Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Golden Age Idol--The Spitfire!!

Everyone done with the holiday? Back to work and school? Settled in? Ready to have your mind blown?

Good, because it's time to meet...

No, not the plane! This guy!

("200 years ago" being 1741ish, or there-abouts...)

Unfortunately, "Black" Douglas' ship runs into...

Well, the pirates kick their ass, and when Douglas refuses to join up with them...


...he's put adrift at sea!!

All seems lost, until...

But what a land!




It turns out that Black sleeps for...200 years!!

How is this possible?!?!

Oh, and that gas did much more than knock him out and preserve his clothing, as we'll see in a moment.

Going back out to see, Black encounters...

Yeah, this story spells it "Nazti" the whole way through. Probably to avoid defamation lawsuits, because these aren't nice guys!


And a big fight scene is a convenient time for your new super-powers to pop up!



So, somehow his body internalized all that gas he breathed in for 200 years, and no he can breath it out at will!!

Yes, a 1741 British noble would indeed say, "Boy! this is great!"

He scuttles the sub, and ends up on the beach where...



Man, the coincidences keep piling up for this guy!!

Fortunately for him (and England)...

...an 18-century man is quickly able to "get the hang of" piloting a fighter aircraft!!

And kicking Nazti ass while doing it!!

So that's why he's called The Spitfire? Because he can fly a Spitfire plane?

Hahahahhaahahaha. No.

He runs out of gas and lands in Nazti-occupied territory.

The torches are extra-convenient, as you'll see!




He's called The Spitfire because he can spit fire!!!!

The second issue has him wandering through Nazti Europe, mastering motorcycles...

Rescuing British soldiers from prison camps, with only his sword and quick wits...


Who needs guns? Especially when you can cover your escape like this?

Black can capture tanks...

...repel other tanks by spitting fire...

...and generally beat the living crap out of Naztis..

And so...

Well, we'll never find out, because Spitfire Comics wasn't our new favorite, and never had another issue! And Black Douglas was never heard of again...

Can we let this stand, dear reader? An 18th century sailor, who drank from the fountain of youth and inhaled a metric tonne of mysterious gas, who can master modern machinery are breath out gas and spit fire and take out squads armed with assault rifles with only his rapier?!?! Can we let this character vanish into the dusty depths of faded memory?


I say thee NAY!! Someone out there---let's revive The Spitfire!! Make it happen!!

From Spitfire Comics #1-2 (1941)

1 comment:

SF said...

Seems like a fun swashbuckling character one could do a lot with!

For what it's worth, pretty sure we can be 100% certain a mid-18th century Englishman would not use the word "gadget" -- it doesn't enter the lexicon until a hundred years after he fell asleep, and it wasn't in common use until the 20th century.