Sunday, November 27, 2011

Hal Jordan's Rules To Protect Your Secret Identity

Young Hal Jordan (no, not THAT Hal Jordan--this is his cousin) inherited the mantle of Air Wave from his father. But he's kinda of young to be a DC hero, so while spending some time in Coast City with his cousin, Hal Jordan (the Green Lantern) taught Hal Jordan (Air Wave) some rules on how to protect your secret identity.

[BTW, whichever idiot it was who decided it was cute to give Air Wave the same civilian name as Green Lantern: you're fired]

Now, asking Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) how to preserve your secret identity is akin to asking Donald Trump's advice on running for President--neither one has had much success in that area.

Anyway, Hal Jordan's (Green Lantern) rules on how to keep Hal Jordan's (Airwave) identity a secret:

Fair enough...especially if you're going to keep saying "Jeepers" every page, as you do in this story.

Hmmm, sound advice...

D'oh!! Now we'll never know where not to leave you're costume!!

Wow, elder Hal really has put a surprising amount of thought into this. I wonder if the JLA publishes a handbook or something...

Young Hal, most of us wouldn't need an actual "rule" telling us not to leave clues to our civilian ID at the scene of a battle. That one is pretty self evident, even to rookies...

Uhhhh....duh? (Although this could easily slip into the "talk like Hulk" rule, so you do have to be careful.

Anyway, going to live with a new set of cousins (because Green Lantern Hal doubtless didn't want some kid hanging around his crib, cramping his style, if you know what I mean), young Hal quickly gets a date with the hot number next door:


But of course, on the date he's called into action, and...

D'OH!!! Didn't Green Lantern warn you about the "don't wear distinctive cologne on a date" rule?!?

Probably not...elder Hal Jordan strikes me as someone who slathers on the Old Spice before hooking up with the ladies...

From Action Comics #488 (1978)

4 comments:

SallyP said...

Tee hee! The thought of Hal Jordan the Green Lantern giving secret identity advice to ANYONE just fills me with glee. It IS slightly better than Kyle Rayner giving the same advice...he did answer to his own name once, and transformed in a crowded restaurant...but seriously...Hal?

What really cracks me up, is young Hal spending so much time and effort trying to remember a lot of pretty self-evident advice WHILE HE'S FIGHTING! Shouldn't you be paying attention to the bad guy once in a while? Otherwise, that whole "secret identity" thing will probably become moot. Very very moot.

Martin Gray said...

No wonder Air wave II didn't set the world alight, he was too weighed down by rubbish advice to get the heroing right.

Whatever happened to him, anyway, last I heard he'd become Quasar-alike Maser. (Goes and looks it up ..) Oops.

snell said...

Martin---yeah, Geoff Johns got ahold of him. Not good for any third-tier hero.

Still, who knows. maybe in the nu52...?

Saranga said...

regarding the bit about always changing identity ina room with mor ethan one exit... I'm just reading adventure comics 405 and supergirl has caught out by exactly that thing. who'da thuink it! I wonde rhow she'll get out of this one ;)