Earth-2 History Books Were The BEST History Books!!

Hitler has decided to launch Operation: Sea Lion, and invade England!!

No one can save Europe now!!

But wait...who you gonna call?

DO. NOT. FRAK. WITH. THE. SPECTRE.

Seriously, DC thought having no heroes active during WWII was a good thing?!? Seriously...

From DC Special #29 (1977)

Spoiler Saturday--Another New Power?!?!

You'd think, with everything that a Kryptonian under a yellow sun can do, you wouldn't need to keep inventing new powers for them.

Jon (can we start calling him Superboy yet?) Lois are watching Superman fight Doomsday on TV, because it's better than watching BvS.

And Jon gets a little excited upon seeing a particular mammoth blow from his papa:

So, wait...Kryptonians are super-loud?!?!

Now, in fairness, Jon is a Kryptonian/human hybrid, so maybe this "so loud he shatters glass and can be heard in the next state" thing is unique to him. And he came from another dimension, so maybe it's like Silver Age Black Canary, and he now has vocal powers!!

Still, enough is enough, guys--can we just hit the brakes on any new super-powers? At least for awhile?

From Action Comics #960 (2016)

Friday Night Fights--FWA-WAH-WAH-BWOM Style!!

It's the Prize Fight round on Friday Night Fights, and MOC Spacebooger has declared the special rule for this fight: "every fight should have a clear shot of the loser laying lifeless and KOed."

Is that all? I think we can go that one better...

Tony Stark has found a way to cure the Hulk!! He develops a special pacemaker to attach to Bruce's heart, so he can't get too physically excited, and can't trigger the transformation!!

As per usual, though, Stark is really kinda stupid. Because the ambient gamma radiation in Banner's body is speeding up the pacemaker--meaning that he's turned into the Hulk, and now he can never calm down!!

What you gonna do about that, Iron Man?

So there's only one thing left to do:

And the result?

Ding Ding--the loser is laying lifeless and KO'd!! Achievement unlocked!!

But wait a minute...

The winner is KO'd and lifeless, too!!

Spacebooger thinks this scene was much cooler than the "Hulkbuster" in Avengers: Age Of Ultron.

Maximum power is from Iron Man #132 (1980), by David Michelinie (writer/plot), Jerry Bingham (pencil art) and Bob Layton (finished art/plot)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Good golly, I gave you the coveted double knockout in the final round!! Who could want for anything more? So go and vote!!

So Where The Hell Is My George Clooney Comic?

I dare you to say something snarky about this cover:

 "Actually, that's four fingers and a thumb, because..."

SMACK.

Anyway, the most interesting thing here is this:

See, you young 'uns are to obsessed with your Twitters and your Googles and such, but Dick Powell was a pretty well known actor in the day.

He got his break as a singer/comedian/romantic lead, but in 1944 everything changed when he became the first actor to portray Phillip Marlowe on screen. After that he starred in a whole bunch of noirs and crime dramas, as wise-cracking detectives and tough guys.

But what's most interesting is that in this comic book (part of an anthology series from Magazine Enterprises, similar to Dell's Four Color) does not star one of Dick Powell's characters--it stars Dick Powell, as himself!!

Of course, "himself" is very much his movie personna of the day--joking tough guy:

Five Fingers Of Satan!! Holy heck!!

Here's a terribly anatomically-focused secret agent report on The Five Fingers of Satan:

Intense.

But mostly, the story is an excuse for Dick Powell to fight and quip:

Oh, and straight up murder some crooks, too!

And beat the truth out of some more!

And stab them...

Oh, I'm sorry...no stabbing, just a corny speech.

Obviously, the idea of comic books starring actors--as themselves--having crazy adventures is one that really ought to revived.

From A-1 #21 (1949)