Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tales From the Quarter Bin--Superhero Stamp Album!?!

You know, no matter how jaded you are, if you dig through the quarter bin hard enough, you can find something that will blow your mind:

Should i ask what Batman is swinging from??Yes, back in 1998, DC was helping us "celebrate the century" by having the JLA (plus Robin!) star in the "Super Heroes Stamp Album." Look, I'll let the heroes explain the premise to you:

Kids--ruin both the stamps AND the comic book by sticking the stamps in here!!This oddity, a co-production of DC and the U.S. Postal Service (and scripted by Doug Meonch!!), was an effort to teach kids history through combining the two nerdiest pastimes ever: comic collecting and stamp collecting. Apparently the goal was the consolidate the bullies' schedules so they can beat up two nerd groups for the price of one...

Anyway, there were ten volumes, one for each decade. This one dealt with the nineteen-aughts. Through one or two page vignettes, the heroes educated us on various aspects of the history of the decade, each of which just happened to have a stamp representing it, too. Superman taught us about Teddy Roosevelt, Batman covers the 1906 Pure Food and Drugs Act, Robin elucidates the birth of Crayola Crayons, Wonder Woman tells us about the St. Louis World's Fair...15 lessons in all...each with original art and writing.

But in the centerfold, we have a 2-page ad to buy all the stamps and albums from the Post Office. And for some reason, rather than new art, they just re-used stock poses of the heroes, holding stamps. Here's Aquaman, for example:

Looks completely natural holding a giant stamp...The best one, though, is the completely inappropriate Batman picture they use:

Jesus--if he had gooten that worked up over Jason Todd killing people maybe we could have avoided CountdownLessons from this picture:
A) Batman does NOT want you, punk!
B) Batman is pissed at the Freedom Fighters.
C) Buy these stamps or else, kids!!
D) Have some lemonade, Hal.
E) Get your goddamn hands off my goddamn stamps, or I'll goddamn rip out your goddamn spleen, dammit!

Seriously, is making kids wet themselves a good way to sell stamps??

Bonus attraction--from the back cover:

Uh, isn't that mostly 50's slang you're using, doofuses?Because if there's anything that says hip and cool, it's the U.S. Postal Service!! Let...the sun shine! Let...the sunshine in...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh, the irony of an ocean-dweller like Aquaman touting a stamp of the first airplane!