Manic Monday Bonus--What Is Kang, Chopped Liver?!?

You know who gets no respect, at least in the MCU?

Yeah, that's right. Kang. Kang The Conqueror.

Sure, he's not as shiny as Ultron, or as "oooh, scary" as Johnny-come-lately Thanos...

...but Kang has been bedeviling the Avengers since long before those others were a gleam in anyone's eyes.

Yeah, I know, the timey-wimey multiple identity stuff makes people's heads hurt. But that's the beauty of the MCU--you can introduce him fresh, without any of that baggage. And once you do that, the premise is easy and appealing--warlord from the future who wants to conquer the past by beating Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

So I'm hoping that Avengers: Infinity War ends with Thanos being beaten, but then Kang showing up to reveal he's been the master manipulator this whole time, leading into Avengers IV: The Quest For Peace (or whatever).

'Nuff said!

Mad Rick Jones--Fury Road!

Because on some rainy Sunday mornings...

...you need to see Rick Jones, Kang, and the Kree Supreme Intelligence swooping in to save the day, loaded for bear on a time-traveling, dimension hopping "Supreme-Cycle."

Because goddamn, I love comics.

BTW, I might have missed something...but I'm pretty sure that Rick Jones has never had his own comic book. Am I wrong, did I miss some one-shot title sometime?

I mean, even flipping Snapper Carr got his own dang one-shot, as leaser of The Blasters.

Rick Jones: There at the birth of the Hulk, and the birth of the Avengers; he was Captain America's partner; he kinda saved the whole universe during the Kree-Skrull War, and the several universes during the Destiny War; he hung out with ROM; he's been bonded with two different Captain Marvels; he hung with Hulks grey and green; he's run an organization for wayward teen super-heroes; he's actually been both a Hulk and an Abomination; he's had a successful career as author and rock star and TV talk show host. Plus, he rides a Supreme-Cycle with Kang and the Supreme Intelligence.

This is a dude who has touched virtually every corner of the Marvel Universe (and, conveniently for certain Marvel/Disney butthead executives, not too much interaction with the FF/X-Men/Spider-Man branches). Yet Rick Jones has had not one mention in an MCU film, and he's never had his own damned comic book.

Look, Marvel, when this whole Secret Wars square dance at done, you could do a lot worse than to give Rick Jones his own title as a Rosetta Stone for your new-fangled/refurbished/refreshed/don't-you-dare-say-rebooted universe.

From Avengers Forever #10 (1999)

Friday Night Fights--1873 Style!!

OK, I took it easy on everyone last week. But this time, my Friday Night Fight is going for the gold--golden pain, that is.

The time: 1873. Hawkeye, Moondragon, the Two-Gun Kid, and some other Avenger...hmmm, can't remember who...are trying to stop Kang from taking over the past.

Kang's not worried, though:

Great diabolical gloating there, Kang.

What? That mysterious guy? Oh, now I remember who 'twas...




Fasten your safety belt kids, because Thor isn't done yet. He wants to settle this the old fashioned way:



Oh, it is on!!










Uhhh...I guess that means Thor wins!!! Wooo!!

Of course, Spacebooger will probably go back in time to undo this, because he's a huuuuge Kang fan...

Steve Englehart, George Perez and Sam Grainger show Kang losing hard in Avengers #143 (1976).

Now, I'm not saying that you have to go over to Spacebooger's crib and vote for me this week. But really, what better way is there to assure that Kang doesn't return?

Marvel 1964 Week--Avengers #8!!

Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to witness--the birth of continuity.

Well, not literally. But certainly, you will see continuity take a huge step forward here.

Previously, Silver Age books hadn't been so much serials as sitcoms. What happened in one issue/episode had little or no bearing on what happened in subsequent issues/episodes, and indeed was likely never to be mentioned again.

Comics were disposable entertainment, like sitcoms. No one back in the early 60s foresaw collections of comic book runs being published, any more than people saw DVD season sets for I Love Lucy. Unless you had a reprint issue or a clip show, past events were almost never referenced. If Jimmy Olson turned into a giant monkey, it was forgotten by the next issue. If you wanted to have Flash fight Mirror Master but you just threw him in jail and broke his mirrors two issues ago, no problem--just bring him back without explanation. If Carol Ferris almost tricked Green Lantern into proposing one issue, he doesn't throw that back in her face next issue--it's forgotten as if it were an imaginary story.

[Editor's note: I am, of course, exaggerating slightly here, as some Silver Age mags did have some kind of carry over. Just roll with me, OK?]

Which brings us to:

Damn, September 1964 was a rocking month. Kang's first appearance (sorta)?!?

We begin as the Avengers are summoned to a video conference with Pentagon officials! Gasp--how futuristic!!

And our creators:

Look, right there is one reason Marvel quickly became popular--sharing it's creators names, and being playful...it made them seem like friends, while DC was still years away from giving us any credits whatsoever...

Right off the bat, we see that Tony Stark, proto-fascist, is unclear on the concept of democracy:

Dear Iron Man: taking turns ≠ democracy. Thank you.

Meanwhile, it appears that Stark was planning to have couples in the Avengers from the start:

A love seat for Avengers meetings? Really?

The military briefs the Avengers on a mean flying saucer that has landed in Virginia:



Action time!!!

Wait a minute--the Avengers had to fly out of JFK?!? You're kidding me. Ahh, life before Quinjets...

When they finally get there (after sitting on the tarmac for 5 hours), Kang is chillin':

And the Wasp shows why Henry Pym went insane:

Iron Man asks the stupid question, and Kang gives the obvious answer:

Dude, if he's named "The Conqueror," he's not here for peace.

The Avengers attack, but Kang bumfuzzles even Thor...


But wait...the day is saved!!

An undersecretary from the Defense Department!! An undersecretary from the Defense Department!! Oh, my!! Shouldn't we have saved someone so powerful for Galactus?!?

Mr. Undersecretary gets Kang to reveal his origins...

BAM!! There it is...the birth of continuity.

Kang is not only a previous villain who has morphed into a new incarnation. Kang is a villain from another Marvel mag who has morphed into someone new!! We've even got a footnote referencing Fantastic Four Annual #2--which was just out that month!!

It's tough for modern readers to understand how radical this was at the time. Cameos aside, events from one comic almost never carried over in to other mags. Villains almost never crossed over to other heroes books (except for Joker/Luthor team-ups).

Yet here is Stan, asking you to accept events from the Fantastic Four as binding on the Avengers. Here is Stan, assuming that you might want to read these other referenced stories, giving you footnotes to those issues. Suddenly, here is Stan saying this really is a shared universe, and if you read other of our comics, you'll be rewarded.

Yeah, I'm way overhyping the significance here, as other comics had done some of this before. But for my purposes, I chose to view this as kind of a watershed moment, the point at which events in one title could have serious repercussions for another. Comics weren't just isolated sitcom episodes anymore...

Anyway, back to Kang's origin:

Fact: this next panel obviously inspired Idiocracy:


Very stable and not-at-all-crazy Hank Pym has heard enough, and decides to crack Kang open like a crayfish:


Oops. Next lesson: never piss off Thor:


Or Captain America:

Dogpile!!

D'oh!!

Time...for...Shatner...acting:

Kang's demands?

Dear Kang,
You left the 40th century because the men were more primitive and presented you no challenge. Yet you go to the 20th century, were you constantly tell the people how stupid they are, and boast how much more powerful your weapons are...and you expect them to immediately surrender. Where's the challenge?!? According to your rantings, the 40th century was much more of a challenge...
Love, snell.

Well, surely, the undersecretary from the Defense Department can resolve this...

Too big a decision for the undersecretary from the Department of Defense?!?!? That's mind-boggling!!

After the obligatory ethnically-stereotyped UN meeting...

...Rick Jones and the Teen Brigade decide to prove that Kang is a complete dumbass with the old "we want to work for you" ruse.

Rick's idea of a rescue: go around Kang's ship randomly pressing buttons.

Hey, what do you know? It worked!!

Meanwhile, the Wasp and allies have gone to fetch a cool gun.

A special Slay Monstrobot moment: The Very First Geico Commercial!!

Again, Kang, if these guys are no challenge, what's the deal?

Fact: Thor is much stronger than a caveman.


Which allows Giant-Man to get a shot off...


Yes, the key to beating Kang was to mess up his wardrobe!!

Sadly, he escapes...


Oh yes. We'll see him. Again. And again. And again. And again...ad infinitum.

On the letters page, David Calise of Chester, Pennsylvania, is really ticked off at Rick Jones:

Hung from tree? Now, if you had done that, Earth would have perished in the Kree/Skrull war, David. You have to look at these things long term...

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Hard to believe that Giant-Man and the Wasp had their own long-running series, but it's true. Of course, it's also interesting to note that, technically, none of the Avengers at this point had their "own" books: Giant-Man and Wasp were a co-feature in Tales to Astonish; Iron Man was a co-feature in Tales of Suspense; Thor was appearing in Journey Into Mystery (although that was merely a fiction for the U.S. Postal Service, as the mag was now Thor wall to wall); and Cap didn't even have a series (although in two months he would start sharing TOS with Iron Man).

Tales to Astonish #59 saw the Hulk return, and this was the set-up for his run co-starring in TTA. Sadly, because this story technically wasn't part of his own series yet, GITCorp doesn't include this issue on the DVD-Rom set. Grrr.....