Manic Monday--How To Tell That Hitler Was Not A Good Man

Blackhawk Chuck has stumbled across Adolf Hitler's personal courier, and after a spirited chase through a ramshackle, abandoned mansion...

"Der Fuhrer does not like little kittens."

Good gosh, whatever would the internet have been like had Germany won the war?!?

From Blackhawk #254 (1983)

Bold Fashion Choices--Why Women Shouldn't Wear Lipstick To A Seance!!

Look, I'm spectacularly ill-positioned to offer anyone make-up advice.

But I can give the ladies one warning--Don't wear lipstick to a seance!! 

Why?

Well, let's watch as debutante Wendy Wilson attends a "fake" seance with "fake" swami Liarb and crooked politician Paul Ventresco:

Yow!!! Her great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother just called her a trollop because you're wearing lipstick!! And you thought your relatives were dicks!

Well, never let a good opportunity go to waste!

And so begins a supernatural reign of terror!!

Don't worry, Mr. Justice brings them to...well, justice!

But remember--if you do go to a seance...well, it wouldn't hurt to ease up and the make-up...just for safety's sake!!

From Blue Ribbon Comics #12 (1941)

50 Shades Of Archie?

We start off with one of the lyingest covers ever:

That's Black Swan Comics #1 (1945). The sad thing is, there's not a single pirate anywhere in the interior--it's just a bunch of reprints from other Archie Comics publications. Boo!!

It gets...interesting, though, inside the front cover:

What the what?!?

An ad for Rollicking Bedside Fun--in an Archie book?!?

More blown up detail:

Lusty, merry recreation? Blueprint for uninhibited living?!?

You can find copies of the book on Amazon...or eBay...

And if you look at some of the pages, well, you can see that it's a book full of dirty risque stories and naughty pictures...click to embiggen to see part of the tale of a wife having her maid seduce her husband so she can catch them in flagrante:

So, in 1945 an Archie Comics books ran ads for a contemporary version of Penthouse Forum. Not that there's anything wrong with that...but really?

What a world.

[BTW, you don't want to know some of the stuff I encountered while trying to research this. My soul will never be clean again...]

Friday Night Fights--Covered In Flint Style!!

We're running frightfully late tonight (thanks, Batman v. Superman, whose 151-minutes running time felt like 273 minutes...).

So let's get straight to Friday Night Fights!

It turns out that the Thing's new girlfriend, Hazel, is also the ex-girlfriend of the Sandman!! And he's not a particularly nice ex-bf:

Really, Flint? (Still, it later turns out that she was two-timing both of them with Crusher Creel, so, ewww).

Still, you just know this is going to end up in a fight...

Told ya.

SKPLOOOSH!!!

But there's a messy ending...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Spacebooger wants you to know that Hazel didn't survive the series.

Flint on Grimm action from Startling Stories: The Thing--Night Falls On Yancy Street #2 (2003), by Evan Dorkin and Dean Haspiel

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? I've got no time to think of a reason--just go vote!!