Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Not Very Brave, Not So Bold

There is one question that my millions of readers are constantly asking me: "Hey, snell, can you find us a comic book that featured a team-up between Superbaby and Kazaam, the Rapping Genie With an Attitude (Who's Ready For Slam-Dunk Fun)??"

If you don't want people to know he's super, don't let him wear a cape...Surprisingly enough, not his worst movie'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished, but sadly, no such comic book exists. But never let it be said that I won't go to the ends of the Earth to helps you guys out, because here's the next best thing:

I don't perceive a slam-dunk attitude here, GenroYes, lads and lasses, we may not have Superbaby teaming up with Kazaam, but we do have Wonder Tot teaming up with a genie named Genro!!

A couple of notes/questions before we dig in:
  • This is Wonder Tot, not Wonder Baby...please note that she is older than Superbaby, as demonstrated by her slightly less Bizarro-like speech patterns


  • Even though the lying cover says "Introducing the Amazon Babe" (snicker), this ain't Wonder Tot's first appearance, which was back in issue #105.


  • If the Silver Age could give us Superbaby and Wonder Tot, where the hell is Bat-Toddler?
Anyhoo, I want to point out one completely irrelevant panel earlier in the story, positing an ability Wonder Women..ahem, Tot...never displayed before or since. But of course, that wouldn't be in any way foreshadowing for this story, would it?

Now let us never speak of this again!So, while being an naughty little tot and gliding around, Wonder Tot stumbles upon a treasure chest on an island, opens it, and--Kazaam!!

Most disturbing caption of the yearSigh, OK, it's not Kazaam...but Genro!! Unfortunately, he turns out to be not a happy, grateful genie, but a pissed-off, vengeful genie:

After centuries of confinement, that genie-ass has gotta smell rankDoes that count as a bondage scene? Sorry.

Gee, I hope Wonder Tot has some ability, discussed previously in the issue, that would enable her to escape her captivity...

Maybe Genro should be the one talking like Bizarro...Wow, Genro is not too smart, eh? After Lil' Diana re-imprisons him, they reach a bargain, she lets him out, and he promises to fulfill her wish to make a star into a pony-tail clip (Protip: don't give wishes to tots, because they wish for stupid stuff), he prepares to take her into outer space with a frightening drug reference:

Yes, Wonder Tot, inhale the magic space dust up your nose...OMGWhile flying out there, they encounter an eerie space phenomenon:

Another great moment in DC scienceYup...time bands. Uh huh.

Well, what follows is a series of misadventures the merely prove Genro to be, a crappy genie. He can't find the star, and adult Wonder Woman has to explain to him the concept of the speed of light and stellar mechanics and why the star isn't there any more. On the trip back, they're attacked by a random spaceship, and the de-aging Wonder Girl has to save them with her lasso. And later, fully de-aged, Wonder Tot has to save Genro from a meteor shower:

Genro--the genie who has to be saved by a baby"Black shiny rocks?" Fortunately, busting up those meteors reveals a diamond, so Lil' Diana has her pony tail clip! And despite the fact that Genro was generally incompetent, they part with the promise of future team-ups:

Unlike Kazzam, Genro has no post-up moveAnd they kept that promise, as Genro returned for about 5 more appearances with Wonder Tot over the next year or so. Even though he was a crappy genie.

So there you go. I'm still hoping for Superbaby/Kazaam, though...

BONUS PANEL: Oh, yeah, there was a fire-breathing dragon in this story, too:

Wonder Tot no understand metaphorThe Wonder Tot/Mister Genie team first appeared in Wonder Woman #126. But no Kazaam. Dammit.

2 comments:

Khairul H. said...

They have ventriloquism classes in Themysciran schools? How cool is that?

snell said...

Well, with no men around, they all need to be weel-versed in forms of entertainment, I guess...