Saturday, December 1, 2007

What the #$%^--One More Day

Hiya, kids!!Monstrobot here.

I just want to praise Marvel Comics for discovering new depths of evil.

I refer, of course, to the deliciously abysmal One More Day story line running (ever so slowly)through the Spider-Man books.

Sensational is not the word that I would use...Oh, it's not just because the story is abominably bad, and slow, and drawn out, and whiny, and self-pitying, and portentous, and...

And it's evil not only because they're jumping the entire Marvel universe through ridiculous hoops just because the head honcho believes that it's not cool to have your hero in a healthy adult relationship. Thank you for spreading the message that marriage is bad and boring, Joe Quesada.

And it's not one of the 105 other reasons this storyline is evil and diseased (evil note to Quesada: if you want to get rid of Mary Jane, why not just kill her off?? Because you want to give fans hope that they'll be reunited someday...that's the exact same plan as Mephisto, you cheeky devil! You don't even have the courage of your convictions!! How brilliantly evil!)

No, what's really, tremendously, soul-staggeringly vile about this business is that Marvel is charging $3.99 per issue for this. And what does the fan get for that extra $1? Half a reprint.

That's right. You can't even fill the back of the book with a full story. Just 1/2 a story.

And the beauty part? You don 't continue that reprint in the next issue!! Instead, you give them a blurb telling the fan that if they want to finish the story, they have to go buy an omnibus collection!! Yup, kids, you just put out an extra dollar for a comic, and you can only finish the story if you go spend $75 list for a hardback collection. Bwahahahahahaha! can spend $60 to read it digitally online!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Man, Dr. Doom wishes he could be that evil. Even Mephisto is applauding your vileness, Marvel. You make a humble Monstrobot like myself hang my head in shame at how little real evil I have done.

Well played, Joe Quesada, you magnificent bastard!


Anonymous said...

Of course not. Doom only does things that are awesome.

Anonymous said...

Of course not. Doom only does things that are awesome.