Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Why Americans Are Better Monster Hunters Than The British

A lesson in cross-Atlantic monster hunting:

...and when he arrives at a not-at-all stereotypical England...

But wait...

So not only are the English not-sufficiently armed, they're fraidy cats, scared by a guy in a costume.

Hey, I didn't say it--John Stevens said it! Are you gonna mess with him?!?

From Scary Tales #42 (1984)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Tales From The Quarter Bin--The Lyingest Cover Of All Time

Sometimes the Quarter Bin can introduce you to heroes you've never heard of:

The Human Fly? OK, you know me, I'm always game to read up on obscure mystery men. Let's turn to the first story, which obviously will star the Human Fly!!

Oh, OK, that's Blue Beetle. That's all right...our Human Fly isn't egotistical, and he can give up the lead-off spot to another hero. Let's turn to the next story, which surely features our cover hero:

OK, it's a little 2-page solve-it-yourself mystery feature. No problem. Human Fly is *obviously* next, right?

Nope, it's private detective Earthquake Jones (great name, BTW) and his sidekick Rusty Ringle.

Time is running out, but surely they've been saving the best for last, and saving our titanic title character for the final story:

Bronze Man?!?

So Human Fly #1 (1958) doesn't actually have so much as even a single mention of anyone named Human Fly?

And, upon closer inspection, it turns out that this issue is pretty much a complete reprint of Fox's Blue Beetle #44 (1946)!!


Well, a closer look at the cover reveals:

Oh, that explains a lot.

I.W. Publications was known for being, well, um, kind of, er...let's just quote the Wikipedia article: "I.W. Publications were notable for publishing unauthorized reprints of other company's properties...Usually these companies were out of business, but not always."

Oh, you bad bad boys.

So Human Fly #1 pretty clearly wins the title of Lyingest Cover Of All Time, for promising a hero who never actually existed to mask the fact that they were involved in a wee bit of intellectual property misappropriation, not to mention selling a reprint comic as new.

Further testament to I.W.'s somewhat fly-by-night practices? Human Fly #1 came out in 1958. The next issue I.W. published was #10 (!!) in 1963!!

And once again, it was completely composed of other people's reprints, this time Blue Beetle #46 (1947). At least the cover was a teensy bit more honest this time...

Monday, October 29, 2012

Manic Monday Bonus--Clark's New Cheerleader Buddy!


Whatever your opinion of the other events of Superman #13, and whatever your opinion of various previous incarnations of Cat Grant, it probably isn't a good thing that they've made her a bubble-headed cheerleader with a particularly impossibly-proportioned body.

Kenneth Rocafort seems to have gotten a pass on making every woman in this book into a cheesecake model (in fairness, there's a fair amount of beefcake, too--oh, Jimmy!!). As I tweeted last night, if he had drawn Babs or Lois or Diana or Selina this way, there would have been an internet furor. Cat? Oh, she's just a supporting character, and now she's a ditz, so it must be OK...

Manic Monday--What Clark Kent SHOULD Have Said

Click to embiggen to full rant size:

From...oh, you all know where this was from...

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Clark Kent Is Mad As Hell, And He's Not Going To Take It Anymore!!

Stage One in the evil "news has been replaced by entertainment" process, despite what Scott Lobdell might want you to think, actually began 40 years ago:

Ohs nos!! Personality? In the news?!?!?! That Morgan Edge really has destroyed journalism!!!

Then, of course, there is the Stanismov acting school:

Oh, you may laugh...but the process certainly had results:

Spoiler alert: it wasn't the acting lessons!!

Nope, Lex Luthor concluded that the only reason Superman beat him every time was that Lex's overwhelming hatred of Kal-El overcame him, and the emotion caused him to be less than the perfect super-brain he is. So he found a way to transfer all of his hatred into Superman, and now the Kryptonian is a seething cauldron of anger, who makes mistakes (and livens up the newscasts).

Ah, but as per usual, Superman has a convenient out (that was set up earlier in the comic, in fairness):


Well, thank heavens for timely science projects that were never mentioned again!!

And thank heavens for timely critics of modern journalism, which have never EVER been made before, right, Scott Lobdell?

From Action Comics #423 (1973)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Things You Didn't Know About Jughead, Chapter 32

I'll bet that you thought you knew all there was to know about Jughead Jones, didn't you?


Sure, he's into food...but he's also into:


(Also, Riverdale has an anime shop? Go figure...)

Manga, too??? Jughead, we hardly knew ye.

But Jughead also reveals the secret we always knew in our heart: anime and manga will help you pick up chicks!

So Jughead has a new friend!!

But least you think the world has shifted its axis or such, despite the anime and manga, he's still good ol' Jughead at heart:

From Archie's Pal Jughead #87 (1996)

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday Night Fights--SPANGG Style!!

Friday Night Fights time!!

Situation: Ares and Pluto have kidnapped a barely-legal Asgardian goddess, and framed Hercules for the deed.

So Odin sends Thor to Olympus for a mighty reckoning...and after tearing up the Greek undercard, it's time for the main event:

Fortunately for Herc, this is when Zeus (finally) decides to step in with a "what madness doth this be" speech.

Spacebooger is just glad Thor didn't have to face this guy:

Thor and Hercules churn out the sound effects in Thor #221 (1974), courtesy of Gerry Conway, John Buscema and Mike Esposito.

Now is the time for you to go and vote!! And vote for my fight!! Or else I'll send you spam emails trashing my opponents!! So vote!!