Monday, September 30, 2013

Manic Monday Double Triple Overtime--Clip And Save!!

Because Slay Monstrobot is run by a crack team of people who care about you, the reader, we present a present for you, expense be damned:

Sure, this particular calender configuration won't come around again until 2021, but that's the beauty of the internet age--just look up this post again in 7 1/4 years, and hey, free calender!!

From Lois Lane #108 (1971)

Manic Monday Double Secret Probation--What If Match.Com Existed in 1888 Whitechapel?

The dream wedding of Lois Lane:


I know, some of you are thinking--the Gentleman Ghost? Nice guess, but--duh--no monocle.

So who is it? You wouldn't believe me if I just told you, so I guess I'd better show you.

A mysterious ghost has been hanging around, protecting Lois from criminals, and haunting her dreams (which is where the cover scene comes from). And...

Well, that's troubling...especially since:

And that night:

And, because lightning hitting a haunted dagger has always been a way to travel through time...

And where does she end up?

Say what?!?

And then Kal-El shows up...

And our completely convincing final page of ad hoc explanations:

So, the ghost of Jack The Ripper fell in love with Lois, possessed her, brought her back in time so his undeceased self could kill her, but then he couldn't kill her because she wasn't a prostitute.

Hey, kids, COMICS!!

From Lois Lane #108 (1971)

Manic Monday--Career Counseling

In these troubled economic times, I have stumbled across a career choice that's available for you:

I can see the fun part:

I mean, who wouldn't want to make hand shadows of Richard Nixon? Great fun!

But where does the "make money" part come in?

Room for hundreds of hand-shadow entertainers? Hell, yeah, that's a market waiting to be tapped!!

But do I need a lot of equipment?

Show biz career? Yesssss!!!!

But what can I do besides images of Nixon?\

A monkey scratching the neck of a giraffe?!?! Let the money start pouring in!!

Ad from Lois Lane #108 (1971)

Sunday, September 29, 2013

I Suspect That Superman Wonder Woman #1 Will Go A Little Something Like This...

Look, I've got no insider sources or special review copy or anything...but I'm willing to bet that Superman/Wonder Woman #1 will go a little something like this:

Wonder Woman shows up to rescue Plastic Man and company from Ra's Al Ghul...but there's that damned Lazarus Pit...

Uh-oh...shouldn't have mentioned Bruce...

No, Superman/Wonder Woman #1 could never be that good, could it? Maybe they'll use it for Man Of Steel 2: Batman Vs. Superman (With A Special Rumored Guest Appearance By Wonder Woman).

Probably not, though.

From Plastic Man #20 (2006), by Kyle Baker...

Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Day Of No News

It's a slow news day in Metropolis, and Morgan Edge isn't happy about it:

So our intrepid reporters go try to find some news. But...

In the entire city? Really?



So, no news in the entire city!!

I guess that would would be news in and of itself, no?

No, I guess not. And instead of, say, hopping over to Gotham to help fight crime there, Lois and Superman go on a romantic boat trip and end of traveling to the far future to overthrow the tyrannical Upmen who use an alien drug to oppress the Downmen, because drugs are bad and it's not at all a strained analogy to 1971's drug issues. All because "militants" feeding slum children milk isn't news. The end.

From Lois Lane #117 (1971)

Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday Night Fights--Interrupted Bath Style!!

Tonight, I'm going to keep the identity of our Friday Night Fight combatant a secret for awhile...because I'm in a puckish mood!

As we begin, a bunch of jet-pack wearing, heavily armed goombas are on a stealth mission to someone's penthouse...



Oh, dear. His face is on fire!! Never, ever interrupt Natasha's bath time. Ever.

Still, however great she is, it's still just one woman versus a whole team with weapons and jetpacks and helicopters and...

Oh. Never mind.

Spacebooger is picturing Scarlett Johansson doing this scene...

The Black Widow goes crazy on some very rude S.H.I.E.L.D. idiots in Marvel Fanfare #10 (1983), by Ralph Macchio (co-plot and script), George Perez (co-plot and pencils) and Brett Breeding

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Well, do you want Natasha pissed at you? No? Than go vote!!