Friday Night Fights--1873 Style!!

OK, I took it easy on everyone last week. But this time, my Friday Night Fight is going for the gold--golden pain, that is.

The time: 1873. Hawkeye, Moondragon, the Two-Gun Kid, and some other Avenger...hmmm, can't remember who...are trying to stop Kang from taking over the past.

Kang's not worried, though:

Great diabolical gloating there, Kang.

What? That mysterious guy? Oh, now I remember who 'twas...




Fasten your safety belt kids, because Thor isn't done yet. He wants to settle this the old fashioned way:



Oh, it is on!!










Uhhh...I guess that means Thor wins!!! Wooo!!

Of course, Spacebooger will probably go back in time to undo this, because he's a huuuuge Kang fan...

Steve Englehart, George Perez and Sam Grainger show Kang losing hard in Avengers #143 (1976).

Now, I'm not saying that you have to go over to Spacebooger's crib and vote for me this week. But really, what better way is there to assure that Kang doesn't return?

Justice Leaguers Make Their Oscar Picks--Aquaman!

I would have thought he might have gravitated to The King's Speech. But no...

...Aquaman votes for 127 Hours!

Sorry about that.

Great Moments In Avengers Camaraderie

Get a room, you two!

From Avengers Academy #9

Why Stanhope College Football Will Never Win The National Championship

The leader of Homicide Inc. has put a hit out on Jimmy Olsen!

Perry White has the clever idea to hide Jimmy by having him enroll under a false name at obscure Stanhope College!!

Perry White's idea failed, because Homicide Inc. tracks down Olsen almost immediately! And they assign the hit to Mr Quick, their "specialist in quick-change disguises, and sudden death!"

And Jimmy? He has just one thing one his mind: college chicks!

Mr. Quick leaps into action!!


Fortunately for Jimmy, Linda Danvers happens to be a football cheerleader!!




So, you're a college football coach, and a walk-on try-out apparently has the leg strength to kick the living bejesus out of a football. And your reaction is...?

Oh, yes, he lost a valuable ball. Why bother to try and train him to harness that (apparent) kicking prowess? Who the heck needs a rookie like that? Kick him out, and preserve those valuable balls!! "Take your wild talent away, kid, lest I have to actually coach you!"

I'm sure some of this coach's other philosophies included, "Stop running so fast--you're ruining the turf. Do you know how much sod costs?!?" and "Stop hitting the quarterback so hard--shoulder pads are expensive!!"

Stanhope's not going to a BCS bowl anytime soon, is all I'm saying.

snell really wishes that Olsen would walk on at Michigan with kicking like he (theoretically) displayed in Jimmy Olsen #102 (1967).

Weeding The Garden

A couple of weeks ago, I pondered how DC was going to be able to pull off 15--yes, fifteen--Flashpoint miniseries and "several" one-shots. I was worried about flooding the market, and I was curious where they'd find the talent to produce that much extra material.

Well, one of the shoes has dropped. As the May solicits reveal, DC seems to be clearing away a lot of the deadwood, clearing the decks, as it were, to make room for Flashpoint-a-palooza.

May will see the final issues of Batman And The Outsiders, Doom Patrol, Freedom Fighters, R.E.B.E.L.S, and JSA All-Stars.

It's not exactly the DC Implosion, but 5 cancelled mags is a lot for one month. Given the timing, it's hard not to jump to the conclusion that DC is freeing up resources and clearing rack space for the summer's 50+ issue Flashpoint power dump.

The question is, are they done yet? Or will more titles be on the chopping block in June?

Manic Valentines Day--Love For Robo-Archie!!

Of course, you all remember the time Archie was turned into a cyborg, but still found love with...

What? You don't remember? Well, since it's Valentine's Day, let's re-tell the tale, with the help of:

Don't ask me.

Anyhow, Archie has been watching to much of the X-Games, as...

The result?

Fortunately, Archie didn't get all weepy and broody like Victor Stone. Nope, he digs his new body:

Sadly, The Man wants to put Archie down!

Fortunately, other athletic activities aren't so persnickety, as Archie gives us a glimpse of "Bring It On 2020"!!

The result? Love for Robo-Archie!

Unfortunately, Betty loves Robo-Archie for his cheerleading skills, not his lovin' skills:



Bummer. Then things get worse:

What kind of accident did Betty have?

Mmmm, extra crispy.

Robo-Archie dashes to the hospital, where, in the Twilight-Zone twist...



Awwwww...

Extra noisy Robo-lovin' comes from Laugh #13 (1989).

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, LITERALLY

I'm as guilty of this as anybody else. But when we talk about who has the greatest Rogues Gallery, we always forget to mention Shang-Chi:

Click to embiggen to full glory. Do the same for the key below:

For what it's worth, that's not quite a complete listing. There's a number of henchmen (like Brynocki the cute killer robot), animals (like insane intelligent gorillas, giant killer turtles, sharks & leopards and crocodiles), and other deadly foes who have been left off.

But most importantly, they left off the most important villain of all:

Me!!!

Panorama of evil from Master Of Kung Fu #102 (1981)

Here's A Comic I Will Never Buy

Brian Bendis and Alex Maleev and Tom Brevoort had a conference call with the media to unveil their big plans for the new Moon Knight series (what, is this volume #19??).

Presented without comment are some of Bendis' descriptions of what the series is going to be about:

Bendis: "We love his personality disorder. On his best day, he almost seems like a one-man team, like a one-man Ocean's 11. But sometimes the character would get mired in self-loathing, and depression, and all that stuff. I said, wouldn't it be interesting to have a multiple-personality superhero who loved his personalities?"

Bendis said he wants Moon Knight's personalities to be "more defined by his new place in the Marvel Universe."

Bendis continues that his "psyche will be emboldened" by his role on the Avengers, and that his personalities will include Spider-Man, Wolverine and Captain America, and he'll have internal "Avengers meetings" dealing with how to tackle different issues.

Bendis said that supporting cast members like Frenchie and Marlene will play a part in the book, but they'll also "focus on some new characters as well, but not at the sacrifice of his great history with these old friends. And how many friends does he need? He's his own best friend, he's his own girlfriend, that's why I love him."

Next question from [Newsarama staff writer Albert Ching]- are you at all worried about controversy like the show United States of Tara has faced for portraying multiple personalities disorder, a real-life condition?

Bendis: "You have to find a basis in reality or it doesn't fly, even the silliest ideas have to matter, but at the end of the day, getting too sensitive about it can suck the fun out of anything. I don't think anything's happening here that makes fun of or belittles an actual problem."

OK, then. Good luck with that project, guys.

Friday Night Fights--Bicentennial Style!!

OK, OK, my Friday Night Fight last week was ridiculously overlong. So we'll shorten things up this week, courtesy of Jack Kirby's seriously underrated Captain America run in the mid-70s.

It's the Bicentennial (which Captain America did NOT sleep through, thank you very much!) An evil gang of wannabe aristocrats is about to set off the Madbomb, which will turn everyone in America into raving idiots (more so than usual). The Falcon needs to take out a couple of guards with a sonic cannon so Cap and the army can storm the place.




I can't decide which is the coolest:

A) "You scheming dumdums!"
B) Falcon smashing their heads together so hard and fast they just become speed lines and a sound effect
C) "Jive"--still more proof that Cap was not revived in the 1990s.

Maybe Spacebooger can decide for us.

Falcon show why two heads are better than one in Captain America #200 (1976), by Jack Kirby, Jack Kirby, and Frank Giacoia.

Now get over to Spacebooger's crib and vote for this fight, or the Falcon will break out the really harsh language!!

America's Obesity Epidemic Has Really Gotten Out Of Hand

Geez, Superman...

...maybe you should have gone a little easier on the bratwursts and deep-fried bacon during your walk across America! That Midwestern cooking' will kill you!

Sorry if I stepped on your toes, Siskoid...but come on, who can resist Fat Superman drawn by Curt Swan and inked by Murphy Anderson on the cover of Superman #221 (1969)??

We Interrupt This Broadcast

Can't blog about comics today--too busy watching this:

Yeah, I know, there are new Doctor Who DVDs released every month.

But this one is special for a couple of reasons. First, in the grim period between 1989 and 2005, The Television Movie (great title, guys) was the only televised Doctor Who of any sort.

And more importantly, here in the States, it was only broadcast once--once, without ANY re-runs. And thanks to some rights clusterfrak, it has never been released on home video here. Ever. So this is a most welcome release (and it means I can finally ditch my decaying VHS-taped-off-the-TV-broadcast copy).

Now, some folks will tell you that this story is an abomination, the worst thing ever.

To which I have a couple of replies.

First, while it surely is not great, and does some questionable things in the Pyrrhic quest to "Americanize" Doctor Who, it is at heart a fun little story, which if nothing else captures the spirit of Doctor Who, with good performances by Daphne Ashbrook and Paul McGann. And while Eric Roberts as The Master is...well, pretty much exactly the same as Eric Roberts in anything, I ask you--is he any worse than Anthony Ainley's hamistry in Time-Flight or The King's Demons?

Further, with hindsight, many of the things that fans decried in The Television Movie were pretty clearly adopted into the 21st century relaunch, such as real romantic involvement between the Doctor and his companions--so maybe they weren't so bad, after all.

And finally, Paul McGann doesn't get enough respect for his work here, and I'm sure he would have proved most royally, had he been put on. Let's not forget that, in the late 20th century, a Doctor's first story was often weak, indeed often his weakest. (Go ahead, tell me with a straight face that the Television Movie is worse than Time And The Rani.) Like any pilot, there was still room for a proposed new show to find itself, so to judge the whole effort on the basis of one story is a teensy bit unfair to the poor Eighth Doctor. With a few tweaks (OK, several tweaks), this could have been a viable project.

Anyway, go buy it or rent it. It's history, baby.

And, to learn a bit more about the long history of Doctor Who, view this infographic (from Bob Canada)...click to embiggen to full boldness!