Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday Night Fights--MODOK Style!!

No prelude, no lecture, no kvetching (I already did that on this story the other day)--just a straight up Friday Night Fights classic.

Iron Man and Captain America are trying to protect an island with some group-mind super-psychic immortals from being taken over by A.I.M.

Problem? MODOK knows how to take over the psychics remotely... make himself into a big-ass energy mobile MODOK!!

Thus endeth the lesson.

Spacebooger, of course, is a Mental Organism Designed Only for Blogging.

Kurt Busiek & Roger Stern (plot), Mark Waid (script), Patrick Zircher and Randy Emberlin crafted the tale heroes who can disagree without causing a civil war in Iron Man/Captain America '98.

Now vote. Or else MODOK will cry.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

That Ms. Monitor Really Does Get Around!!

As the the DC nu52 continues to spread like the virus in Contagion, that mysterious woman in the purple hood turns up EVERYWHERE. For example, in this week's Herc #8:

AHHHHH!!! She's everywhere!! She's invading my Marvel comics now!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!



Never mind.

Things That Make Me Smile--Zombie Finest Hour

Why I Love Comics, Chapter MMDXXVIII--Warren Ellis' idea of what a zombified British fighter pilot would say while attacking an American Quinjet (click to embiggen to full glory):

He's probably right...

From Secret Avengers #17

Things That Make Me Smile--Cosmo Again

Why I Love Comics, Chapter MCMLXIV:

Cosmo, the telepathic Russian dog with a sonic bark who lives inside the head of a dead Celestial and commands a crew of cosmic-powered heroes.

I know I've talked about Cosmo before. But I mean, c'mon, what's not to love?

From Annihilators: Earthfall #1

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What If...Civil War Had Been Written By Folks Who Understood The Characters?

In Iron Man/Captain America '98, Kurt Busiek and Roger Stern (plot) and Mark Waid (script) set up the following situation:

After thwarting a plot by Mentallo to take over every mind on Earth by using his telepathy and the "World Wide Web" (hey, it was 1998), Tony Stark takes advantage of the failed plot to...

So, he erases knowledge of his secret ID from every mind on Earth.

Captain America, however, is not pleased:

Well, they bicker back and forth throughout the entire annual about freedom and civil rights and such, while battling A.I.M. and M.O.D.O.K., until Cap is forced to make a similar decision vis-a-vis giving a group their freedom of choice or letting them die (long story):

So, tough decisions are made, bad guys are thwarted. And the result of Iron Man and Cap's contentious political debate over rights and freedom is a 7-issue miniseries with long battles, heroes murdering other heroes, and heroes acting out of character, right?

5 panels?? They put their differences aside, decided they were "on the same side," shook hands--in just 5 panels?!? No protracted event?? No "this changes everything" series? No 11-issue companion series to show how this affected everyone else in the Marvel Universe?? No decompression, no attempt to milk us for as much money as possible?

Geez, Busiek, Stern and wonder you're not "Marvel Architects."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Romance comics give us some of the relationships:

Let's summarize:
  • Despite apparently being broke, our unnamed heroine gave her sister money for a wedding gift. And not just money--cash!!
  • Even though Jane and Ted live a life of "drudgery" and "they can't afford it," they haven't spent that cash yet, and just have it lying around the apartment
  • Our heroine bemoans the fact that she can't afford to go to a fancy resort, only a "cheap" one, where she'd have to "compete" against "office girls."
  • Jane decides that the best way to spend the money is to finance her sister's husband-seeking expedition, so she "can marry a rich boy" and then return the money--no doubt with interest!!
I guess in a 1970s DC romance comic, pimping out financing your sister so she can find a rich husband just good family values!!

SPOILER ALERT: Our heroine does hook up with a rich boor, but discovers she's really in love with the poor but handsome sailing instructor. So much for Jane's investment!!

From Girls' Love Stories #159 (1971)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Manic Monday--When To Kiss A Boy

Of all the many problems plaguing young women of the early 1970s, perhaps none was more vexing than...

Fortunately, DC Comics was there to help, with this helpful text page in Girls' Love Stories #159 (1971). For example:

Of course, later on the page...

But just told me to....I mean...what if he's "downhearted and depressed" and that means he's "not in the mood"??? Man, this is more complicated than I thought!

More advice:

But you just told me to kiss him at the bus station and airport!!! That's a public display of affection, right?? This is so confusing!!

Now wait a minute, helpful lifestyle text page!! You're contradicting yourself here!!

OK, one more try...

Good thought...but...

So...kiss him whenever you've had a good date...but don't kiss him too that's means there's lots of "not wonderful" evenings in this relationship? Or they're all wonderful, but you don't go out too often so you don't risk "cheapening" your kisses?? But...wait...uhhh...



Man, I am so not cut out to be a 1970s teenage girl...

Yes, all of these tips came from the exact same page, although I did alter the order a bit...

Of course, given last week's DC output, these days the column might be entitled "Do You Know When To..." Nah, I won't go there. Oh, wait, I just did...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bold Fashion Choices--Proper Kissing Apparel

"What's wrong with us?" Gee-it couldn't have anything to do with the clothes you're wearing, could it? It looks like you're dressed for your Legion Of Super-Hero auditions!

Bonus interracial cooking tip:

Soul food is GROOVY!!

From Girls' Romance Stories #159 (1971)

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Self-Awareness Saturday--Batman #1

Almost certainly I'm misreading this...

...clearly I'm wrong...

...but I'm pretty sure that Bruce Wayne's little speech here... intended as a metaphor for DC's New 52 initiative...

...and probably the first meeting with DC staff...

...went a little like this...

...but I'm probably wrong, so never mind.