The Fourth Member--American Idol!!!

Well, we're finally back where this whole mess started.

It's 1976, It's Fantastic Four #176, it's Roy Thomas and George Perez. The FF have just returned from a space jaunt, having visited Counter-Earth.

(For those who have a life, Counter-Earth was an artificial duplicate of Earth created by the High Evolutionary to play God upon...it was located "exactly opposite" of Earth's orbit, so most people didn't even know it was there. Yes, I know that's not how orbits work. It's comics).

So, anyway, after hiring an unknown who would later turn out to be a hero; after brainwashing a hero whose brainwashing wore off; after once again hiring an unknown who would later turn out to be a (sort of kind of) hero; and after boldly deciding that a group named the Frightful Four was better off with only 3 members...after all of that, the Wizard and company have finally decided to try a new strategy to fill that fourth slot:

Oh, dear. Seriously, Wizard, don't you actually know any other super-villains? Couldn't you simply call up Diablo or Mysterio or someone and say, "Hey, wanna be in our group?" Putting out a classified ad doesn't seem to be the brightest way to go. But it will mean an awful lot of fun for us readers...

Rushing home, the FF discover that, for the 19th time, the Frightful ones have penetrated the Baxter Building's security:

As I mentioned when this series started, that panel sent my friend and I into a tizzy, a month-long scavenger hunt through Marvel history, trying to figure out who that "most fearsome" new fourth member could be. We needn't have bothered, as we'll see...

We jump forward to FF #177...where we spend a couple of pages talking. But at least Roy has the good sense to be quite tongue-in-cheek about how lame the Frightful ones are, and their classified ad idea:

Battle breaks out...

Note: as you can see from those panels, Reed's stretching powers have become unstable of late. That will become an important plot point later.

The Fantastics have the Frightfuls on the run...at least seemingly. When one of their members is known as the Trapster, though, perhaps the FF should have expected...a trap!!


Which leads to the Frightful Four putting their captives into the most ridiculous, yet most sublimely brilliant, contraptions ever.

No, I don't know whether Reed just had a giant propeller laying around, or if the Wizard brought it with him. All I know is: George Perez...bless you.

We should also note that this is the 15th time the Frightful ones have had the FF defeated and at their mercy...and don't kill them. But, believe it or not, the Wizard actually has a plan this time!!

First, though, the villain try-outs...as we've got a lobby full of costumed evil-doers waiting!!

Now, you know the early "audition" episodes of American Idol each season? The one where...ahem...obviously untalented...people somehow convince themselves that embarassing themselves on national television is somehow a good thing? Well, prepare for the comic book version of this, as every time the elevator door opens, we get Roy & George's version of William Hung, three decades early. First up:


Rule #1--don't piss off the Wizard.

Next up?


Hey, a dude with real powers!! This is bound to work, right??


D'oh!! Seriously...you let him go over money? You doofuses... (for the record, the "other bunch'a fellas" was S.H.I.E.L.D., and the Twister would go on to be one of their Super-Agents in the pages of Captain America. Seriously--S.H.I.E.L.D. pays better than the Frightful Four?!?)

Next off the elevator??


Don't these dudes have a camera to monitor who is coming up? A bouncer in the lobby? Is there any excuse for letting a traitorous former member come up and beat the bejeebers out of you? Is Medusa in line, too? Fortunately, once again the Trapster saves the day:

Hmmm. That's twice the Trapster has saved the day. Hell must have icicles today..Hang on, it's time for the next one off the elevator:



Finally!! A winner!!

D'oh!! By the way, we learn in later years that Captain Ultra's real name is Griffin Gogol...try saying that 5 times fast...also, that Captain Ultra was essentially the Sentry before Marvel felt the need to come up with the Sentry. Ultra-breath?!?

Our next contestant eschews the elevator for a more direct approach.


Now, we can forgive the Frightful Four a bit here...at this point, Tigra was still a relatively unknown player in the Marvel universe. This was pre-Avengers, pre-impregnated by Skrull Pym, so they can be forgiven for not immediately recognizing her as a hero. Still, get ready for the third time (THREE!!!) that they accept an unknown female who will turn out to be a hero and betray them:


So Tigra manages to free the Torch and the Thing, and the Wizard puts out a general call for help:

So most of the wannabes were just...wannabes. But there's this one guy:


How strong is the Brute??

That strong.

Meanwhile, the Wizard takes Tigra for a spin.

Now, despite a size disadvantage, Ben holds his own:

Until:

Howzat? How did the Brute manage to decipher the use of Reed Richards' most complex machinery?? Because, my friends, the Brute is really:

No wonder we never guessed the fourth member back in the day. The Brute? The Reed Richards from Counter-Earth?? Sure, he had appeared back in the old Marvel Premiere and original Warlock series several years earlier. But that was pretty dang obscure, Roy.

So the Frightful Four finally have a new member!! How's that gonna work out? Why has Counter-Earth's Reed Richards turned evil? Who is going to rescue the FF and Thundra and Tigra? What's the Wizard's actual plan?!? Tune in tomorrow, true believers, for a special guest appearance by Ronald Reagan, the fastest clothing change in history, and the biggest deus ex machina since the Mother Box!!

The Fourth Member--We Don't Need No Stinkin' Fourth Member!!!

Well, at least they can learn...sort of...from their mistakes.

After nearly a decade of recruiting someone for the Frightful Four who would eventually turn on them...and then doing it again...and yet again...the Wizard has finally figured out an alternate strategy--go without a fourth member!!

Sigh. Aside from the plethora of villains who would line up to join the Frightful Four (see the next Fourth Member entry), aside from the stupidity of of continuing to call yourself the Frightful Four when there are only 3 members, the sad fact is, these mooks couldn't beat the Fantastic Four with four members of their own. So how are they going to fare with only 3?

About as well as you might think.

Ah, but they have sort of a plan. The FF are at a pretty low point right now, as Sue has just announced she's divorcing Reed to marry Namor (SPOILER ALERT--this is actually part of Namor's Melrose Place-like plan--along with launching a massive invasion of the surface world--to convince Sue that she really loves Reed and get them back together. Whatever you say, Gerry Conway). They're physically and emotionally at low ebb, and maybe, just maybe, an ambush might work.

So when the distraught FF return home:

Isn't it about time Reed got some anti-Frightful Four security? How many times are they going to invade the Baxter Building with ease?

And the whole point of Sandman's surprise attack? To trap them in the elevator. Which might be a good plan, if the elevator wasn't full of people who can slither out...

...or rip their way out...

Reed and Sandy have a bit of a slugfest...

...including the cosmic ray-enhanced version of the reach-around:


But once the others arrive, Sandman beats a quick retreat...

...making you wonder what the point of the whole exercise was in the first place. Hey, Wizard, what's up??

Wizard, you're zero for 172 against all heroes. You're "without peer" in strategy all right...

Good question, Sandman. Wizard?



Wizard, Wizard, Wizard...

Anyway, a game of cat and mouse commences throughout the building. First up:

Man, everyone just loooves to remind us about the Paste-Pot Pete name, don't they?


Well, OK, chalk one up for the Frightful Four. Hey, this just might work out!!

Next, the Wizard encounters Medusa and Reed:

Wow...for someone Wizard thought was their "most powerful member," Medusa sure went down easy. Surely, Reed will put up a better fight, right?


One punch? One punch?!?! Man, this divorce business really has Reed off his game. And Wizard--you took two of them down solo?!? Holy crap, they're going to win this time, aren't they?

Not quite yet--Ben and Sandman are going to have a knock-down, drag-out, Kirby-fest:



But before we can get a winner:


OK, I call cheat here. First of all, Thundra never said that back in FF #133, no matter what Roy's editor's note tells us. She left the Frightful Four offscreen!! And the audience never had any hint of any warning to never attack the FF again...so this comes completely out of nowhere.

Secondly, Gerry Conway is ripping off himself & Roy here...back in FF #129, a former member of the Frightful Four turns up out of nowhere to interfere with their attack...and we never get any explanation (at least for several issues) as to why she was even there. And now, a mere 18 months later...a former member of the Frightful Four turns up out of nowhere to interfere with their attack...and we never get any explanation (at least for several issues) as to why she was even there. Re-run much, Gerry?

Plus, now he's made the battle 5 on 3, which throws off the Wizard's genius plan. Ah, well it was doomed to failure, anyway...in part because the Trapster is an idjit:

What, he's never dealt with a flaming opponent before? Sigh...So now Johnny turns the tables and takes out two by himself.


For those keeping score, this is now officially a Frightful Four story, as it has met the minimum requirement of having one or more members caught by the Trapster's own paste.

And Ben and Marko?

Sigh...so close, guys. Maybe going with only three members wasn't the best approach, after all...

You know these guys have attacked too much when Reed has a special prison i the building designed just for the Frightful Four!

As a final note, when Ben questions whether Thundra might still be a covert member of the Frightful Four, Reed proves to be a total idiot:

Uh, Reed, perhaps you want to look up the definition of "traitor" in the dictionary or something, because the fact that she's helping you against the Frightful Four pretty much fits the bill...

The fearsome threesome would take the next couple of years off, but finally (finally!!) come up with a better strategy when they return: they invent American Idol?!?!?

Gerry Conway, Rich Buckler, and Joe Sinnott bring us the Wizard's excellent math skills in Fantastic Four #148 (1974).