Yeah, yeah, George Lucas blew it by having Han Solo say he made the Kessel run in "less than 12 parsecs." No matter what retcons you use or stilted explanations you conceive for your so-so prequels, it's still using a unit of distance to apparently convey time. A dumb mistake--admit it and move on, people.
But then again...other alien cultures seem to use distance for time!!
Take, for example, J'onn J'onzz, communicating with his parents on Mars, and helping to solve a crime there:
"10087 meters time"?? WTF?
Well, the caption tells us that that means "40 minutes of Earth time." And we learn the latest heist happened "10024 meters ago."
So, on Mars and a galaxy far far away, they do measure time in distance. Maybe the opening chyron for the Star Wars films should have said "Many parsecs ago..."
From Detective Comics #236 (1956)
Showing posts with label J'onn J'onzz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label J'onn J'onzz. Show all posts
Monday, June 18, 2018
Manic Monday--Life On Mars!!
He's only been on Earth for a year (in our time), and J'onn J'onzz hasn't given up on contacting home. So he makes one more try with his super-advanced communication device:
Hey!
And on any planet, mothers are still mothers...
Yes, early in his history, we didn't have the rule that heroes' lives must be filled with tragedy. Sure, J'onn was exiled on Earth. But he wasn't the sole survivor of his species, he didn't lose his wife and children (because he didn't have either!), his parents were alive and well...it was only later retcons that added the tons of angst to J'onn's backstory.
Because being a shape-shifting Martian detective with amazing powers was good enough back in the day, and having a hero who was happy wasn't a bad thing...
From Detective Comics #236 (1956)
Hey!
And on any planet, mothers are still mothers...
Yes, early in his history, we didn't have the rule that heroes' lives must be filled with tragedy. Sure, J'onn was exiled on Earth. But he wasn't the sole survivor of his species, he didn't lose his wife and children (because he didn't have either!), his parents were alive and well...it was only later retcons that added the tons of angst to J'onn's backstory.
Because being a shape-shifting Martian detective with amazing powers was good enough back in the day, and having a hero who was happy wasn't a bad thing...
From Detective Comics #236 (1956)
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
The Justice League Of What Now?
A pop culture magazine is interviewing the Martian Manhunter about the recently reformed Justice League of America:
It is interesting to see some qualms about the full name Justice League Of America even back in 1997. FWIW, this "interview" was written by Mark Millar.
And I'll allow you to discuss amongst yourselves whether the "interview" is deliberately highlighting J'onn's non-Earth-native naivete about the implications of the name, and his lack of understanding of the freight associated with the name. Why else would he lump in the democratic Baltic States with Libya, Iraq and China? Unless Lithuania is secretly oppressing its people and developing nuclear weapons...
Of course, there are real-world implications, too: Warner has movies to market, and toys to sell. As far as I can tell, the forthcoming JLA movie hasn't an official name, just a working title: The Justice League Part One. But you can wager dollars to doughnuts that, whatever the eventual actual title, it won't include Justice League Of America. They gotta make sure this movie gets on screens in China, after all, and the toys onto shelves in St. Petersburg.
Which may result in a bit of fun blustering. Remember the hissy fit Fox News and others had with Superman Returns, when Perry White dropped "the American way" from "Truth, Justice and..."? While the JLA'a name is not so culturally embedded as Superman's slogan, I'm eagerly anticipating Bill O'Reilly's shit-fit when he discovers that they've dropped the "America" from the Justice League Of America.
Of course, as J'onn points out in the interview, the "America" is more about tradition and history. Certainly, by the time they hit the Satellite Era (if not earlier), the JLA had a global reach. And post-Crisis, the decision to use/not use "America" was more a signal of a new direction/new creative team than anything else. Even today, the sole purpose seems to be to differentiate the Hitch book from the Johns book.
I've no real point to make here. I'm certainly not suggesting that DC permanently drop the "Of America" from "Justice League." I have no problem with that (although readers in foreign countries might have a different viewpoint...?). I just find it fascinating that a random and no doubt hastily thrown together name from a defunct 1940s super-hero team continues to hold such a strong sway 75 years later.
From JLA Secret Files #1 (1997)
It is interesting to see some qualms about the full name Justice League Of America even back in 1997. FWIW, this "interview" was written by Mark Millar.
And I'll allow you to discuss amongst yourselves whether the "interview" is deliberately highlighting J'onn's non-Earth-native naivete about the implications of the name, and his lack of understanding of the freight associated with the name. Why else would he lump in the democratic Baltic States with Libya, Iraq and China? Unless Lithuania is secretly oppressing its people and developing nuclear weapons...
Of course, there are real-world implications, too: Warner has movies to market, and toys to sell. As far as I can tell, the forthcoming JLA movie hasn't an official name, just a working title: The Justice League Part One. But you can wager dollars to doughnuts that, whatever the eventual actual title, it won't include Justice League Of America. They gotta make sure this movie gets on screens in China, after all, and the toys onto shelves in St. Petersburg.
Which may result in a bit of fun blustering. Remember the hissy fit Fox News and others had with Superman Returns, when Perry White dropped "the American way" from "Truth, Justice and..."? While the JLA'a name is not so culturally embedded as Superman's slogan, I'm eagerly anticipating Bill O'Reilly's shit-fit when he discovers that they've dropped the "America" from the Justice League Of America.
Of course, as J'onn points out in the interview, the "America" is more about tradition and history. Certainly, by the time they hit the Satellite Era (if not earlier), the JLA had a global reach. And post-Crisis, the decision to use/not use "America" was more a signal of a new direction/new creative team than anything else. Even today, the sole purpose seems to be to differentiate the Hitch book from the Johns book.
I've no real point to make here. I'm certainly not suggesting that DC permanently drop the "Of America" from "Justice League." I have no problem with that (although readers in foreign countries might have a different viewpoint...?). I just find it fascinating that a random and no doubt hastily thrown together name from a defunct 1940s super-hero team continues to hold such a strong sway 75 years later.
From JLA Secret Files #1 (1997)
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Why I Wasn't Quite As Thrilled By The Last Episode Of Supergirl As You Were
Look, I'm going to spoil the heck of of last Monday's episode of Supergirl. Sorry, there's no way around it.
So if you haven't seen it yet, and you want to remain blind, come back after you've seen it. This post will still be here. I promise.
Spoilers commence after the 4 pictures of Kara Zor-El...
Still here? OK, commence spoilers.
Everyone was kind of ecstatic over the Supergirl episode a couple of days ago that revealed (last chance to avoid spoilers!!) that Hank Henshaw was really J'onn J'onnz.
And it was, top to bottom, the episode of the series yet.
But...
I think some people were so enamored over the (admittedly squee-inducing) fan service that they managed to overlook a few very troubling things about the story.
I'll let you decide whether there are justifiable qualms or not, but allow me to elaborate.
**WAIT, JEMM IS A BAD GUY?!?
You guys are probably tired of me kvetching about this. But I ain't gonna stop anytime soon.
The number of intellectual properties available to DC is overwhelming. And, obviously, the number of villains they have is far, far greater than the number of heroes. That's just how comics works, right?
Yet, under current management, DC apparently cannot resist the urge to take heroic characters and turn them into sadistic villains. Why? I have no idea. But there's nothing the DC creative hierarchy finds more compelling that taking someone who was a hero and turning them into a reprehensible villain. Infinite Crisis took Superboy-Prime and Alexander Luthor, who had been heroes in Crisis On Infinite Earths, and turned them into genocidal maniacs (dragging the Superman of old Earth-2 along as a dupe). First Hawk, and then Captain Atom also became genocidal maniacs, killing off heroes (and entire universes!!). On the nu52 Earth-2, Terry Sloan(e) (Golden Age Mr. Terrific), Jimmy Olsen and Hourman have become, well, genocidal maniacs.
It's not like there aren't existing villains who couldn't be used in these roles. But, no, DC feels the need to Kingdom-Come themselves as often as possible. Despite the fact that the current troika thinks that villains are "cooler" and "more interesting," they would seem to rather turn heroes bad than actually use villains as villains.
So, Jemm.
He was never really a substantial, significant hero. But he wasn't a bad guy, either (except when brainwashed by Luthor).
So why not use a villain for the role of uncontrollable killing machine? More than one person has suggested that, say, Despero would have fit the required role in this episode to a T. Or any of the many, many many space-based villains available to DC.
But no, they have to take a hero and turn him into a bad guy. Because.
Really, this is NOT a trend we should be encouraging.
**SNAP
What's the first think J'onn J'onnz does when he appears on screen (albeit in shadow). He defeats Jemm of Saturn.
BY BREAKING HIS NECK.
So it's J'onn Of Steel now, eh?
Look, I know we don't know J'onn's power set in this universe. But don't we all think of J'onn as a character who would be strong enough, smart enough, moral enough, to find some other way than outright killing an escaped prisoner to resolve the situation? Does this sound at all like the J'onn we squee about?
(Plus, if they didn't kill Jemm, we could have Supergirl fight him later...wasteful!!)
Seriously, everyone was so enamored of a 2-second CGI shot that they kind of completely missed that DC just repeated their Man Of Steel approach by making J'onn a hero who kills first.
And it was completely unnecessary.
BONUS QUIBBLE: It would have been easier to accept J'onn's broody "I am the last survivor of my race" if he hadn't just killed Jemm, WHOSE PEOPLE WERE DESCENDED FROM J'ONN'S RACE. Yes, I know, different universe, probably not the same history. But still...
ULTRA BONUS QUIBBLE: Using the fact that Henshaw escaped from locked handcuffs to deduce that he must be an alien is, well, fairly dumb, as Harry Houdini was escaping form handcuffs before your great-grandparents were born. Seriously. unless you're telling me Houdini was from Mars...
**ALEX IS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CHARACTER
Look, I will grant you that she had a fine bad-ass moment against Jemm (which, by the way, completely failed).
But in a series where she has done little but whine and try to hold others back, her nadir comes when she selfishly chooses this moment of crisis to allow her personal suspicions to endanger the lives of every single person in the base. This is the moment she chooses to confront Henshaw? At least one DEO agent died directly because of her actions this episode. And if Henshaw hadn't turned out to be J'onn J'onnz, than every single person in the base would have died because of her, and all of the prisoners would have escaped. This was her grand moment?!?
Whiny is bad. Whiny and selfish and ridiculously stupid and endangering the safety of the entire city is unacceptable. And at this point I don't know if the character can be salvaged (especially if they follow through with the "she's going to be Max Lord's girlfriend" plot).
(This is not a knock on Chyler Leigh's acting ability...no one could do much with the incoherent, unlikable mess of a character the writers have created for her).
So, yeah, great episode of Supergirl...but let's not overlook the troubling blemishes on an otherwise pretty fun show. Let's stop wasting our heroes by turning them into villains. Let's stop having our heroes be so quick to kill. And for heaven's sake, someone do a complete reboot of Alex, ASAP.
So if you haven't seen it yet, and you want to remain blind, come back after you've seen it. This post will still be here. I promise.
Spoilers commence after the 4 pictures of Kara Zor-El...
Still here? OK, commence spoilers.
Everyone was kind of ecstatic over the Supergirl episode a couple of days ago that revealed (last chance to avoid spoilers!!) that Hank Henshaw was really J'onn J'onnz.
And it was, top to bottom, the episode of the series yet.
But...
I think some people were so enamored over the (admittedly squee-inducing) fan service that they managed to overlook a few very troubling things about the story.
I'll let you decide whether there are justifiable qualms or not, but allow me to elaborate.
**WAIT, JEMM IS A BAD GUY?!?
You guys are probably tired of me kvetching about this. But I ain't gonna stop anytime soon.
The number of intellectual properties available to DC is overwhelming. And, obviously, the number of villains they have is far, far greater than the number of heroes. That's just how comics works, right?
Yet, under current management, DC apparently cannot resist the urge to take heroic characters and turn them into sadistic villains. Why? I have no idea. But there's nothing the DC creative hierarchy finds more compelling that taking someone who was a hero and turning them into a reprehensible villain. Infinite Crisis took Superboy-Prime and Alexander Luthor, who had been heroes in Crisis On Infinite Earths, and turned them into genocidal maniacs (dragging the Superman of old Earth-2 along as a dupe). First Hawk, and then Captain Atom also became genocidal maniacs, killing off heroes (and entire universes!!). On the nu52 Earth-2, Terry Sloan(e) (Golden Age Mr. Terrific), Jimmy Olsen and Hourman have become, well, genocidal maniacs.
It's not like there aren't existing villains who couldn't be used in these roles. But, no, DC feels the need to Kingdom-Come themselves as often as possible. Despite the fact that the current troika thinks that villains are "cooler" and "more interesting," they would seem to rather turn heroes bad than actually use villains as villains.
So, Jemm.
He was never really a substantial, significant hero. But he wasn't a bad guy, either (except when brainwashed by Luthor).
So why not use a villain for the role of uncontrollable killing machine? More than one person has suggested that, say, Despero would have fit the required role in this episode to a T. Or any of the many, many many space-based villains available to DC.
But no, they have to take a hero and turn him into a bad guy. Because.
Really, this is NOT a trend we should be encouraging.
**SNAP
What's the first think J'onn J'onnz does when he appears on screen (albeit in shadow). He defeats Jemm of Saturn.
BY BREAKING HIS NECK.
So it's J'onn Of Steel now, eh?
Look, I know we don't know J'onn's power set in this universe. But don't we all think of J'onn as a character who would be strong enough, smart enough, moral enough, to find some other way than outright killing an escaped prisoner to resolve the situation? Does this sound at all like the J'onn we squee about?
(Plus, if they didn't kill Jemm, we could have Supergirl fight him later...wasteful!!)
Seriously, everyone was so enamored of a 2-second CGI shot that they kind of completely missed that DC just repeated their Man Of Steel approach by making J'onn a hero who kills first.
And it was completely unnecessary.
BONUS QUIBBLE: It would have been easier to accept J'onn's broody "I am the last survivor of my race" if he hadn't just killed Jemm, WHOSE PEOPLE WERE DESCENDED FROM J'ONN'S RACE. Yes, I know, different universe, probably not the same history. But still...
ULTRA BONUS QUIBBLE: Using the fact that Henshaw escaped from locked handcuffs to deduce that he must be an alien is, well, fairly dumb, as Harry Houdini was escaping form handcuffs before your great-grandparents were born. Seriously. unless you're telling me Houdini was from Mars...
**ALEX IS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CHARACTER
Look, I will grant you that she had a fine bad-ass moment against Jemm (which, by the way, completely failed).
But in a series where she has done little but whine and try to hold others back, her nadir comes when she selfishly chooses this moment of crisis to allow her personal suspicions to endanger the lives of every single person in the base. This is the moment she chooses to confront Henshaw? At least one DEO agent died directly because of her actions this episode. And if Henshaw hadn't turned out to be J'onn J'onnz, than every single person in the base would have died because of her, and all of the prisoners would have escaped. This was her grand moment?!?
Whiny is bad. Whiny and selfish and ridiculously stupid and endangering the safety of the entire city is unacceptable. And at this point I don't know if the character can be salvaged (especially if they follow through with the "she's going to be Max Lord's girlfriend" plot).
(This is not a knock on Chyler Leigh's acting ability...no one could do much with the incoherent, unlikable mess of a character the writers have created for her).
So, yeah, great episode of Supergirl...but let's not overlook the troubling blemishes on an otherwise pretty fun show. Let's stop wasting our heroes by turning them into villains. Let's stop having our heroes be so quick to kill. And for heaven's sake, someone do a complete reboot of Alex, ASAP.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Manic Monday Bonus--So, Which Hero Is The Most Valuable Crook?
How to amuse yourself in the days before EBay:
Oh, you stupid crooks.
Anyway, for once this scene actually does happen inside the comic book! Small-time punk Peter Rickets has stumbled upon a scientific device which gives him the ability to completely control anyone mentally--even the Justice League Of America!!
Well, instead of offing them right away, he decides to auction them off to the nation's underworld leaders, who can then use them to commit crimes for them!! Hence our (surprisingly) accurate cover!
Ah, but to heck with the story. My question is this: Which hero do you think received the highest bids? Who would be, among the hypnotized JLA (Batman and Superman are off "on a mission in Dimension X"), the best "tool" for a criminal to use?
Me, I tend toward J'onn Jonzz. After all, he has the basic Superman power set, PLUS invisibility, PLUS intangibility, PLUS shape-shifting, PLUS telepathy...pretty much the perfect skills for theivery, right? He can look like anybody, walk through walls, read minds...and if there's trouble, he can fly and beat the crap out of people. Sure, there's the pesky fire problem, but you have to think that fire is a lot less common than, say, yellow.
And, given the company, Green Arrow or Aquaman had to attract the lowest bids, am I right?
Sadly, we never learn the actual amounts these nogoodniks bid in their auction, so I guess it's for all of us to decide on our own who would the most valuable to the lords of crime.
Of course, if instead of selling them individually, you sold them as a unit, you could run one hell of a criminal scheme...send them out as an Ocean's Six, as it were.
Damn, that's a fine idea. That had better be the basis of the Justice League movie...
From Justice League of America #8 (1962)
Oh, you stupid crooks.
Anyway, for once this scene actually does happen inside the comic book! Small-time punk Peter Rickets has stumbled upon a scientific device which gives him the ability to completely control anyone mentally--even the Justice League Of America!!
Well, instead of offing them right away, he decides to auction them off to the nation's underworld leaders, who can then use them to commit crimes for them!! Hence our (surprisingly) accurate cover!
Ah, but to heck with the story. My question is this: Which hero do you think received the highest bids? Who would be, among the hypnotized JLA (Batman and Superman are off "on a mission in Dimension X"), the best "tool" for a criminal to use?
Me, I tend toward J'onn Jonzz. After all, he has the basic Superman power set, PLUS invisibility, PLUS intangibility, PLUS shape-shifting, PLUS telepathy...pretty much the perfect skills for theivery, right? He can look like anybody, walk through walls, read minds...and if there's trouble, he can fly and beat the crap out of people. Sure, there's the pesky fire problem, but you have to think that fire is a lot less common than, say, yellow.
And, given the company, Green Arrow or Aquaman had to attract the lowest bids, am I right?
Sadly, we never learn the actual amounts these nogoodniks bid in their auction, so I guess it's for all of us to decide on our own who would the most valuable to the lords of crime.
Of course, if instead of selling them individually, you sold them as a unit, you could run one hell of a criminal scheme...send them out as an Ocean's Six, as it were.
Damn, that's a fine idea. That had better be the basis of the Justice League movie...
From Justice League of America #8 (1962)
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Tuesday, April 29, 2014
And then There Was That Time Popeye Boxed With J'onn J'onzz...?
There are a lot of folks who think that Superman vs Muhammad Ali is the greatest comic book boxing match ever.
Those people are wrong.
As we saw last week, Popeye wasn't able to find anyone willing to fight him, because his 66,223-0 record was scaring away prospective opponents.
So Wimpy decides to help out by doing a radio broadcast to find someone for Popeye to fight:
But the signal went a bit farther than intended...
So then this guy shows up...
A shape-shifter? From Mars? Obviously a relative of a certain Manhunter we know.
Oh, and the Martian plans to win:
And the fight is on!
OK, that's just plain cheating!! But...
Lousy Martians!! And...
D'oh!!
But, fortunately for Popeye...
Woo hoo! Popeye wins!!
Except...
And THAT is why J'onn J'onzz eats Oreos, and not spinach!!
From Popeye #21 (1952), as reprinted in Classic Popeye #21 (2014)
Those people are wrong.
As we saw last week, Popeye wasn't able to find anyone willing to fight him, because his 66,223-0 record was scaring away prospective opponents.
So Wimpy decides to help out by doing a radio broadcast to find someone for Popeye to fight:
But the signal went a bit farther than intended...
So then this guy shows up...
A shape-shifter? From Mars? Obviously a relative of a certain Manhunter we know.
Oh, and the Martian plans to win:
OK, that's just plain cheating!! But...
Lousy Martians!! And...
D'oh!!
But, fortunately for Popeye...
Woo hoo! Popeye wins!!
Except...
And THAT is why J'onn J'onzz eats Oreos, and not spinach!!
From Popeye #21 (1952), as reprinted in Classic Popeye #21 (2014)
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