Everyone done with the holiday? Back to work and school? Settled in? Ready to have your mind blown?
Good, because it's time to meet...
No, not the plane! This guy!
("200 years ago" being 1741ish, or there-abouts...)
Unfortunately, "Black" Douglas' ship runs into...
Well, the pirates kick their ass, and when Douglas refuses to join up with them...
...he's put adrift at sea!!
All seems lost, until...
But what a land!
It turns out that Black sleeps for...200 years!!
How is this possible?!?!
Oh, and that gas did much more than knock him out and preserve his clothing, as we'll see in a moment.
Going back out to see, Black encounters...
Yeah, this story spells it "Nazti" the whole way through. Probably to avoid defamation lawsuits, because these aren't nice guys!
And a big fight scene is a convenient time for your new super-powers to pop up!
So, somehow his body internalized all that gas he breathed in for 200 years, and no he can breath it out at will!!
Yes, a 1741 British noble would indeed say, "Boy! this is great!"
He scuttles the sub, and ends up on the beach where...
Man, the coincidences keep piling up for this guy!!
Fortunately for him (and England)...
...an 18-century man is quickly able to "get the hang of" piloting a fighter aircraft!!
And kicking Nazti ass while doing it!!
So that's why he's called The Spitfire? Because he can fly a Spitfire plane?
Hahahahhaahahaha. No.
He runs out of gas and lands in Nazti-occupied territory.
The torches are extra-convenient, as you'll see!
He's called The Spitfire because he can spit fire!!!!
The second issue has him wandering through Nazti Europe, mastering motorcycles...
Rescuing British soldiers from prison camps, with only his sword and quick wits...
Who needs guns? Especially when you can cover your escape like this?
Black can capture tanks...
...repel other tanks by spitting fire...
...and generally beat the living crap out of Naztis..
And so...
Well, we'll never find out, because Spitfire Comics wasn't our new favorite, and never had another issue! And Black Douglas was never heard of again...
Can we let this stand, dear reader? An 18th century sailor, who drank from the fountain of youth and inhaled a metric tonne of mysterious gas, who can master modern machinery are breath out gas and spit fire and take out squads armed with assault rifles with only his rapier?!?! Can we let this character vanish into the dusty depths of faded memory?
I say thee NAY!! Someone out there---let's revive The Spitfire!! Make it happen!!
From Spitfire Comics #1-2 (1941)
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
Monday, September 3, 2018
Manic Labor Day Triple Overtime--A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course, of Course!!
Look, criminals in the DC Universe may be a cowardly and superstitious lot, but everyday citizens there--especially the ones with money--are a stupid and gullible lot!!
The Shining Knight was quite popular in the day--no, really--so some scumbag con men have set up a scam involved the Knight's horse, Winged Victory:
So, wait--the guy pays for the horse without even taking a test ride for himself? Without even seeing the horse fly more than a few feet off the ground? And he carries $100,000 in cash around in a satchel?!?
Like I said, stupid and gullible.
How did the crooks pull this off?
OK, but surely there aren't any more rich idiots in this town, right?
OK, air polo would be freakin' sweet, I have to admit.
But surely that's all the victims, right?
D'oh! You bastards!! I thought all con men secretly had hearts of gold!! You've lied to me, Leverage and Ocean's 11!!
It turns out this was all on the same day--which means Deadpan and his crew pulled in $310,000 for a few hours' work.
Of course, the victims soon found out the truth:
Yes, the guys are idiots...but you have to feel sorry for the poor kid, right?
Well, Sir Justin does!
I like to think that what Winged Victory meant to say there was, "Nay, I shall slay them and track their blood across the landscape with my hooves!!"
Anyhoo, he cons the con men...
That's gotta be even more humiliating than being dumped in front of the precinct covered in webbing!
Justin returns the money, and his visit cures the sick kid of his magical mystery disease...
And it's one massive man-crush on Shining Knight and Winged Victory!!
What a man, indeed!
By the way, the art here is by Frank Frazetta...
From Adventure Comics #161 (1951), as reprinted in Adventure Comics #417 (1972)
The Shining Knight was quite popular in the day--no, really--so some scumbag con men have set up a scam involved the Knight's horse, Winged Victory:
So, wait--the guy pays for the horse without even taking a test ride for himself? Without even seeing the horse fly more than a few feet off the ground? And he carries $100,000 in cash around in a satchel?!?
Like I said, stupid and gullible.
How did the crooks pull this off?
OK, but surely there aren't any more rich idiots in this town, right?
OK, air polo would be freakin' sweet, I have to admit.
But surely that's all the victims, right?
D'oh! You bastards!! I thought all con men secretly had hearts of gold!! You've lied to me, Leverage and Ocean's 11!!
It turns out this was all on the same day--which means Deadpan and his crew pulled in $310,000 for a few hours' work.
Of course, the victims soon found out the truth:
Yes, the guys are idiots...but you have to feel sorry for the poor kid, right?
Well, Sir Justin does!
I like to think that what Winged Victory meant to say there was, "Nay, I shall slay them and track their blood across the landscape with my hooves!!"
Anyhoo, he cons the con men...
That's gotta be even more humiliating than being dumped in front of the precinct covered in webbing!
Justin returns the money, and his visit cures the sick kid of his magical mystery disease...
And it's one massive man-crush on Shining Knight and Winged Victory!!
What a man, indeed!
By the way, the art here is by Frank Frazetta...
From Adventure Comics #161 (1951), as reprinted in Adventure Comics #417 (1972)
Manic Labor Day Bonus--The Computer Of Your Dreams!!
Yes! Yes!! YES!!!
Whoa! Somebody pinch me!! 1 Mb of RAM?? How is that possible?!?!
And a 20 Mb hard disk?? 20 Mb?!?! What is this, some science fiction utopia!!
Man, some days I just want to jaunt back in time a couple of decades with a smart phone and a laptop and watch people's brains explode...
From 2000 AD #786 (1992)
Whoa! Somebody pinch me!! 1 Mb of RAM?? How is that possible?!?!
And a 20 Mb hard disk?? 20 Mb?!?! What is this, some science fiction utopia!!
Man, some days I just want to jaunt back in time a couple of decades with a smart phone and a laptop and watch people's brains explode...
From 2000 AD #786 (1992)
Manic Labor Day--Hercules' Greatest Labor?!?
Well, we can hardly celebrate Labor Day without the original man of labor--12 of them, to be precise--Hercules!!
The Prince of Power has just saved the planet Ciegrim-7, but the celebrations are interrupted when a certain herald of a certain planet-eater shows up...
But it turns out that Hercules and this particular herald are from the same backwater planet...
Well, one thing led to another, and...ahem...well, there was still a Comics Code back in those days, so let's just put it like this:
Oh, Hercules!!
Anyway, after Hercules beats Galactus with the power of laughter (and I mean that literally!), well...
Oh, Hercules...he labors for all of us, folks!!!
From Hercules: Prince Of Power #4 (1982)
The Prince of Power has just saved the planet Ciegrim-7, but the celebrations are interrupted when a certain herald of a certain planet-eater shows up...
But it turns out that Hercules and this particular herald are from the same backwater planet...
Well, one thing led to another, and...ahem...well, there was still a Comics Code back in those days, so let's just put it like this:
Oh, Hercules!!
Anyway, after Hercules beats Galactus with the power of laughter (and I mean that literally!), well...
Oh, Hercules...he labors for all of us, folks!!!
From Hercules: Prince Of Power #4 (1982)
Sunday, September 2, 2018
Whatever Happened To The Vigilante?!?
You know whom I miss?
The Vigilante--"two-fisted cowboy on a motorcycle!"
It always makes me sad to think that modern comics has no place for this guy. Well, at least modern DC comics!
I mean, holy moly, just look at that!
Greg Sanders was a country singer, son of a murdered Wyoming sheriff who took on the costumed identity to avenge his father.
He debuted in Action Comics back in 1941, for heaven's sakes, which is a pretty fine pedigree, acting as a back-up to Superman stories. His strip ran there for 13 years!!
He was also a founding member of The Seven Soldiers Of Victory, a.k.a. The Law's Legionnaires, essentially DC's second banana JSA.
And come the Silver and Bronze Age...
...he's hanging around with the actual Justice League!!
Now, it turns out that there were Earth-2 AND Earth-1 versions of Vigilante, a la Green Arrow, so yeah, there can be confusion. Perhaps that's why DC changed his name from Greg Sanders to Greg Saunders in the 1990s?
Anyway, it can hardly be more confusing than dealing with the history of the modern Vigilante.
Did you know that eight--yes, EIGHT--different people have held the modern Vigilante identity? [For completists, Adrian Chase, Alan Welles, Dave Winston, Pat Trayce, Adeline Kane, Justin Powell, Dorian Chase, and Donald Fairchild...so far]. I mean, please don't try and tell me today's audiences who be confused by the fact that there used to be two different versions of Sander/Saunders, when for the past 35 years you've passed the modern Vigilante's identity like a bad STD!
Now, maybe the modern guy has made the name too freighted with negative connotations to be a viable identity for our ersatz Western hero. After all, the term "vigilante" often has negative implications, and is usually used to call into question the very raison d'etre of costumed heroes. So, if you're really gun shy about that, DC, just give him a new name.
But if ou think a two-fisted cowboy on a motorcycle can't cut it in a modern super-hero world, allow me to point out the time that HE SAVED SUPERMAN FROM A WEREWOLF:
THAT REALLY HAPPENED!!
And, if you need someone to jump start your faltering DCEU movie-verse, well, someone has already been there:
Looks good to me!!
I mean, geez, look at the guy!! How could you not want to read comics with him starring?
And did I mention--he has a motorcycle?!?
DC Rebirth was supposed to be about legacy, until Geoff Johns decided that no one got to use any of the actual legacy characters until he was done crapping all over them by mixing them in with deconstructionist post-modern anti-superhero comics just to piss off Alan Moore. Two years later and still no JSA, still no Legion Of Super-Heroes...but at least you turned Jor-El into a murderous villain, and Supergirl's father into a murderous villain, and...hey, Rebirth was all a lie!!!!!!!
Sorry, got distracted there. Anyway, if DC is all about legacy, well, here's a legacy character that hasn't been used since 2008. Are you listening, DC?
The Vigilante--"two-fisted cowboy on a motorcycle!"
It always makes me sad to think that modern comics has no place for this guy. Well, at least modern DC comics!
I mean, holy moly, just look at that!
Greg Sanders was a country singer, son of a murdered Wyoming sheriff who took on the costumed identity to avenge his father.
He debuted in Action Comics back in 1941, for heaven's sakes, which is a pretty fine pedigree, acting as a back-up to Superman stories. His strip ran there for 13 years!!
He was also a founding member of The Seven Soldiers Of Victory, a.k.a. The Law's Legionnaires, essentially DC's second banana JSA.
And come the Silver and Bronze Age...
...he's hanging around with the actual Justice League!!
Now, it turns out that there were Earth-2 AND Earth-1 versions of Vigilante, a la Green Arrow, so yeah, there can be confusion. Perhaps that's why DC changed his name from Greg Sanders to Greg Saunders in the 1990s?
Anyway, it can hardly be more confusing than dealing with the history of the modern Vigilante.
Did you know that eight--yes, EIGHT--different people have held the modern Vigilante identity? [For completists, Adrian Chase, Alan Welles, Dave Winston, Pat Trayce, Adeline Kane, Justin Powell, Dorian Chase, and Donald Fairchild...so far]. I mean, please don't try and tell me today's audiences who be confused by the fact that there used to be two different versions of Sander/Saunders, when for the past 35 years you've passed the modern Vigilante's identity like a bad STD!
Now, maybe the modern guy has made the name too freighted with negative connotations to be a viable identity for our ersatz Western hero. After all, the term "vigilante" often has negative implications, and is usually used to call into question the very raison d'etre of costumed heroes. So, if you're really gun shy about that, DC, just give him a new name.
But if ou think a two-fisted cowboy on a motorcycle can't cut it in a modern super-hero world, allow me to point out the time that HE SAVED SUPERMAN FROM A WEREWOLF:
THAT REALLY HAPPENED!!
And, if you need someone to jump start your faltering DCEU movie-verse, well, someone has already been there:
Looks good to me!!
I mean, geez, look at the guy!! How could you not want to read comics with him starring?
And did I mention--he has a motorcycle?!?
DC Rebirth was supposed to be about legacy, until Geoff Johns decided that no one got to use any of the actual legacy characters until he was done crapping all over them by mixing them in with deconstructionist post-modern anti-superhero comics just to piss off Alan Moore. Two years later and still no JSA, still no Legion Of Super-Heroes...but at least you turned Jor-El into a murderous villain, and Supergirl's father into a murderous villain, and...hey, Rebirth was all a lie!!!!!!!
Sorry, got distracted there. Anyway, if DC is all about legacy, well, here's a legacy character that hasn't been used since 2008. Are you listening, DC?
Saturday, September 1, 2018
Captain America Can Take You Out Blindfolded!!
Steve Rogers has been blinded in a battle with the Red Skull! [SPOILER ALERT: he eventually gets better].
He's convalescing at a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, in the same ward as a mysterious, high-value "defector." So high value that someone has snuck in to assassinate him!
But Captain America don't need no super-senses to protect the helpless!
With Steve Rogers around, who needs Daredevil?!?
From Captain America #213 (1977)
He's convalescing at a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, in the same ward as a mysterious, high-value "defector." So high value that someone has snuck in to assassinate him!
But Captain America don't need no super-senses to protect the helpless!
With Steve Rogers around, who needs Daredevil?!?
From Captain America #213 (1977)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)











