Well, if you recall yesterday's epic battle, Superman got his ass kicked by a TRS-80. No, seriously.
OK, that just sounds so...odd. So let's journey back to the end of the disco era, when Bill Gates was just beginning to dream of world domination: 1980. Or: look what snell found in the quarter bin!:
Wow.
Compliments of Radio Shack?!? A free comic?!?! And no strings attached...except for DC trying to shove TRS-80's down our throat.
I've seen DC freebie comics before (kids--this was long before anyone had dreamed up Free Comics Day!), but usually they were public service type things: the New Teen Titans telling us not to do drugs, or some such. But I'd never seen one whose sole purpose was merely a commercial for some non-DC company.
And this thing is entirely a commercial for Radio Shack, and its exciting new affordable computer. Every ad in the book is for Radio Shack and their goods, and the entire story is how the TRS-80 helps Superman save the day. Hell, even the official title of the book is "Superman in 'The Computers That Saved Metropolis.'"
And that story? Superman shows up at Ms. Wilson's sixth-grade class, bearing two mysterious boxes, which he describes as "very special equipment." First, though, Superman gives the class a lecture on the history of the computer, and how important they will be in modern life, including this diagram:
Ahh, advanced computing...Anyway, Superman reveals that the mysterious boxes contain two TRS-80's for the class!! Why Superman is the delivery boy, and why he's so hot for Radio Shack, is never really explained. Maybe he owned stock...
After a brief distraction to save Metropolis from a freak tornado, Superman returns to class, and is challenged by the children to compete against the computers. This is where yesterday's Friday Night Fights starts, so go take a look if you want to refresh your memory. All set?
So why did Superman lose? Well, as the cover showed us, our super-villain today is Major Disaster, and he had one clever-ass plan:
Yes, "far too obvious" to actually kill him. What a nimrod. Major Disaster is a loser even in a non-canonical commercial sell-out...
So anyway, the net effect of Disaster's devious ploy? Superman can't use his super-brain to control his super-powers any more:
So when Major Doofus goes on TV to announce that he's going to unleash 3 disasters upon Metropolis that Superman can't stop, we know the game is up. Except he didn't plan for: THE COMPUTER WHIZ KIDS (sponsored by Radio Shack...)!!
Yup, Superman is going to have 2 sixth-graders and the mind-numbingly fast TRS-80 guide him in how to save the day!! Sure, you may have thought the TRS-80 was only good for using BASIC to continually scroll dirty words on the screens at your local Radio Shack, but watch it save Metropolis here:
Well, after two more incredibly tense disasters, Superman effortlessly captures Major Diasaster--offscreen!! And while talking to the press...well, no more pretense of story here!! Superman just becomes a complete shill, while cheating WGBS out of potential advertising income:
Wow. This makes the whole Hostess Fruit Pie thing look like a bulwark of ethical integrity, huh?
Let's take a quick peek at a couple of the completely coincidental ads in this comic:
First, the very first "Dummies" book
Next, a big choice to make
Next, why Superman really lost: Networking=magic...and only $500 for a router!
Fianlly, an indication of how little we actually knew about computers in 1980:
Questions: Exactly how much did DC pull in leasing out America's greatest hero to be a computer huckster? Why Major Disaster, and not a more recognizable villain? Were there any other of these commercial sell-outs, with other heroes or other products, that I don't know about?
Well, that concludes our tour of 1980 cross-promtional selling-out, enticing children to beg their parents for "computers" that would be obsolete in 12 nanoseconds. It's hard to imagine such a blatant bit of commercial pandering these days. They were simpler times, those days...Then again, if Superman drinking Coke a couple of times per issue, or Spider-Man pointing out the virtues of a Ford Taurus, can keep the price of our comics from rising above $2.99, well, pander away, gentlemen!!
OK, that just sounds so...odd. So let's journey back to the end of the disco era, when Bill Gates was just beginning to dream of world domination: 1980. Or: look what snell found in the quarter bin!:
Wow.Compliments of Radio Shack?!? A free comic?!?! And no strings attached...except for DC trying to shove TRS-80's down our throat.
I've seen DC freebie comics before (kids--this was long before anyone had dreamed up Free Comics Day!), but usually they were public service type things: the New Teen Titans telling us not to do drugs, or some such. But I'd never seen one whose sole purpose was merely a commercial for some non-DC company.
And this thing is entirely a commercial for Radio Shack, and its exciting new affordable computer. Every ad in the book is for Radio Shack and their goods, and the entire story is how the TRS-80 helps Superman save the day. Hell, even the official title of the book is "Superman in 'The Computers That Saved Metropolis.'"
And that story? Superman shows up at Ms. Wilson's sixth-grade class, bearing two mysterious boxes, which he describes as "very special equipment." First, though, Superman gives the class a lecture on the history of the computer, and how important they will be in modern life, including this diagram:
Ahh, advanced computing...Anyway, Superman reveals that the mysterious boxes contain two TRS-80's for the class!! Why Superman is the delivery boy, and why he's so hot for Radio Shack, is never really explained. Maybe he owned stock...After a brief distraction to save Metropolis from a freak tornado, Superman returns to class, and is challenged by the children to compete against the computers. This is where yesterday's Friday Night Fights starts, so go take a look if you want to refresh your memory. All set?
So why did Superman lose? Well, as the cover showed us, our super-villain today is Major Disaster, and he had one clever-ass plan:
Yes, "far too obvious" to actually kill him. What a nimrod. Major Disaster is a loser even in a non-canonical commercial sell-out...So anyway, the net effect of Disaster's devious ploy? Superman can't use his super-brain to control his super-powers any more:
So when Major Doofus goes on TV to announce that he's going to unleash 3 disasters upon Metropolis that Superman can't stop, we know the game is up. Except he didn't plan for: THE COMPUTER WHIZ KIDS (sponsored by Radio Shack...)!!Yup, Superman is going to have 2 sixth-graders and the mind-numbingly fast TRS-80 guide him in how to save the day!! Sure, you may have thought the TRS-80 was only good for using BASIC to continually scroll dirty words on the screens at your local Radio Shack, but watch it save Metropolis here:
Well, after two more incredibly tense disasters, Superman effortlessly captures Major Diasaster--offscreen!! And while talking to the press...well, no more pretense of story here!! Superman just becomes a complete shill, while cheating WGBS out of potential advertising income:
Wow. This makes the whole Hostess Fruit Pie thing look like a bulwark of ethical integrity, huh?Let's take a quick peek at a couple of the completely coincidental ads in this comic:
First, the very first "Dummies" book
Next, a big choice to make
Next, why Superman really lost: Networking=magic...and only $500 for a router!
Fianlly, an indication of how little we actually knew about computers in 1980:
Questions: Exactly how much did DC pull in leasing out America's greatest hero to be a computer huckster? Why Major Disaster, and not a more recognizable villain? Were there any other of these commercial sell-outs, with other heroes or other products, that I don't know about?Well, that concludes our tour of 1980 cross-promtional selling-out, enticing children to beg their parents for "computers" that would be obsolete in 12 nanoseconds. It's hard to imagine such a blatant bit of commercial pandering these days. They were simpler times, those days...Then again, if Superman drinking Coke a couple of times per issue, or Spider-Man pointing out the virtues of a Ford Taurus, can keep the price of our comics from rising above $2.99, well, pander away, gentlemen!!
5 comments:
HA! In that detailed explanation of the system, I couldn't help but picture Dr.Evil making the grandiose speech, including the air-quotes(which I call "soft-ware"). Man, the days of monchrome screens,inputting command prompts, 5 1/2 inch floppies, those were the days.
If I remember right, there were at least 3 of these Radio Shack giveaways featuring these Computer Whiz Kids. This one was also bound in as a free insert in Superman comics.
Captain--damn it, I wish i had thought of the Dr. Evil comparison...it's perfect!!
Dr.--At least 3?? Great, now I have to hunt down the others. What do they think, that I'm made out of quarters??
I had one of these comics back in the day. I don't think it was that particular issue, but I absolutely remember the Computer Whiz Kids making an appearance.
I am old.
The first one of these I picked up was the sequel (yes, you read that right) guest starring Supergirl and Lex Luthor. I lost it years ago along with an old Wonder Woman comic where Diana lost her crown to some upstart. I don't remember what happened in the RS comic other than Supergirl was kidnapped.
Alec and Shanna would later get their own regular comic series--if you went to Radio Shack once each season. The whole school seemed to move to Metro City for "TRS 80 Computer Whiz Kids", then again to Coast City one issue later when "TRS 80" was replaced by "Tandy". Archie took over for the kids's own comic, introduced a detective friend and a reporter with whom they seemed to have the same darn conversation with every time they visited a museum, which would be the first 3 or 4 issues. (Somebody got lazy and recycled dialog and often whole panels from earlier comics.) The art wasn't very good on the last issue or two (especially the back issue I found that the previous owner had written on certain panels), but the stories weren't bad for advertisements written like a Prime Time crime drama for the family (or maybe Nickelodeon).
Then again, I like the first two Kool-Aid-Man comics Marvel made, so don't judge by me. :)
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