the son of a scientific genius, and is in the Old West during WWII. That's gotta be worth at least a 6-issue mini-series, right? Hey, DC, if it helps, have him turn out to be Roy Harper's long-lost great-uncle or something...

Yeah, we've got too many damn archers already. But Golden Arrow was the first, and in lots of ways, the best and most imaginative. I don't need Simon or Paula for this one--DC, bring back Golden Arrow!!!


8 comments:

Anthony W said...

Bad news: Some dude used an arrow to nail you to the wall.

Good news: The arrow's tip was made of gold so you can make some money off it.

Menshevik said...

Well, I guess they used golden arrowheads 'cos silver was already taken by the Lone Ranger...

Anonymous said...

Snell, I've got an idea for your next Golden Age quest:

From Sensation Comics #1 (yep, the same famous Wonder Woman issue) comes a character penned by Green Lantern scribe Gardner Fox:

THE GAY GHOST, and as the first page says - I swear I'm not making it up - he's "the queerest in all history"!!!!!

Every time he gets next to someone they cry out something like "QUEER! I FEEL SO QUEER . . . AS THOUGH A COLD WIND BLEW ON MY HEART!"

The big plot complexity of that issue? The Gay Ghost, confused by his love for Deborah, has to enter the body of a man, and, as he says: "I'll make her fall in love with us both, b'gad."

The issue ends, promising that The Gray Ghost "is destined to outwit and outfight evildoers _of all kinds_ (emphasis mine)".

Seems queer to me. Ha. Ha.

If you use this, just give me a shout-out, hey?

snell said...

Lawrence--I've already dealt (albeit very briefly) with the Gay Ghost. Since I don't own any stories that feature him, more is unlikely.

But don't worry--my next Golden Age Idol entry will make the Gay Ghost seem like Macho McStraightguy.

Anonymous said...

Actually, The Arrow (from Centaur) beat GA out by two years, being created in 1938 shortly after Superman.

snell said...

Good call, Darkmark.

Joseph Hinman (Metacrock) said...

sorry "the Arrow" (Not Godlen Arrow) was fisst. He beat Godne Arrow by two years, 1938. here's a theory of his on Golden Age Super heroes

http://goldenageheroes.blogspot.com/search/label/ARROW

there was also a black arrow, a red arrow, in addition to golden arrow and Green arrow. The Arrow preceded all.

Sina said...

Ooh, maybe they should do a "colour-spectrum" Arrow Corps just like the GL Corps did! Green signifies social consciousness, purple signifies decadence, gold signifies purity, chartreuse signifies greed, etc. etc. etc. yada yada blah blah 😜