Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--The Unknown!!

This is gonna be a wild, crazy story...

Ooh, mysterious...

We start in the middle of the action, with a crime in progress...

"Shoot to kill"?? Brutal cops, but no more brutal than the crook in green, who leaves Stogie to die in the warehouse. (BTW, if it's an "abandoned warehouse district," why is there a warehouse full of TNT??)

Anyway, the resulting explosion is, for the second story in a row, enough to get the attention of those lounging about in Eternity:

We find out the name of our man in green:


Wait a minute. A "housing shortage" in Eternity? How is that possible? A) Isn't everyone going to die, eventually? How can you not be prepared? B) Don't you have a big book telling you exactly when everyone is going to die? HOW CAN YOU HAVE A HOUSING SHORTAGE?!?

Of course, we know that Dude Rich isn't dead--he left Stogie in his place!


So what do we do know? Borrow a plot from a recent noir movie!!

In September 1947, the classic Bogart/Bacall movie Dark Passage debuted, wherein Bogart's character escaped from prison (he had been framed!!), and got a back alley doctor to give him plastic surgery!! This comic hit the stands in April 1948!

It's not the first time the trope has been used, of course, so it's probably just a coincidence. And this never happened in Dark Passage!!

Geez, this tale has a pretty high body count!

Well, there's one flaw in his plan--Eternity knows all! or do they?


OK, we're twelve sorts of confused now.

As wicked as he may be, Dude Rich isn't supernatural. How could he--a mere mortal--send Dr. Wan to Eternity "early"? Is it predestined, or isn't it? Does any act of murder serve to thwart the "schedule"? If they can foresee when you're going to die in a car accident, why can't they foresee murder?!?! I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!

And...again with the heavenly housing shortage?!?!?! WTF??

Well, Kid goes down to check out the doctor's body...


Bloodhounds!!!

Now, last time these dogs showed up, Kid called down Simon Legree with them, and I noted that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to trust one of literature's nastiest villains to hunt for someone. Looks like Kid was listening!!

Sadly, this turns out to one of the more fruitless summons of all time:

D'oh!!

Weeks later, a new crime boss turns up!


The Unknown leads a manic crime spree, and is willing to sacrifice--literally--his own men!




Sherlock Holmes!! Congratulations, detective--this is your 4th summons, putting you into a tie for 2nd place!

While Sherlock does his thing, Kid has an idea!



So...Kid can't summon Dude Rich (which we know is because he's not done). But secret Dude hears Kid calling his name, and thinks that Kid knows that he's alive!! Confusion!!

Keeper heads up to Eternity to find put what the snafu is...

...while Unknown captures Kid!

And with Keeper gone, Kid can't summon help!

Fortunately, Stogie is hanging around the front desk when Keeper gets there.



Luckily for Kid, Sherlock is still wandering around...


...but he sucks at catching crooks!!

But Keeper arrives in the nick of time, with some deadly advice!


Stogie!!

OOOWWW!!!

Should you summon someone just to commit murder?!?

Kid--you're only 9 pages late "piecing it together!"

Umm...OK?

And now...back to the housing shortage!!

You mean, in "heaven," you can be forced to "room" with the guy who murdered you?!? Eternity is the world's worst Airbnb!!

This was the 61st Kid Eternity story. Here's our standings:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bloodhounds (Simon Legree's)
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Corcoran, Peter 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 2
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Holmes, Sherlock 4
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Kamehameha 1
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 1
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Mercury 5
Merlin 1
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 1
Nobody 1
North Wind 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 1
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Porthos 2
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 1
Stogie 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 3
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Whittington, Richard 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--The Kid goes to Canada!!

From Kid Eternity #10 (1948)

1 comment:

TC said...

BTW, Holmes was a private detective, not a police officer. So he was not "of Scotland Yard."