Saturday, February 18, 2012

Martianball

Well, my beloved Cubs start Spring Training today, so I thought it would be fitting to look at one of J'onn J'onzz early cases. Let's take a look at what a Martian feels about the American pastime.

"Big Bob" Michaels is a reformed felon who is about to make his first major league start tomorrow...but some of his former crime buddies have a pretty evil plan:


[Editor's note: we have no idea exactly what power the Martian Manhunter is using here. We're still making them up as we go along at this point in his career]

Yeah, I know, the revelation that he's an ex-con doesn't seem like it would be that big a deal and therefore not terribly good blackmail material. But look, 1950s, OK?

It's been several panels...shouldn't we invent a new power already?

[Editor's note--"peer into the future"?!? Man, we really are pulling powers out of our ass, aren't we?]

Now, in the real world, you'd think that the key to "solving" this case would be to go roust these goons BEFORE the big game, therefore removing the pressure on Big Bob. But J'onzz? He works a bit differently...
So, in the interest of preserving the integrity of the game, J'onn will proceed to make a mockery of the game:

[Editor's note--Martians call telekinesis "molecular hypnosis," because they primitive fools apparently believe they're actually hypnotizing molecules. Losers.]

Yes, J'onn is turning this baseball game into something as ridiculous as that time Bugs Bunny played baseball:



And not satisfied with cheating on defense, J'onn just has to provide the ESPN highlight:




J'onn THEN goes on to catch the crooks. And:

So, attempting to fix games via blackmail and bribery? A serious offense. Fixing ballgames via Martian molecular hypnosis? A-OK.

Hmm, now I think I see a way for my Cubbies to finally win. Oh, J'onn, if you're not too busy with Stormwatch, I've got a proposition for you...

From Detective Comics #226 (1955), as reprinted in World's Finest #226 (!) (1974)

3 comments:

Siskoid said...

Next Christmas, don't miss Brad Pitt as J'Onn J'Onzz in... Martianball.

SallyP said...

I've always loved that J'onn had the power to have whatever power he needed! For that one issue at any rate. I especially like it when he made gold from seawater. And Ice Cream!

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

That is why JJ was always considered stronger than Superman. He made up powers and believed in them, so they worked. He was paralyzed by fire because he saw images of his trickery in the flames.