No lies--this isn't just the
bestest Kid Eternity story ever,,,it the bestest
comic book story ever!!
It takes a while for Kid to get involved--because first we have
SCIENCE--
Golden Age science!!
See, I bet you never realized what the hell was going on every single time you gazed in the mirror. Well,
Hans Von Kelm is about to show you!
"
The linear curves of space"!
SCIENCE!!
"
The convexity of the spatial line!"
SCIENCE!!
So if the mirror isn't a mirror any more, what is it?
Uh-oh...
You say that like it's a
good thing, doc!
OMG,
he talks!!!!!!!
Well, apparently the bureaucracy in
Eternity has gotten a lot more streamlined, because Von Kelm is only dead a couple of minutes before he goes screaming for...
Kid and
Keeper are skeptical...until they head down to his lab and find:
How to stop the invasion of
talking interdimensional apes?
Perseus!!
Unfortunately, while he's pretty good at killing gorgons, Perseus is
crap at killing talking interdimensional apes...
Kid's not having much more luck...
But how?
Wait--now they're
telepathic talking interdimensional apes!!
OMG!
Good one, Kid!!
But Perseus is still in trouble!
Smash the mirror,
Tommy Kid Eternity!!
Time for theorizing...
SCIENCE!!!!
But
Dr. Zaius hasn't gone far...
Well, he tracks down Von Kelm's rival...
The monkey-man is a
bit homicidal...
Well, everyone knows that the
only person who can track down telepathic talking interdimensional apes is...
Nostradamus!! This is his
second summoning!!
And he's quite helpful...
But are they too late?
OMG, this story is so good,
it's like they filmed my dreams!
But if you can't stab them or shoot them, whom do you call to conk these beasts on the head?
Generic
Neanderthal!!
But Dr. Zauis gets away--
again!
Wow, thank heavens that happened
off screen!
Time for more theorizing!
So, their world became uninhabitable when, for example, a talking human set off a doomsday nuclear device that shattered their planet? Just for example...
Meanwhile, back in Eternity...
Wait
wait WAIT!!!
Keeper
knows the future?!? How?!?
And if history is
preordained, why did you bother stopping the telepathic talking interdimensional apes from invading? They couldn't have succeeded anyway, if it's all set, right?!?!
And if Keeper is correct, someone who is turning
30 this year is going to solve the problems of the linear curves of space-time, and we could be facing another invasion of telepathic talking interdimensional apes!! We're doomed!!
This was the
45th Kid Eternity story, and here are our standings:
| Achilles |
4 |
| Mercury |
4 |
| Atlas |
3 |
| Corbett, Jim |
3 |
| Leander |
3 |
| Antony, Marc |
2 |
| Arthur, King |
2 |
| Bunyan, Paul |
2 |
| Byron, George Gordon |
2 |
| Cody, “Buffalo” Bill |
2 |
| Columbus, Christopher |
2 |
| D'artagnan |
2 |
| Ericson, Leif |
2 |
| Hercules |
2 |
| Holmes, Sherlock |
2 |
| Houdini |
2 |
| Lister, Joseph |
2 |
| Milo Of Croton |
2 |
| Nostradamus |
2 |
| Porthos |
2 |
| Rin-Tin-Tin |
2 |
| Robin Hood |
2 |
| Samson |
2 |
| Silver, Long John |
2 |
| Sullivan, John L. |
2 |
| Washington, George |
2 |
| Webster, Daniel |
2 |
| Abu |
1 |
| Aramis |
1 |
| Arnold, Benedict |
1 |
| Astor, John Jacob |
1 |
| Athos |
1 |
| Attila The Hun |
1 |
| Attucks, Crispin |
1 |
| Baker, Lafayette |
1 |
| Barry's father |
1 |
| Barton, Clara |
1 |
| Bernhardt, Sarah |
1 |
| Bertillon, Alphonse |
1 |
| Blackhawk |
1 |
| Bluebeard |
1 |
| Bolivar, Simon |
1 |
| Boone, Daniel |
1 |
| Bowie, Jim |
1 |
| Boyd, Belle |
1 |
| Brady, Diamond Jim |
1 |
| Breitbart, Zishe |
1 |
| Bucephalus |
1 |
| Caesar, Octavian |
1 |
| Cagliostro, Alessandro |
1 |
| Calhoun, John C. |
1 |
| Canary, Martha “Calamity” |
1 |
| Cannon, John W. |
1 |
| Capulet, Juliet |
1 |
| Carden, Foster |
1 |
| Carpenter, Daniel |
1 |
| Cherry Sisters |
1 |
| Clancy, Patrick |
1 |
| Cleopatra |
1 |
| Colt, Samuel |
1 |
| Crockett, Davy |
1 |
| Cronson, Gerald |
1 |
| Crusoe, Robinson |
1 |
| Custer, George Armstrong |
1 |
| de Bergerac, Cyrano |
1 |
| de Leon, Ponce |
1 |
| de Rais, Gilles |
1 |
| Decatur, Stephen |
1 |
| Discus Thrower |
1 |
| Dockstader, Lew |
1 |
| Dracula |
1 |
| Drake, Sir Francis |
1 |
| Dupin, C. Auguste |
1 |
| Edison, Thomas |
1 |
| Emery |
1 |
| Frankenstein's Monster |
1 |
| Franklin, Ben |
1 |
| Galahad |
1 |
| Geronimo |
1 |
| Gotch, Frank |
1 |
| Gothicus, Claudius |
1 |
| Grant, Ulysses S. |
1 |
| Greb, Harry |
1 |
| Griffiths, Albert |
1 |
| Hamilton, Alexander |
1 |
| Hatfield, John |
1 |
| Hauser, Kaspar |
1 |
| Henry, Patrick |
1 |
| Hermann, Alexander |
1 |
| Hickathrift, Tom |
1 |
| Hickok, Wild Bill |
1 |
| Hippocrates |
1 |
| Hopkins, Matthew |
1 |
| Houston, Sam |
1 |
| Hyde, Edward |
1 |
| Hyer, Tom |
1 |
| Jackson, Andrew |
1 |
| James, Jesse |
1 |
| Javert |
1 |
| Jeffries, Jim |
1 |
| Jones, John Paul |
1 |
| Jove |
1 |
| Khan, Genghis |
1 |
| Kidd, William |
1 |
| Lafayette, General |
1 |
| Lancelot |
1 |
| Laughing Cavalier |
1 |
| Lee, Robert E. |
1 |
| Legree, Simon |
1 |
| Leonidas |
1 |
| Light Brigade |
1 |
| Lincoln, Abraham |
1 |
| Marable, Fate |
1 |
| Masterson, Bat |
1 |
| Minutemen |
1 |
| Mix, Tom |
1 |
| Montague, Romeo |
1 |
| Montezuma |
1 |
| Morgan, Henry |
1 |
| Mulgrew, Jason |
1 |
| Murphy, Charles |
1 |
| Napoleon |
1 |
| Nation, Carrie |
1 |
| Neanderthal |
1 |
| Nightingale, Florence |
1 |
| Noah |
1 |
| Nobel, Alfred |
1 |
| Nobody |
1 |
| O'Brien, David |
1 |
| Oakley, Annie |
1 |
| Og |
1 |
| Osceola |
1 |
| Paddock, Charley |
1 |
| Penelope |
1 |
| Perseus |
1 |
| Pheidippides |
1 |
| Pinkerton, Allan |
1 |
| Plastic Man |
1 |
| Post, Wiley |
1 |
| Prometheus |
1 |
| Quixote, Don |
1 |
| Revere, Paul |
1 |
| Richard the LionHeart |
1 |
| Robespierre, Maximilien |
1 |
| Rogers' Rangers |
1 |
| Russell, Lillian |
1 |
| Rustum |
1 |
| Ryan, Paddy |
1 |
| Sandow, Eugen |
1 |
| Sayers, Tom |
1 |
| Schleyer, Johann |
1 |
| Siegfried |
1 |
| Skunk, Jimmy |
1 |
| Socrates |
1 |
| Solomon |
1 |
| Tecumseh |
1 |
| Tell, William |
1 |
| Thalfi |
1 |
| Thor |
1 |
| Thumb, Tom |
1 |
| Thurston, Howard |
1 |
| Tiglath IV |
1 |
| Tuck, Friar |
1 |
| Tut-ankh-amen |
1 |
| Twain, Mark |
1 |
| Ulysses |
1 |
| Uncas |
1 |
| Vercingetorix |
1 |
| Villa, Pancho |
1 |
| Villon, Francois |
1 |
| Vulcan |
1 |
| Xanthippe |
1 |
| Zbyzko, Stanislaus |
1 |
NEXT--Kid Eternity Vs.
The Mole Man!!
From Hit Comics #49 (1947)
