Thursday, September 4, 2008

Hey, Kids, Maim Your Comics For Your Country's Birthday!!

22 years ago, you may have been wondering, "Gee, how can I properly celebrate America's Bicentennial?" Sadly, I wasn 't blogging back then, so I couldn't help you out. But I still care--and maybe, just maybe, someone will invent time travel and take this post back to that fateful year to help out my loyal readers even before they're my loyal readers.

So, readers in 1976, how can you celebrate the Bicentennial? Simple: Ruin your DC comic books!!

Bicentennial=excuse to unload cheap crapYes, kids, it's that simple:

No, not Krypto!!Cut off the top of the cover of "at least" 25 of your comics (no, Billy, nice try...they have to be 25 different comics), mail them in, and you're helping to celebrate America's two hundredth birthday!!

And how, exactly, is DC "saluting" the Bicentennial?

It's like saluting the flag, dammitThat's right, kids, because nothing says 1776 so much as a Superman belt buckle. Just like Thomas Jefferson wore, I'm guessing. (Of course, he got his from sending in mastheads from Poor Richard's Almanac...)

So, readers who are reading this in 1976 through the magic of time-travel: cut up the covers of as many of you DC comics as you can in exchange for trinkets. Hell, that's even better than Marvel Value least the damage was interior, hidden when you tried to sell them. Be proud of your homeland--ruin your comics!!

Just for fun, let's check out the official list of 33 comics carrying the "DC Comics salutes the Bicentennial" banner:

You CANNOT cut up my copy of PLOP!Ah, the pre-Implosion days...Man, DC sure published a lot of war comics back in those days. Army At War, Our Fighting Forces, Weird War Tales, Blitzkrieg, Blackhawk, G.I. Combat...still, nothing as sublime as Sgt. Fury fighting WWII in outer space.


Jayunderscorezero said...

What a cheap, horrible marketing gimmick. "Hey kids, buy (and then maim) almost all of these comics that we've listed, or else people will think you're not celebrating your country's birthday hard enough! You don't want the other kids to think that you're not a Superman-belt-buckle-wearing America-loving patriot now, do you?"

Anonymous said...

Well, believe it or not, back in the pre-"encase your comics in carbonite" days, comics were mainly viewed as disposable least by the guys in the marketing departments. Sure, organized fandom (starting in the previous decade) had made it clear collecting comics in good condition was important, but I don't think the message sunk in with company brass until many years later. Despite all of those covers that proclaimed the issue a "collector's item", I think the "comics are disposable junk" mentality was still at work with promotions like this one.

All that said, what a ridiculous promotion.