Great Moments In Overly-Complicated Death Traps!!

Because Batman and Robin are not very good at their jobs, the Joker has captured them...so it's time for a overly-complicated death trap!!

Wait...not just starving vampire bats--but starving vampire bats with poisoned teeth and claws!! 

Geez, Joker, why not infect them with the Clench, too, and give them switchblades, and...

It makes me incredibly sad that neither Joker nor the Dynamic Duo comment even once on the irony of Batman about to be killed by bats...

Oh, don;t worry--they escape just fine.

We never find out what happened to the bats. The probably escaped and killed dozens while Batman was off playing robbery games with Joker...

From World's Finest Comics #19 (1945)

Manic Monday--The Worst/Best Death Trap Ever!!

Robin is after a gang of children who have been carrying out audacious robberies!

He finds them stealing some radium--and the fighting is on!!
 

But wait...

Thank you, helpful dotted line and arrow!

But what could that mark mean?

Sure, sure, Dick Ric. A child has never had his collar buttoned, in school or church or because his family made him dress formally. Ever.

Not the most solid deduction in the world, is all I'm saying...even though it turns out he's right.

Still, children or little people, they put the beatdown on Robin!!

And just in case you thought costumed adult villains from Batman '66 were the only ones into staggeringly deadly death traps:

Roller skates? Really?

Yup.

OMG no!!

Now, I know Robin says he's groggy, but he could steer himself into the wall, or take a deliberate tumble before he gets to the intersection. Sure, he might get some scrapes or bruises, but it's better than getting killed by traffic, and it's pretty easy to do.

But no, Ric Grayson has to show off:

I have to be honest--the whole reason I'm doing this post is just so I can use the word "batpoon."

What you want for Christmas? You've already got a batpoon, and now you have free roller skates! Let's not be greedy, Robin!!

From World's Finest Comics #18 (1945)

More Reasons You Should Teach Your Children Morse Code (And Old Songs)!!

Batman was posing as a taxi driver (don't ask) when he's captured by foreign criminals who thought he was someone else (please don't ask).

He's awake now, but he has to feign unconsciousness, otherwise the crooks will quickly realize he's the wrong guy and kill him!

He can reach his radio belt, but he can't speak aloud--how can he let Robin know where he is?!?

Yes, "The Prisoner's Song" is a real song. Mostly forgotten these days, it was one of the best selling songs, both in vinyl and in sheet music, of the 1920s.


No, I don't think it's that distinctive of tune, especially if you're just moaning it through a gag. But kudos to Robin for recognizing a 20 year old song!

OK, Bruce, they know you're a prisoner. But how will they know where?

Again, a real song, this one only a decade old at the time! It was a Rodgers and Hart song, which ensured it would be a little bit better remembered...


This isn't a very helpful clue, though...which hotel?!?

Whew!! Robin needed to know 140 year old classical music AND Morse Code for that one!!

And of course, "Yippee!" is universal for when a youngster is joyful!


And again, special props to Batman for mad moaning skills!!

From Batman #25 (1944)

Batman And The Truth About The "Snyder Cut"!!

Batman and Robin are in Hollywood, filming a movie (at the request of the Justice Department!).

At the same time, a famous director is about to release his thrilling new movie:

But, suddenly...

They stole Loring's highly anticipated new film!!!

Using balloons, no less!

Batman and Robin help the director try to buy the film back from the thieves, but they end up not getting the film and losing the money!

But it turns out that the movie wasn't really stolen!! Batman finds it hidden on the studio lot!!

But who would do that?

Well, it turns out...

...that the movie was a complete dud!! MST3K worthy!!

And Batman sets a trap for the perps:

And there you have it--Loring's new "masterpiece" was so bad that he paid crooks to "steal" it so the public would never see how bad it was, and have it ruin his reputation--all while moaning how terrible it was that his masterpiece was lost.

After putting the kibosh on Loring...

...the studio has the turkey back!!

Don't worry--they'll probably call in a better, more popular director to "fix" the movie, while fans clamor for years for "The Loring cut."

From Batman #37 (1946)

The First Catwoman-Batman Wedding!!

Because all of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again, our first stab at a Cat-Bat wedding:

No, I don't know what's up with Selina's costume here. We'll discuss that more at another date.

Anyway, just to spoil you, no, we didn't have a wedding in 1967. But, we also didn't have a fake wedding which DC used to suck a lot of money out of gullible fans while giving us the ridiculousness of Catwoman not marrying Batman because being married would somehow "un-man" him and make him incapable of being a hero anymore. BONUS: DC continues to market a "Wedding Album" and a trade paperback entitled "The Wedding" even after it is well known THAT THERE WAS NO WEDDING. But they're not fraudulent misogynist hucksters at all...

Anyway, back in the day, Catwoman decide that she was in love with Batman, so she pretends to go straight, capturing criminals (and showing up Batgirl) to prove she'll make a better partner...

Bruce--confirmed bachelor!

True love--giving up crime!

But, you know, she is a villain, so Catwoman's idea of love and how to win it can be a little...twisted?

A choice?

Well, capturing everyone and putting them in a death trap is a unique way of proposing, I guess.

But this time out, Batman is the one who says "no."

Of course, Batman escapes.

But don't feel bad, Selina. You never had a chance. Not as long as...

...Robin loves Batman even more than you!!

From Batman #197 (1967)

Manic Monday Bonus--WWE Wishes It Were This Entertaining!

There's a big wrestling match going on in Gotham, to raise money for war bonds!!

But the Scarecrow is gonna rob the event!!

Actually, that probably could happen in an actual wrestling match...

And so begins the greatest wrestling match in history!!

So much better than anything you get in these big pay-per-view fights...

And then the Scarecrow cheats!

And the referee still wouldn't call a foul...

From Detective Comics #73 (1943)