Friday, November 11, 2011

Dear DC...Bring Back Intellex!!

So far, the nu52, whatever its strengths, hasn't shown a lot of imagination or originality.

Post-Flushpoint, all of the "new" 52 series, and all of the subsequent mini-series, have gone to already existing characters, albeit sometimes in new incarnations, or imports from other DC-owned universes. [Well, you could make an argument for Men At War, but since they had to go and make their lead Sgt. Rock's grandson, I'm calling "not an original character" on that. Your mileage may vary]

They have been more original, to some extent, with the villains in their stories...but none of these new guys seem like they're going to be a household name--it's been a pretty lackluster bunch.

Which leads to the obvious conclusion--since you're not going to give us new heroes, why strain your brains on new (forgettable) villains? Especially when DC's unparallelled back catalog contain kajillions of villains who would be just as new to your modern audiences as lame-o's like The Mirror or The Sinister Secret Society of The Month.

Exhibit #1:

Intellex, The Brain Bandit!!!

Who, you may ask? Well, since you probably don't have a copy of Superman #396 (1984) lying around, let's listen in while he monologues his origin to his Skeets-like sidekick:


Dude, you should have stuck around for the birth of Wikipedia...


OK, to 12 year-old me, that's pretty bitchin.'

Out of room? Sad fact: today you could probably get all of Intellex's precious data on a keychain thumb drive. I'm just sayin.'



Disney? Really?

Anyway, it's obvious Intellex can't use Rick Perry's brain:

Of course, Intellex failed to get Superman's brain, and being pre-Crisis, Kal-El beat him with a cheap identity switcheroo trick.

A couple of years later, having stolen the brain of "genius" Green Lantern Bogosar (of Sector 777), Intellex came back to try for Superman's grey matter again. And failed again. And hasn't been heard of post-Crisis.

So what we have here is a dude who has essentially the same gimmick as Brainiac, but instead of cities, he steal brains. Come on, tell me that's not already better than any new villain they've created for the nu52!! Heck, think of a better, more natural enemy for the third-smartest man on Earth, Mr. Terrific! (Or, even better, how offended Terrific is when Intellex declines to go after him--"not smart enough," he sniffs!)

Plus, Intellex has all these brains, from every galactic culture!! Think of the story possibilities!! We'd have links to every species, every interstellar culture past or present. And that's something that's not represented terribly well right now, outside of the Legion, in the nu52--the rest of the flipping universe!

We could have a regular feature, Tales From Intellex's Brains, wherein one of his captive brains tells the rest a story every month. Or, a brain could escape...and get a Green Lantern ring!! Who wouldn't want to see a brain with a ring!!

C'mon, DC, you already own the bleeding character--use him!!

2 comments:

Chris B said...

Didn't Jurgens do something similar in a Superman annual? A guy that steals brains and uses the bodies to make big ecto-blobs to protect them? I'm drawing a blank on what he/it was called.

Stas59 said...

'Sad fact: today you could probably get all of Intellex's precious data on a keychain thumb drive. I'm just sayin.'

Makes me think of William Gibson's short story Johnny Mnemonic (obligatory reference here to Keanu Reeves pre Matrix) where the character talks about having 'hundreds of megabytes' stashed in his brain. HUNDREDS... of MEGAbytes!!!!