How Will S.H.I.E.L.D. Maintain The Status Quo In A World Full Of Gamma-Powered Rage Monsters, Hammer Wielding Gods And Men In Iron Suits?
Uh...they can't? Trick question, right?
If I were to get picky, I would note that the world is hardly "full" of those things.
And if I were to get snarky, I would mention that just because all Marvel solicits are now delivered in bullet points instead of coherent sentences and paragraphs, doesn't mean you have to capitalize every frakkin' word.
Fortunately, I am never picky or snarky...
In the interest of fun, here are some of the more amusing and contorted conventions-of-the-English-Language ignoring bullet points, completely unaltered by me:
One Of The Greatest Avengers Of All Time, Vision, Has Been Out Of Circulation For Years. Now That He’s Returned, He Has To Make Good On Promises He Made...!
A Perfect Jumping-On Point Featuring The Cast Of The Summer Blockbuster
But In Marvel Universe Continuity!
You’re Going To Need New Pants After This One.
Francesco Francavilla Will Melt Your Face
Off With The Awesomeness Of Comics!
But In Tahiti, A Mad Scientist Sets His Sights On Melissa Gold – But He Ain’t The Only One Mad About It!
Weapon Omega Is A Mutant Time Bomb, Ready To Explode...And He’s Just Shown Up On The Doorstep Of The Jean Grey School For Higher Learning. How Will The X-Men Disarm Him Before He Detonates?