Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Night Fights--Brainiac Is An Idiot Style!!

You know, for a guy with a 12th level computer brain, Brainiac is pretty much the galaxy's biggest idiot.

I mean, sure, always taking on Superman is pretty dumb. And despite the fact that he was supposedly more intelligent than Superman, Brainiac was outsmarted every time.

But Brainiac always had one sure ace up his sleeve:

That's right--Superman could never, ever, EVER get through Brainiac's impenetrable force field.

So what's is Brainiac's latest scheme?

Well, the light from Krypton's explosion has finally reach Earth, "three decades" later (no "younger" Superman was need to attract readers in those days!).

So Brainiac captures Superman, and forces him to stare at the light from the explosion.

Why? Well, since humans' optic nerves can suffer great damage from staring at the sun, he calculated that a Kryptonian who stared at "super-intense" Kryptonian light would suffer damage "a million times worse."

Right.

So what happened to Kal-El? Well, as a result of his forced stargazing, whenever The Man Of Steel was exposed to bright lights, his power levels would zoom off the charts, and he would be possessed by unstoppable rage. Which, I must point out, is nothing like being blinded by the sun, but hey, Kryptonian, right?

Sadly, though, Brainiac's operating system obviously missed a service pack upgrade or something. A) Your one real advantage over Superman is that he isn't powerful enough to penetrate your force filed. B) You've just made him much, much more powerful. C) It sure looks like you've given away your big advantage. D) Uh-oh!







LinkPoor Brainiac. Even the humble Radio Shack TRS-80 computer could kick Superman's ass (and do his job for him!). You, Mr. Twelfth Level Computer Mind? Not so much.

Spacebooger invested heavily in Brainiac computers back in the day...that's why he's so rich now!!

Cary Bates, Curt Swan and Frank Chiaramonte prove that unchecked rage and power beats brains in Action Comics #491 (1979)

Eh, I got nothing clever this week. Go and vote for me. Or vote for one of the other fights. Just VOTE!!

1 comment:

Bill said...

Can I just mention that this is the way Brainiac should always look? I especially like the pink shirt-- very metrosexual.