Man, if there's anything I like better than a Red Tornado story,it's a Red Tornado story where the bad guys spout bad Marxism at you the whole time!!
Red Tornado is malfunctioning so badly that he can't use the JLA teleporter or signal device to get help--but he apparently is well enough to use the telephone to call a local electronics store to see if they have a tool he needs, and take a bus down there.
Yeah, makes no sense, but Red Tornado, right?
Unfortunately, the electronics shop has been taken over by...Marxist terrorists!!
Yes, they are laying it on thick. Thank you, Gerry Conway.
Don't worry...Red Tornado to the rescue!
Sigh...
Don't worry...Reddy has his second wind!
Nice prioritizing there, pal--get the costume changed first, then go after the terrorists. Sigh...
Prepare yourself for discussion that's more Marx Brothers than Marx:
I guess we have to rely on the civilian to save the super-hero!
Well, that was pretty bad.
I guess the lesson is that, when even a malfunctioning Red Tornado can beat you, your political philosophy might be doomed.
From World's Finest Comics #269 (1981)
Showing posts with label Red Tornado. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Red Tornado. Show all posts
Monday, December 11, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
April Madness, 2nd Semifinal--Those Wonderful Toys!!
It's the second semifinal of The Seven Justice Soldiers Of The Victory League Society!!
Last time was pretty easy for....
Will they work up a bigger sweat against a lot of analysts' sleeper pick?
As the action begins, Batman pulls a device out of his belt, presses a button, and...and...
Oh dear heavens, Red Tornado has just turned into on OMAC!! Batman, who invented OMACs, has found a way to weaponize it to take over Red Tornado!!
Oh, god, the humanity!!! OMAC is just pummeling the living hell out of Zatanna and Flash!! This is brutal!! Team Batman is just sitting around watching....!!
And that's it!! Officials have called the fight!! Once again, Team Batman got maximum beatdown for minimum effort!!
Remember, we did warn you earlier the Red Tornado was potentially this team's Achilles heel--and we were right!!
Will tricks like that work against Team Superman, though? Turn in tomorrow morning for the riveting final!!
Last time was pretty easy for....
Will they work up a bigger sweat against a lot of analysts' sleeper pick?
As the action begins, Batman pulls a device out of his belt, presses a button, and...and...
Oh dear heavens, Red Tornado has just turned into on OMAC!! Batman, who invented OMACs, has found a way to weaponize it to take over Red Tornado!!
Oh, god, the humanity!!! OMAC is just pummeling the living hell out of Zatanna and Flash!! This is brutal!! Team Batman is just sitting around watching....!!
And that's it!! Officials have called the fight!! Once again, Team Batman got maximum beatdown for minimum effort!!
Remember, we did warn you earlier the Red Tornado was potentially this team's Achilles heel--and we were right!!
Will tricks like that work against Team Superman, though? Turn in tomorrow morning for the riveting final!!
Posted by
snell
at
8:30 AM
1 comments
Labels:
April Madness,
Batman,
Flash (Barry Allen),
Hour-Man,
OMAC,
Red Tornado,
Starman,
Zatanna
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
April Madness Round IV--The Weakest Link!!
It's the final preliminary battle
in The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!! Which grouping of heroes will reign supreme?!?
This is the most fascinating battle of all the first rounders, featuring
vs.
Now, Flash and Zatanna are pretty powerful. I toyed with making them a higher seed, but...well, there's Red Tornado.
You know with all your being that, at some point, Red Tornado is going to start crying, or self-destruct, or get taken over by someone. Everyone knows this:
It's just a question of whether it happens during one of our battles our not. So our third seed has a significant handicap.
Then again, so does the other team.
More than one of you suggested that the Thunderbolt is so powerful, his team should just win automatically. As commentator Mista Whiskas put it, "The Thunderbolt could just will all the teams out of existence, right?"
Well, yes...except for one thing. The Thunderbolt can't operate independently. He has to wait from order from Johnny Thunder, who is, well, as stupid as a bag of stupid hammers:
I mean come on, you're saying plenty of two and three syllable words, but the hiccups mean you can't get out "Cei-U"?!?!?
It's an illustration of snell's Third Law Of Comic writing: The more powerful your character, the STUPIDER the obstacles you have to create to keep him from solving the dilemma in one panel. So, Thunderbolt is powerful, yes. But wielded by a moron.
Which means this battle goes about as you'd expect. Zatanna immediately shuts Johnny up ("!htuom s'ynnhoJ no raeppa gaG"). Flash creates a speed vacuum so no one can hear Canary's scream. And hey, Red Tornado doesn't malfunction this time around, deflecting all of Ollie's arrows with his wind while Flash gives him a love tap.
Team Flash/Zatanna/Red Tornado is pretty powerful...but can they take on Batman's group? Find out tomorrow, as we head for the semi-finals!!
This is the most fascinating battle of all the first rounders, featuring
vs.
Now, Flash and Zatanna are pretty powerful. I toyed with making them a higher seed, but...well, there's Red Tornado.
You know with all your being that, at some point, Red Tornado is going to start crying, or self-destruct, or get taken over by someone. Everyone knows this:
It's just a question of whether it happens during one of our battles our not. So our third seed has a significant handicap.
Then again, so does the other team.
More than one of you suggested that the Thunderbolt is so powerful, his team should just win automatically. As commentator Mista Whiskas put it, "The Thunderbolt could just will all the teams out of existence, right?"
Well, yes...except for one thing. The Thunderbolt can't operate independently. He has to wait from order from Johnny Thunder, who is, well, as stupid as a bag of stupid hammers:
I mean come on, you're saying plenty of two and three syllable words, but the hiccups mean you can't get out "Cei-U"?!?!?
It's an illustration of snell's Third Law Of Comic writing: The more powerful your character, the STUPIDER the obstacles you have to create to keep him from solving the dilemma in one panel. So, Thunderbolt is powerful, yes. But wielded by a moron.
Which means this battle goes about as you'd expect. Zatanna immediately shuts Johnny up ("!htuom s'ynnhoJ no raeppa gaG"). Flash creates a speed vacuum so no one can hear Canary's scream. And hey, Red Tornado doesn't malfunction this time around, deflecting all of Ollie's arrows with his wind while Flash gives him a love tap.
Team Flash/Zatanna/Red Tornado is pretty powerful...but can they take on Batman's group? Find out tomorrow, as we head for the semi-finals!!
Posted by
snell
at
8:30 AM
1 comments
Labels:
April Madness,
Black Canary,
Flash (Barry Allen),
Green Arrow,
Johnny Thunder,
Red Tornado,
Zatanna
Thursday, March 5, 2015
So Say We All, Kal-El, So Say We All!
Even post-Silver Age, Superman could bring the dickery:
Not a dream, not a hoax, not an imaginary tale!!
Reddy is just chillin' around his crib, you see, when...
Yes, Kryptonians have the power of super-loud voices!
You know, you can't say he's wrong...
None of the guys were members of the Justice League at this point...this was the Detroit era!! So this was just a random collection of heroes just deciding to show up and diss on Red Tornado!!
Oh, it was later revealed that they were being controlled by The Construct. At least, that's the excuse they gave him..."It was The Construct, Tornado...yeah, that's the ticket!!"
From Red Tornado #1 (1985)
Not a dream, not a hoax, not an imaginary tale!!
Reddy is just chillin' around his crib, you see, when...
Yes, Kryptonians have the power of super-loud voices!
You know, you can't say he's wrong...
None of the guys were members of the Justice League at this point...this was the Detroit era!! So this was just a random collection of heroes just deciding to show up and diss on Red Tornado!!
Oh, it was later revealed that they were being controlled by The Construct. At least, that's the excuse they gave him..."It was The Construct, Tornado...yeah, that's the ticket!!"
From Red Tornado #1 (1985)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
And Then There Was That Time Red Tornado Fought Devil Dinosaur While The Super Friends Watched
OK, I lied again.
That's obviously not Devil Dinosaur--this story takes place several months before his debut--but still, it's Red Tornado fighting a dinosaur. That's gotta count for something, right?
The evil Grax has planted bombs all over the world, and in this 3-part story, the Justice League has teamed up withlame exciting "heroes of various lands" to find and defuse them.
First up in this, the middle issue? The Atom and...
Boring.
Next?
You know, this is a team-up that really should have occurred...
All right, so now I have a story in my head where the Guardians came to ancient Earth and were mistaken for fairy folk and...
Enough!! Next!!
Tuatara??? Who the...?
Well, for once, some actually correct DC Science, as that lizard does indeed have three eyes...
...and there goes the correct science out the window. Sigh...
Oh, and "Superman explained how to break the time barrier" to Red Tornado, so...
Great, that's all we need...a whiny android who screws everything up who can travel in time. Nothing could possibly go wrong there...
Meanwhile...
No, Bushmaster is not just a frat boy nickname from Animal House...just look how useful this guy is!
All kinds of wrong, but so cool...
Finally, perhaps the most annoying team-up ever:
Because who wouldn't want to hang out with these two?
Egads...
More on the tale of titanic transcontinental team-ups some other time...
From Super Friends #8 (1977)
That's obviously not Devil Dinosaur--this story takes place several months before his debut--but still, it's Red Tornado fighting a dinosaur. That's gotta count for something, right?
The evil Grax has planted bombs all over the world, and in this 3-part story, the Justice League has teamed up with
First up in this, the middle issue? The Atom and...
Boring.
Next?
You know, this is a team-up that really should have occurred...
All right, so now I have a story in my head where the Guardians came to ancient Earth and were mistaken for fairy folk and...
Enough!! Next!!
Tuatara??? Who the...?
Well, for once, some actually correct DC Science, as that lizard does indeed have three eyes...
...and there goes the correct science out the window. Sigh...
Oh, and "Superman explained how to break the time barrier" to Red Tornado, so...
Great, that's all we need...a whiny android who screws everything up who can travel in time. Nothing could possibly go wrong there...
Meanwhile...
No, Bushmaster is not just a frat boy nickname from Animal House...just look how useful this guy is!
All kinds of wrong, but so cool...
Finally, perhaps the most annoying team-up ever:
Because who wouldn't want to hang out with these two?
Egads...
More on the tale of titanic transcontinental team-ups some other time...
From Super Friends #8 (1977)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Slummin' With Red Tornado
As you've no doubt noticed, I've been stumbling across lots of DC stories lately that are set in "the ghetto."
Well, that synchronicity continues, as I pick up the very first Red Tornado solo story ever (!), and he ends up...
...visiting the slums of Gotham City!
Why?!? Just because, I guess!!
Well, Reddy escorts the old woman home, and protects her from 7 different muggings (I exaggerate), while writer JM Dematteis and artists Jose Delbo and Joe Giella emphasize to us just how squalid this particular neighborhood is:
Well, while trying to understand the concept of poor people, RT goes with the old woman to church:
Uh-oh...
Jim Lee, Dan DiDio, Geoff Johns--you MUST revive this guy for the nu52. Please?
So, what's Mr. Kool's problem with a poor church?
Of course, Red Tornado puts a kibosh on this, and then we get a scene ripped off from Superman Grounded:
I kid...if this were Grounded, Tornado would at this point send a 10 year old to deliver a threatening message to our violent villain. Fortunately, Red Tornado is not that heroic.
But the old woman? Don't mess with her!
Wait--Mr. Kool is firing his thugs...because they couldn't take out a member of the Justice League? That's a pretty high bar for a numbers operator. "You couldn't take out The Flash? Fired!!" Dude, Luthor's not that strict!
But all's well that ends well:
Yeah, he's a GOOD thug who steals churches and beats up parishioners!! And he had a hard life!!
And we conclude:
Hey!! That's the Vision's shtick!! He's the android that gets to cry, not you!!
From Detective Comics #493 (1980)
Well, that synchronicity continues, as I pick up the very first Red Tornado solo story ever (!), and he ends up...
...visiting the slums of Gotham City!
Why?!? Just because, I guess!!
Well, Reddy escorts the old woman home, and protects her from 7 different muggings (I exaggerate), while writer JM Dematteis and artists Jose Delbo and Joe Giella emphasize to us just how squalid this particular neighborhood is:
Well, while trying to understand the concept of poor people, RT goes with the old woman to church:
Uh-oh...
O.M.G.
Jim Lee, Dan DiDio, Geoff Johns--you MUST revive this guy for the nu52. Please?
So, what's Mr. Kool's problem with a poor church?
Of course, Red Tornado puts a kibosh on this, and then we get a scene ripped off from Superman Grounded:
I kid...if this were Grounded, Tornado would at this point send a 10 year old to deliver a threatening message to our violent villain. Fortunately, Red Tornado is not that heroic.
But the old woman? Don't mess with her!
Wait--Mr. Kool is firing his thugs...because they couldn't take out a member of the Justice League? That's a pretty high bar for a numbers operator. "You couldn't take out The Flash? Fired!!" Dude, Luthor's not that strict!
But all's well that ends well:
Yeah, he's a GOOD thug who steals churches and beats up parishioners!! And he had a hard life!!
And we conclude:
Hey!! That's the Vision's shtick!! He's the android that gets to cry, not you!!
From Detective Comics #493 (1980)
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